Many people won’t hear your boundaries Until you are rude about your boundaries. Then when you are rude they will ask you to say them nicer. No. Because clearly they did not respond well to your kindness.
Lots of women in prisons are there for fighting back. Please stop telling women to fight back as if women aren’t doing that. The system is designed against black women. Especially dark skin women. Especially trans women.
So many parents don’t help their kids. They just micromanage and abuse financially. They tell you that you need to do better but won’t help you do better.
PSA: if you know a man has harmed other women and you still allow him in your space and other women’s spaces??? You are enabling him and helping him feel safe. Which puts other women at harm.
A LOT of people aren’t really nice. It’s conditioned niceness they are showing. People will use niceness to manipulate others into giving them what they want. People will weaponize others desire to receive niceness. Do NOT think that someone is a good person because they’re nice.
“Just leave your abusive situation “ leave and go where? Many abusers know their victims don’t have places to go. So ima need y’all to stop telling people yo just leave as if they don’t wanna leave. Create spaces for victims to go since y’all wanna keep saying to leave.
We don’t talk about abuse within friendships enough. A lot of people are being abused within their friends. Remember that abuse isn’t always physical. A lot of people are being/ have been emotionally abused by a friend.
Listen: if someone is giving you clear directions on how you are hurting them and you don’t change/move different so you won’t hurt them? Do not act so shocked when they change how they are towards you!! You should’ve changed your behavior FIRST.
Lots of us didn’t get to be ourselves for most of our lives because of fear. Because of our parents projections? We ended up rejecting ourselves too. Here is to healing and feeling better. We deserve it.
I learned that I will only change what I choose to bring up in therapy. Someone can go to therapy for years and never confront their own behavior. It all depends on what you choose to bring up!
People don’t talk about how hard it is to get away from abusers. How much emotional and mental strength you have to gain before leaving. How abusers break you down mentally so you feel uncomfortable leaving.
Hey. What others say about you after you removed them from your life? Is none of your business. People will say whatever version of what happened to make themselves feel better. Focus on people who are in your life.
I do not wish bad on people who harmed me. I do not wish good on people who have harmed me. I simply place my energy to things and people who matter to me.
The problem isn’t black kids being in single parent homes. The problem is bad parenting. Lack of resources. Systematic racism. Poverty. The list goes on. Marriage isn’t gonna save black kids. Better resources and help will HELP.
DO NOT ALLOW PEOPLE TO ASSUME YOUR BOUNDARIES. Do not ASSUME people will know how to treat you. And don’t allow people to treat you how they wanna be treated. SET THE STANDARD THAT THEY HAVE TO TREAT YOU HOW YOU WANNA BE TREAT. Not how they wanna be treated.
The problem is that people think marriage or two parents in a house hold will save kids. No. If your Parents don’t listen to you? If your parents ignore your needs? If your parents are abusers? You will be messed up. Happy marriage or not? It’s still based on PARENTING.
Please don’t count on misogynistic men to know that they are. They will dismiss your claims because it’s not their experience. They will project and deflect.
People assume that their kids don’t have boundaries or needs because they are kids. And lots of adults don’t teach their kids boundaries. Why? Because many parents wanna cross their kids boundaries. So they don’t help their kids create boundaries.