Woke up early this am to the news about @chrissyteigen & @johnlegend ’s pregnancy loss. My heart aches for them and it hit me hard. Had to compartmentalize to get out the door and off to work. But those feelings rarely just go away so here we are...

It was almost exactly one year ago, while seven months pregnant, that I, like Teigen, suffered a massive hemorrhage and ended up on bedrest in the hospital. There were tears and transfusions. Doctors wanted me to remain hospitalized until our daughter was born.

Over the next few month and a half, I would end up bleeding several more times, including the morning our daughter was ultimately born healthy and strong at 37 weeks. But in between, there were many moments of anxiety and fear, shame and frustration.

Some of you know that we had two losses in 2016. One at 20 weeks and one at 8 weeks. I detailed the first one here:

Writing about the loss was therapeutic for me. It helped me move past the pain. Even so, my dad questioned my judgment about posting it. “You don’t have to share everything, Jennifer” he said. We agreed to disagree.

It’s important to remember that everyone grieves differently. And grief is an incredibly powerful emotion and emotion can be irrational. Hopefully, there is grace and kindness and forgiveness. From self and others.

We heard privately from many, many people who’d experienced something similar and were still struggling with their realities. I can only speak for us but knowing that we weren’t alone accelerated our healing process.

It’s ok to not understand why someone does something in the throes of grief. It’s ok to think “that’s not how I would behave” but if you’ve never been in that space, how can you honestly say? And even if you have, your blueprint for healing may be diff. One size doesn’t fit all.

I continue to talk about our pregnancy losses and challenges to help eliminate the stigma surrounding the topic. For way too long, couples - and women specifically - have carried that burden silently. And whether consciously or not, agonize over their own perceived inadequacies.

@JenLada Thank you for sharing this important insight into an unimaginable loss.

@JenLada Jen you are so incredibly brave and strong for sharing your story. I am so sorry for your losses and as a male I’ll never be able to fathom or even begin to comprehend what you went and still go through.

@JenLada When I saw Tiegen/Legend post last night, I felt only sadness. I know that like you, their need/desire to share will ultimately help others. We all take that risk when we post anything, but especially something so personal. Respect is a lost art. I hope critics think about others

@JenLada Beautifully written. Thank you for being so brave and strong with your words always 💕 those girls (and boy) are such blessings!

@JenLada You mean the wildly inappropriate 40+ year old grown man (who has his own issues which are never publicly attacked by those he does that too?), who still wears an earring and insists on disrespecting those he once knew, or doesn't know?

@JenLada Big hugs, Jen. Thanks for your vulnerability helping others.

@JenLada Thank you for this ❤️

@JenLada ❤️❤️❤️

@JenLada ❤️

@JenLada I'm sorry for your losses, thank you for sharing your experiences!!! As you said, everyone grieves differently so it's important to show compassion and empathy to everyone going through a rough time.

@JenLada Thank you for sharing. I’m seven months right now, and the fear that lurks in the shadows is difficult to explain.

@JenLada Thank you for being so open and honest. I cried when I saw their post this morning. So many women go through this, and I know it has helped my friends and loved ones who have felt this loss to hear from people with shared experiences. I am sorry for your losses.

@JenLada Thank you for sharing. Hugs to you❤️❤️❤️

@JenLada Very sorry about your loss Jen. Hope you have healed from it.

@JenLada Great thread, Jen! I've been there and my reaction was to completely shut down and internalize and that did not go well for my relationship. Kindness is the ONLY appropriate thing when someone suffers a loss like this.

@JenLada Thank you for sharing Jen and I am sorry you went through this. I hope it helps someone else feel like they aren't alone or educates others on this type of stuff.

@JenLada ❤️❤️❤️

@JenLada 🙏

@JenLada Thank you, Jen. Loss of a child at any stage in pregnancy is a heartache that never goes away. So many go through it, including myself at 20 wks in ‘13. The topic is hard for others to discuss - it’s “taboo” - but it’s a necessary part of the grief process.

@JenLada Beautifully said, @JenLada . Thank you for opening up, sharing your experiences and shedding light on a terrible situation that needs to be discussed. My heart hurts for @chrissyteigen and the other women like her 💕💕💕