Ivo Graham @IvoGraham Twitter profile

Pinned Tweet

Ivo Graham

3 months

Laying down a historic new pinned tweet to emphasise that I am On Tour through the spring and all dates can be found here

Gigs - Ivo Graham

Gigs Organised Fun - 2024 SPRING TOUR

www.ivograham.com

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Last Seen Profiles

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

3 years

Pfizer vaccine: effective, protective and safe Modena vaccine: effective, protective and safe Oxford vaccine: effective, protective, and safe

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4 years

Said “get a zoom” to two people flirting on a video chat earlier and though no one really noticed, it remains the highlight of an otherwise very uneventful day

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

2 years

There are people who were in the Queue for 2% of Truss's time as PM

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@IvoGraham

2 years

We're going to need a bigger Zelensky

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Ivo Graham

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2 years

When you do a u turn on the 45p and it spells P45

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

4 years

Prince Andrew Man United 🤝 Awful since Fergie left

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@IvoGraham

3 years

It’s coming home It’s coming home It’s coming home It’s dare

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

2 years

Accidentally took my daughter’s lunchbox back to the car after dropping her at nursery. Mistake rectified in less than a minute but still enough time for the whole class to be co ordinated to shout “silly daddy” on my return. The walk of shame

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

4 years

PM in the fridge, Brexit in the oven, NHS on the table, Union in the bin

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

4 years

Surely it’s time to give up on the 06:59 to Richmond

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

4 years

Johnson’s announcement 🤝 Johnson’s children 5 but it’s actually 6

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

6 years

Who da man?

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

4 years

In most Tory governments you get sacked immediately if they find out you went to Durham

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

3 years

Real belly laughs at this last night. The best 2 Good 2 Bad ever?

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

3 years

Love the cheery oblivious way my daughter sings along to “the babies on the bus go waa waa waa”. That’s you mate. You’re being lampooned

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

5 years

Suspicions that I’ve ghostwritten my six week old daughter’s card to her mother will not be helped by her use of the word “herculean”

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

3 years

Terrible night for chocolatiers

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

2 years

Lovely to be back on tour with Josh

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

3 years

Fitting that the attempt to remove relegation from football lasted from the 18th to the 20th

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

9 months

Hate my phone and the life altering damage it's already done to my brain, but when i get sent a verification code and it comes straight up on the screen without me having to go to my texts? I don't mind that

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

3 years

Euro 2044. England play Scotland in their first competitive match in 2+ decades, and the week’s buildup is dominated by highlights of the great stalemate of 2021. An English defender gets a “Stones trim” to commemorate the legendary header that hit the post

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

2 years

You can’t help but feel this wasn’t the centenary year the 1922 committee originally envisioned

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

3 years

I think ultimately you’d have to say Oprah’s gone a bit deeper than Corden here

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

4 years

Over the moon to conclude this saga with the news that tomorrow’s Swindon programme will list me as the proud sponsor of third choice goalkeeper Archie Matthews

Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

4 years

Probably the high point of yesterday’s fairly turgid affair at the County Ground was discovering that the “player sponsors” page of the programme now comes with excruciating mugshots of the lads pointing towards their benefactors

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

4 years

Hate when you’re trying to use Apple Pay at Waitrose but that impulse pack of Duchy Originals has pushed you over the 10 grand threshold

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

1 year

What a job Eddie Howe is doing

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

11 months

What a legacy

no context taskmaster

@taskmastererer

11 months

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

2 years

Briefly worried that my daughter would question whether Father Christmas would use wrapping paper with his own face on it, but she’s two and I may be overthinking this in the excitement

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

4 months

How many other people just learned Gary Neville was on Dragons Den because they tuned in for the Traitors at 20:58

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

2 years

Dominic Cummings driving to Barnard Castle to find out if Andrew Murrison's resigned

Rt Hon Andrew Murrison VR MP

@AWMurrison

2 years

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

5 years

To all the haters from school who said I would never hit puberty/lose my virginity: my GIRLFRIEND has just told me to SHAVE so my STUBBLE doesn't scratch our DAUGHTER

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

6 years

It should cost £100 to start a Whatsapp group.

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

4 years

Still struggling to see how any voter’s first priority in this election could be anything other than the total and final humiliation of Boris Johnson as a person

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

1 year

Gave up on parking my car in this space yesterday. Had three goes, bottled it and went somewhere else, walked back past it and took a photo to shame myself. Absolutely pathetic.

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

4 years

Rishi: eat out Boris: sell out Gavin: school’s out Priti: get out

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

5 years

Instead of the usual campaigning, each party should make their own John Lewis Christmas advert and then we all vote on our favourite one of those

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

5 years

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

4 years

Riled a wedding DJ by referring to Mr Brightside as “low hanging fruit”, and you know what, I’d do it again

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

4 years

2010: whole life ahead of me 2020: quite a lot of paths closed off now to be fair

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

3 years

France lost on penalties to Switzerland who lost on penalties to Spain who lost on penalties to Italy who

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

17 days

Next year

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

5 years

Do I enjoy randomly appointing people to judicial positions? I’ll let you be the judge of that.

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

8 months

My daughter (4 with strong designs on 5) has now twice asked in the car for a song I apparently played on a portable speaker at a playground in July. I have no idea what it is. I no doubt have failed and will fail her in many less trivial ways but my this one is sending me mad

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

2 years

72 hours for Gerrard to send Everton down and give Liverpool the title

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

11 months

Bereft doesn’t cover it really. I loved doing this show so much, and could not have asked for merrier taskmates or a more supportive crew, right up to turning these simply outlandish threads round at only a few hours’ notice on the final day. Off to sit in the shed for a bit

Channel 4

@Channel4

11 months

Thank you to these five and all involved for another great series of #Taskmaster and a HUGE congratulations to the series winner (who we won’t announce just yet in case you missed the episode)

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

4 months

We worked out what the song was today and it was one of the best moments of my life ❤️

Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

8 months

My daughter (4 with strong designs on 5) has now twice asked in the car for a song I apparently played on a portable speaker at a playground in July. I have no idea what it is. I no doubt have failed and will fail her in many less trivial ways but my this one is sending me mad

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

2 years

The writer Ernest Hemingway was once challenged to write the saddest story that could be told in only six words. He thought for a time, then simply wrote:

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

3 months

Today my cusp-of-five-year-old, choosing an outfit, “don’t be sad, socks, I’m sure I’ll choose you later” to a pair that didn’t quite make the cut. Need to keep a lid on too much tweeting like this but that was really an all-timer for me

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

2 years

When you ask Sean Connery who history is written by

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

2 years

Just got ripped to shreds on a stag do for not having listened to the latest Rory Stewart and Alastair Campbell podcast

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

2 months

Three Grahams, one Jones, half a marathon

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

2 years

Time travelling to Barcelona 1999 to tell Man United fans that in the long run this is actually quite bad news

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

2 years

Sue Gray trying to finish the report

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

4 years

Lockdown’s going to be like one of those long haul flights where you spend most of it losing your mind, then the plane goes in to land and you get annoyed because you’ve still got 20 minutes of Step Brothers left to watch

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

3 years

@charlie_lb1 Livid to have tainted my smuggest ever tweet with a spelling error

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

3 years

Not the worst thing ever to happen on a canal, of course

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

2 months

Texting my mother to thank her for being such an inspirational woman in my life, while carefully holding back some of the more mothering-specific material for Sunday’s card

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

1 year

Delighted to share my stream of consciousness truth approx. 30 seconds after finishing the race

TCS London Marathon

@LondonMarathon

1 year

"I didn't vaseline my nipples. The first third was chafe city" 🤣 We've all been there, @IvoGraham 😖 Congratulations and we hope you're recovering well from Sunday! #LondonMarathon #WeRunTogether

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

2 years

Girlfriends around the country explaining the public vote using salt and pepper pots

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

1 year

We did it

Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

1 year

This time next week me and my brother will be wheezing our way around the Isle of Dogs. We’re delighted to have hit our sponsorship target but all donations still v welcome!

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

4 years

Haven’t managed to sneak “Frankly, my tier? I don’t give a damn” into a conversation yet, but even just knowing I have it up my sleeve is a huge confidence booster

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

1 year

I’m afraid I’ve been the victim of several more pranks

Taskmaster

@taskmaster

1 year

Your Taskmaster Series 15 cast! 🎉 @jennyeclair @IvoGraham @frankieboyle @kfRedhot @TheMaeMartin

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

6 years

When you’re not 100% sure of your own feelings but reckon you can push it through on a technicality

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

9 months

Fantastic revelation on TMS that Alastair Cook initially didn’t tell his wife about his retirement because he didn’t want to dampen spirits after the Inbetweeners Movie

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

2 years

Absolutely colossal wakawow incoming

Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

2 years

Some days you know the Newsnight guitar wakawow is really going to hit

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

5 years

Will the hapless bunch of islanders have enough food to survive now they’ve cut themselves off from the mainland? Find out on today’s episode of the News, 10pm tonight, straight after Shipwrecked

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

3 years

Dulux’s silence is deafening

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

3 years

Gareth just laying demon after demon to rest. Penalties three years ago. Germany tonight. Pizza Hut surely to go into administration by Christmas

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

4 years

Wives the British press would prefer Harry to have had: Scarlett Johansson Florence Pugh Laura Dern Margot Robbie Margot Robbie

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

1 year

Could not be more grateful for this incredible experience which I also fear is going to be very embarrassing. 9pm, Channel 4

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

3 years

Typical Marxists sharing the points

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

3 years

Taylor Swift to re record all the old Premier Leagues with even better production

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

4 years

Normal People makes me wish I could go back to uni and do it all over again, and by “it” I mean “be one of the posh twats in the background of someone else’s love story”

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

3 years

It’s starting to become clear just how poor Panama really were actually

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

3 years

This week's pilgrimage for The Football's On ( @btsport tonight): an intrepid jog into the (redeveloped) heart of the East End. #irons

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

3 years

Absolutely smashed my lifetime PB for talking about how it was hot earlier in the week but it is cold now

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

3 years

Time to really hit Perez where it hurts: 180 minute games

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

1 year

Oh, good, the official Channel 4 account

Channel 4

@Channel4

1 year

No words are needed. @IvoGraham #Taskmaster

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

3 years

Content as trivial as ever, but some real cinematic gusto in my first football punditry of 2021, filmed in two separate locations ahead of Friday's west London derby. SW6!

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

2 years

Jools’s face a picture as Sheeran blows the pre record gaff by revealing that Ipswich are losing to Barrow “right now”

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

4 years

I have had some bad games of 5 a side football recently, but today is the first I would ever award myself the full 0/10 for. At one point I did a pass so wayward that our ringer, who has never met me before, muttered, audibly and quite legitimately, “what the fuck was that”

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

1 year

The high point of my series, in a pretty uncontested field

Channel 4

@Channel4

1 year

We didn’t see that coming… #Taskmaster @IvoGraham @AlexHorne

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

2 years

Completed my 50km and confirmed as an MS Society ambassador. What a feeling

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

10 months

Told off for pointing out disqualification offences at the nursery sports day

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

10 months

In the car listening to this epic Wimbledon clash, between the 5 Live commentator who pronounces it Alcaraz and his colleague who pronounces it Alcarath

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

4 years

Name a more iconic duo. I’ll wait

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

4 years

Some jammy little shit is going to be tuning into Match of the Day 2 later not knowing any of this

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

3 years

I've had less stressful Zoom gigs

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

1 year

The excruciating self loathing of texting someone to ask a favour and having to start it with a “ha yeah” to a joke you didn’t reply to two months ago

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

3 years

Portman Road famously sponsored by Monica’s fake orgasm in Friends

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

4 years

After securing his people an exclusive £10 discount at Pizza Express, Rishi Sunak announces his new policy: 30% off a DFS sofa

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

12 days

So many amazing photos like this coming through. I loved last Sunday so much. Also for balance: I was coughing up quite a lot of this confetti throughout the final half mile of the run

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

3 years

Lost my wallet last week and someone has found it and sent it to me using the address on my driving licence. Haven’t had the best luck with unwittingly revealing my whereabouts this year but that’s really made my day. Thank you kind stranger who knows where I live

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

3 years

Staying close to home (in both senses) for this week's Loftus Road broadcast, as featured on The Football's On ( @btsport tonight, 8:15) and for the specific attention of @chazaustin10

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

11 months

One of these people went to see Peter Gabriel last night, and the other has just learned the words to “Call The Shots” by Girls Aloud. So incredibly grateful to have them both in my life

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

3 years

Decided to put my gloves in my bag last week because even if I didn’t need them yet, I’d need them soon. And there they were today. About once every few months I pull something like this off, and a thin veneer of progress briefly flatters my shambolic, tail-chasing existence

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Ivo Graham

@IvoGraham

2 years

Did the Brighton marathon! Top city, top conditions, top experience. High points: first seeing the sea, a boombox in Preston blasting Smalltown Boy, finishing (3:22). Low points: an energy gel bursting in my pocket, flagging at miles 19-21 in a very desolate bit of Shoreham Port