By the looks of social media the last few days, many people who swore they’d never step foot in Minneapolis again in 2020 found themselves at US Bank Stadium for the Kenny Chester concert on Saturday!
So on today’s
@PardonMyTake
,
@BarstoolBigCat
said there’s probably some delusional Kirk Cousins fan from Edina or Eden Prairie that’s stuffing it in everyone’s face.
I’m from Eagan, MN, but it’s me, I am that delusional Kirk Cousins fan.
Rest in pieces to the worst sports network that had the world’s shittiest app & took away the ability for thousands of fans to watch their favorite teams play. Bally Sports, you will not be missed.
Mr. AB -
I went to Eagan High School, one of the biggest high schools in Minnesota. In the 30 years of its existence, they’ve never been to the State Tournament. They’re 1-30 in their last 31 games & they’ve been outscored 215-7 in 5 games this year.
Please help the Wildcats.
What I would do if I ran the Twins:
1. Fire the hitting coach ASAP. Hire my dad in his place maybe
2. Cut Kepler. Get ready to learn Japanese buddy
3. Make beers not $14
4. Bring back the old “M” hats
5. Allow smoking and sell cigs at Target Field (for vibes)
“So it’s kinda an all guys school but not really; you have classes on both campuses & every class is coed. The girls graduate from St. Ben’s & the guys graduate from St. John’s. St. John’s has a fantastic football program too. I’m gonna grab a piña colada, you guys want one?”
*In line to get food*
Me: “I’m breaking a Catholic rule by eating meat today.”
Guy behind me: “I was raised a Catholic & I married a dude, you’ll be fine.”
John Gagliardi gave a nervous, wide-eyed freshman the time of day to interview him for over two hours in his office. I will never forget that conversation for as long as I live.
Did my driver's ed teacher *allegedly* steal $29,000 from the school? Yes.
Did he teach me the correct order cars at a stop sign should go in? Yes.
Is this knowledge priceless? Yes.
Going to the Mall of America on the Saturday before Christmas is the dumbest idea I've had since I went through a skateboarding phase in middle school.
When I was 14, I struck out 4 times in one game against the worst team in the league. After the 4th K, my mom screamed from the stands, “Jesus Henry, with the bases loaded!”
Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.
Sunday is Mother’s Day. In their honor, please send along your favorite mom/baseball stories. The beautiful and compelling story of the
@A
’s Stephen Piscotty and his mom is especially moving this weekend.
#bestofalltim
The Timberwolves are 23rd in 3PT %. If only there was a guy who’s shooting the piss out of the ball in Italy right now that looks like Dennis the Menace that they could sign…oh well!
Me, a senior in college, double fisting rum and Cokes while shirtless on the dance floor: “We ain’t never gettin’ older!”
Me, two years later, getting ready to sit at a desk and stare at a computer for 8 hours: “We definitely got older.”
Fun fact of the day: Philadelphia Eagles head coach Nick Sirianni was a three year starter at Mount Union, winning national championships in 2000, 2001, & 2002. He played in the 2003 national championship, but lost to…St. John’s 😎
I got interviewed about the lifting of the MLB lockout by Channel 5? It might be on the news tonight? Record the 6:30 & 10:00 news? I was draped in Carhartt & lululemon joggers when he was asking me about the Twins? Enjoy The TV Man on your TV?
The driver's ed. teacher, who was also was the soccer & basketball coach, was charged with stealing more than $29,000 from summer camps & fundraisers
#FreeKurt
Got dead last in my fantasy football league last season & the loser has to wear the St. Thomas Academy formal uniform out to the bars. Five people have thanked me for my service & I’ve received three free beers.
Not sure why I gave ESPN's NFL Power Rankings list much credence in the first place, but seeing the Vikings ranked behind the Rams (after pounding the snot out of them two weeks ago) is about as blasphemous as it gets.
Yesterday, I wrote Miguel Sanó: “Hello brother. Today is my 24th birthday. It’d be great if you hit a home run for me tonight. Have a good day.”
He replied: “Yes brother.”
I said: “Good luck brother.”
Yesterday’s game was cancelled, it’s a complete coincidence, but kinda cool.
Uvalde shooter: had a gun
El Paso shooter: had a gun
Parkland shooter: had a gun
Lewiston shooter: had a gun
Nashville shooter: had a gun
Fort Hood shooter: had a gun
Sandy Hook shooter: had a gun
Virginia Tech shooter: had a gun
Fixed it for you!
In 6th grade, my crush asked me to be her fake boyfriend & to put my initials in her AIM bio, so she could make her ex-boyfriend jealous. That is the closest I have been to true love.