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@GeneralSamsSec

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605
Following
996
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professional ass. Merch: Youtube: Podcast:

Tallahassee, FL
Joined November 2018
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
4 years
My grandma said she enjoyed Django Unchained until the hero was shot by that German feller I said grandma what the fuck
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
1 year
Sons of The Forest is so gross can you believe i golf clubbed a baby for 30 minutes and the game never once told me to stop.
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
1 year
anyone else sus about how quick all the streamers jumped on planes to get outta here once Creator Clash was over with
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1 year
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis pushes death penalty for child rapists.
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
6 months
@dreamwastaken we are collectively about to give you a wedgie dude shut up
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
3 years
It’s Father’s Day not Nephew’s Day you little shit
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
21 days
The tarkov kids will scream. The tarkov kids will moan. The tarkov kids will threaten. The tarkov kids will still get on and stream tarkov tomorrow.
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
2 months
Should I kill him or no?
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
3 years
My daughter just took a shit so big that my wife is on the phone with the doctor and crying lmao
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
7 months
i dust em off before i leave the house
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
1 year
Got my haircut and now my daughter is terrified of me lmao
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
3 years
Norm MacDonald is hands down my greatest hero and i hope to one day achieve a fraction of what he achieved in the world of comedy. RIP to the funniest comic ever
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
4 months
@Addison_McD me if i never discovered pussy and internet
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
4 years
Need more fans like this
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
3 years
Got a new haircut. Was told by 2500 people during stream that it sucked and then my wife said it sucked then my best friend said it sucked then I got on Reddit to unwind and
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
1 year
Wish me luck guys
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
2 years
hats off to rockstar for making one of the best single player games of all time and one of the worst multiplayer games of all time and somehow they're both Red Dead 2
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
4 years
my daughter pisses on the floor. my dog pisses in the yard. my pregnant wife pisses her pants when she sneezes. and i get in trouble for pissing on the toilet seat. at least i made it to the fucking toilet.
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
1 year
turns out you can just waltz into a Scottish festival and buy a kilt. They don’t ask for ur Scott card or blood test or anything.
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
1 year
Too fat and retarded to be brainwashed. This is a big win for the zoomers proud of you fellas.
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
3 years
caught dinner. What have you virgins done today?
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
7 months
I called Biden, Nikita called Putin, and we squashed the beef. It was all a big misunderstanding.
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
5 months
wendigoon is getting dragged on twitter rn and he might be genuinely the nicest guest we've had on the podcast dude he wouldn't hurt a fly lmao
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
6 months
My wife is on a rampage trying to figure out which family member fed our dog table scraps that caused her to have explosive diarrhea all last night. (Spoiler Alert: It was me)
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
4 years
I told everyone that when I hit a million subs I'd buy myself an Eames Lounge Chair with black leather cushions and a palisander shell. Well, I just hit a million subs and guess what? I can't afford it lmao
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
11 months
This guy is literally me if my dad was president
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11 months
Hunter Biden filmed himself smoking crack behind the wheel, driving at 172mph on way to Vegas: photos
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
1 year
my audience and I have such a great relationship i love you guys
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
2 years
do urself a favor and go take a look at the world while ur still young enough to do it
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
3 years
Ever since I got this COVID thing my wife’s cooking has been tasting better than ever
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
1 year
and a goodnight to you as well thank you
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
2 years
we’ve been together 16 years so I brought her to go look at big trees to celebrate
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
2 years
I want an Amish president
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
9 months
Usually YouTubers come up with some bullshit half baked excuse as to why they haven’t been making videos but boy oh boy do I have a banger excuse: My mom died and then I got hit by a hurricane
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
3 years
Almost done editing
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
2 years
im paying $1200 a month for my family health care plan. yesterday i woke up with pretty bad abdominal pain. I called the doctor and he told me to go take a shit. I took a shit and i feel fine now. Worth every penny.
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
3 years
I was cutting firewood and Abby said I didn't know what I was doing, I told her to go inside and as soon as she went in I cut my thigh with the axe and now I'm hiding outside because I don't want her to know she was right.
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
2 years
weighted-pack training (for no reason in particular) and collecting hiking gear (for no reason in particular)
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
3 years
More than getting an item in game, what warms my heart is seeing how much you guys like that I have an item in game. Seriously grateful to have you guys. hope u get diabetes drinking it
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
2 years
My wife is never touching the grill again
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
2 years
watching these ukranian invasion clips made me realize how little gun ownership really defends you against a modern army with cruise missiles and shit
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
2 years
Three year olds are fucking brutal man. My daughter just listed all of her best friends (which was basically everyone she knows) and intentionally left out her mom because she wouldn’t let her eat chalk. She was holding her at the time.
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
2 years
voip is awesome and there’s nothing I can do to ruin it Battlestate you really have outdone yourselves
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
2 years
hope everyone had an awesome halloween except the people that put a bowl of candy on their porch it takes the fun out of the holiday and ur a fucking grinch and all the kids hate you and you deserve to have the whole bowl stolen
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
2 years
Critical knee scrape while puddle jumping. It’s tough on these streets.
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
3 years
Think I’m gonna move the family away from Florida. Nothing against Florida, in fact I’ll be staying. Just gonna get rid of the family.
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
2 years
So what you’re saying is: Amber Heard needs a new man with bed to shit in
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
3 years
@MrBeast You know this guy grabbed that brush for 2 seconds for that pic
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
2 years
As long as she’s doing it in fishnets i’m in
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
2 years
civilians should be able to get those drones that do missile strikes to prevent tyranny and such
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
2 years
Handful of edibles before visiting family for Christmas was the best idea I’ve had this year
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
6 months
cuts firewood once:
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
3 years
when they legalize weed $10 says my wife still wont let me get wiggidy wiggidy on the goblin gas
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
2 years
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
10 months
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@GeneralSamsSec
3 years
tarkov is wiping on christmas eve? welp fuck the family i got shit to do
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
2 years
Someone sent in heelies and I just busted my ass so hard on them that my wife took them away from me
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
2 years
wait wait wait so they're making Alex Jones pay $965 million dollars for *checks notes* being a fucking asshole on the internet? gulp
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
3 years
yeah, we do a little bit of extract camping
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
3 years
average general sam enjoyer
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
2 years
in-laws are watching the kids on wipe day
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
3 years
#36 on trending This is big. I will be thinking of this when I get turned down for sex tonight and begrudgingly masturbate in the bathroom while the faucet is running so nobody can hear me crying
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
3 years
aw i feel horrible my nephew got mud in his eye from my wicked cool swag jump i did and now has a bacterial infection that requires antibiotic eyedrops. suits him right. everyone knows to never stare directly into one of my signature puddle jumps.
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
2 years
set this up this morning and got my first workout done. shits ez.
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
2 years
It was nice hanging with the boys but I’m homesick. These past 4 days are the longest I’ve been apart from Abby since 7th grade.
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
8 months
anybody got sturdy patio furniture recommendations?
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
1 year
Whoever sent in that 1200 watt PSU I just want you to know I installed it and did great cable management and everything before I realized you took the cpu cable out of the box before shipping it. You have cost me hours and my sanity. Good job.
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
2 years
my littlefinger arc begins
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
9 months
This is the dumbest shit I’ve ever wasted money on
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
3 years
Anyone over lvl 10 on Tarkov already has a sad family life
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
4 months
@summit1g Have tried bringing a gun with you and then shooting the people that make you mad? That’s what I do but idk if it works in game.
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@GeneralSamsSec
8 months
Just a lil pit stop before the scattering
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@GeneralSamsSec
3 years
$13,000 to stay at this hospital for 48 hours but they can’t even give me 2-ply toilet paper
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
4 years
America is on the cusp of a civil war. I will be waiting until the 3rd quarter and join the winning side because I have no principles and would just like to carry on masturbating until I die of old age.
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
4 years
my crunchwrap video got the ads yoinked on it. taco bell fears what the common man can do in his very own kitchen.
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@GeneralSamsSec
4 years
Never shoulda hover handed
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
3 years
my wife just went on a rant about how gross anal is and then asked me what kind of porn i watch
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@GeneralSamsSec
3 years
Imagine your career bruised because you cheated on a minecraft speedrun. If ur gonna fuck up at least do something cool like get caught conducting a midget jousting tourney in your basement or sumn.
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@GeneralSamsSec
3 years
More women watch than ever before. This is big.
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@GeneralSamsSec
2 years
I feel so fucking powerful rn. I made custom nutty buddy ice cream 6 months ago and now look what they came out with:
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@GeneralSamsSec
2 years
only like 120 bucks or some shit to finally be able to do this
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@GeneralSamsSec
3 years
im gonna not get the vaccine and then base my entire personality around that decision so i can finally be as fucking retarded as i look
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@GeneralSamsSec
3 years
Everyone get on tarkov cause this shits only gonna be fun for the next 30 days
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@GeneralSamsSec
4 years
After today's video people keep calling me a "fat bussy slampig" and it's not okay
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@GeneralSamsSec
4 years
The subreddit is a shithole
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@GeneralSamsSec
3 years
No upload for now, got some plans this weekend
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@GeneralSamsSec
3 years
Even his own subreddit dunks his ass
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
1 year
do i have a virus or is the home button really a fucking dead meme from like 2014
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@GeneralSamsSec
8 months
i have power of attorney over a 90 year old woman
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@GeneralSamsSec
11 months
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@GeneralSamsSec
2 years
Went to bed thinking about these tattoos man
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@GeneralSamsSec
3 years
My neighbors found out what I do for a living so I gotta move ill be back to posting next week
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@GeneralSamsSec
2 years
Don’t let the drip frighten you
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@GeneralSamsSec
4 years
Games I refuse to play to spite my subs: Fall Guys Among Us Russian Roulette
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@GeneralSamsSec
1 month
@DramaAlert @JoshPescatore Arent these supposed to be funny
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
3 years
When she dies I'm burying her in the cheapest pinebox money can buy
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
2 years
Was waiting on a sponsor to approve an ad. They just got back to me and told me there was absolutely no way in hell they would sponsor my video. So sponsorless video tomorrow at 1pm.
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
4 years
I expect bloodshed regardless of who wins. When the chaos breaks out, when the people turn on each other, and when our country is in flames... That's when nobody will notice me stealing my neighbor's brand new solar panels
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
4 years
i photoshopped aqua to make him look more handsome. how did i do? before n after.
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@GeneralSamsSec
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@GeneralSamsSec
2 years
Whoever sent the badass pulp fiction art, Abby stole it and put it in the kitchen
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