Elis James @elisjames Twitter profile

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Elis James

@elisjames

6 months

Please watch this video

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Elis James

@elisjames

7 years

We've had two attacks in a fortnight on your watch, you fucking whopper

Boris Johnson

@BorisJohnson

7 years

Very very very clear - Corbyn will never protect us against our enemies.

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Elis James

@elisjames

3 years

I was home schooling my daughter today and I thought ‘I quite fancy a pint.’ I looked at my watch and it was 9.14am

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Elis James

@elisjames

2 years

Wales have qualified for the World Cup. I have wanted this since 1990. I am actually lightheaded. I just can’t process this

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Elis James

@elisjames

4 years

My one year old son has just started walking, and loves to hold my hand as he toddles along. Odd to think that one day he will be 16 and almost certainly think I am a complete wanker

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Elis James

@elisjames

2 years

Life can be so beautiful

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Elis James

@elisjames

6 years

if you think smashing up an IKEA is funny you are a fucking dick.

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Elis James

@elisjames

5 years

Taking my four year old daughter to her first football match. Not saying she's not up for it, but she's taking two colouring books and is dressed as Cinderella.

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Elis James

@elisjames

3 years

Turkey 0 Wales 2. If only I could bottle this feeling. It’s heaven

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Elis James

@elisjames

3 years

All I’m asking for is an away trip, cans on the train, a late winner (3-2, having been second best all afternoon), the players to punch the air in front of us at full time & for a man whose name I don’t know but have been on nodding terms with since 2001 to compliment my new coat

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Elis James

@elisjames

3 years

Lego can fuck off as well

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Elis James

@elisjames

3 years

Prior to the tournament, a lot of the pundits said we were the worst team in the group. See you in Amsterdam

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Elis James

@elisjames

3 years

The Prince of Wales.

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Elis James

@elisjames

1 year

Holland’s kit at this tournament is the wrong shade of orange and I will not be silenced on this

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Elis James

@elisjames

6 years

I’m in Port Talbot. Bought my three year old daughter an apple juice and they served it to her in a Stella glass. #Wales

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Elis James

@elisjames

2 years

Massive. Absolutely massive it is

British Comedy Guide

@BritishComedy

2 years

Sky orders a 16 episode reboot of Baddiel & Skinner's Fantasy Football League, with @realMattLucas and @ElisJames as the new hosts:

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Elis James

@elisjames

4 years

This is incredible

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Elis James

@elisjames

5 years

Just talked to a 16yr old neighbour about her GCSE revision - the distractions posed by phones, the internet, etc. Difficult to explain to her that when I was revising for my GCSEs in the 90s, I would often take an hour off to just stare at a wall

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Elis James

@elisjames

3 years

I love that she grew up in Bromley. I take my daughter to Bromley all the time for a treat because it’s our nearest Claire’s Accessories

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Elis James

@elisjames

2 years

Bale 2 Austria 1. When it matters, he matters. He is quite simply our best ever. Cawr o ddyn.

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Elis James

@elisjames

2 years

I’ve watched this countless times over the years and it somehow gets worse with every viewing. When it was filmed Jamie was 12 and Michael was World Player of the Year and had won five trophies with Liverpool in six months

The Upshot

@UpshotTowers

2 years

Remembering when Michael Owen gleefully smacked 22 consecutive volleys past a 12 year old from point blank range. “I just love volleying – poor old Jamie has no chance."

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Elis James

@elisjames

5 years

Whatever you think of the new material, or his voice, you have to accept Liam Gallagher as one of the great coat wearers of his age

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Elis James

@elisjames

4 years

The funniest tweet I have seen this year

Jim Daly 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

@jimdalycomedy

6 years

"Hi Peter, can you just give us a nice touching tribute on what Laurie Cunningham meant to you please" "Sure, no worries..."

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Elis James

@elisjames

3 years

Isy’s gone to bed. I should load the dishwasher really, but I’ve lost all my confidence

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Elis James

@elisjames

7 months

Took my four year old son to his first football coaching session today. He’s wearing full Wales kit and I’m wearing a Wales tracksuit, just to let any potential England scouts know where we stand as a family on the thorny issue of him being dual qualified

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Elis James

@elisjames

3 years

Fascinated by the men whose replies to tweets about women feeling frightened basically boil down to: ‘Frightened? What’s all the fuss about? If you look at the statistics, men are actually more likely to be murdered, and when we’re murdered we just put up with it’

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Elis James

@elisjames

2 years

Odd old feeling, having to defend the language I speak to my mum on the phone from attacks by English journalists who now live in France.

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Elis James

@elisjames

1 year

Football’s always been a shit sport, I don’t know what all the fuss is about

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Elis James

@elisjames

1 year

Trying to write a piece about Bale for the Guardian. Impossible to distill into 1000 words. I’ve got to his second goal for Wales in 2007 and am on 822 words already. He was a titan. Colossal. I actually think he changed the country. We were lucky to have him.

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Elis James

@elisjames

8 months

Solidarity with the women who’ve come forward today. It must have taken indescribable courage.

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Elis James

@elisjames

4 years

Real Madrid are out of Europe. I sincerely hope that Gareth Bale is at home, polishing his golf clubs and laughing his head off.

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Elis James

@elisjames

2 years

Keep watching Bale’s free kick and bursting into tears on the train like a complete whopper

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Elis James

@elisjames

2 years

Pathetic how putting a few AAA batteries in a toy for a two year old makes me feel like I’m the chief mechanic on a Formula 1 car

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Elis James

@elisjames

3 years

Our boys don’t seem to have realised that the success of my career is directly related to their performances on the pitch

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Elis James

@elisjames

3 years

She also played international football for Wales. The woman is simply incredible. I find her absolutely awe-inspiring

Suzanne Breen

@SuzyJourno

3 years

Lauren Price would have been put in care at 3 days old had her grandparents not taken her in. She grew up with a dream. The young Welsh boxer drove a taxi by night & trained in the day. She’s just won gold in Tokyo. Another incredible backstory of a warrior woman.

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Elis James

@elisjames

3 years

‘Game’s gone’ rating: an era defining, unprecedented 10/10

Venezia FC

@VeneziaFC_EN

3 years

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Elis James

@elisjames

4 years

@goddersbloom Godfrey, you can't catch the Blitz

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Elis James

@elisjames

3 years

If GMB want to go in a very different direction & employ John & I, on tomorrow’s show they could expect us to lead with Swansea’s draw at Blackburn, before ‘have you got a printer in the house?’ (8-8.30am), & then ‘have you ever seen a big celebrity in a small car? (8.30-9am)

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Elis James

@elisjames

6 months

Well this is absolutely one of the best days of my entire life.

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Elis James

@elisjames

4 years

Wales 2 Hungary 0. Wales have qualified for Euro 2020. Ecstasy. This is ecstasy.

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Elis James

@elisjames

4 years

I am absurdly invested in a man I don’t know going on loan to a club I don’t support

Tottenham Hotspur

@SpursOfficial

4 years

Bale. Is. Back. Welcome home, @GarethBale11 😍 #BaleIsBack ⚪️ #COYS

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Elis James

@elisjames

2 years

I suppose I shouldn’t give this the oxygen of publicity, but it never fails to amaze me how many of these articles get written. The UK must be one of the few places in the world where bilingualism is somehow seen as a negative. And it’s dismissing hundreds of thousands of people.

The Critic

@TheCriticMag

2 years

Jonathan Meades asks why the Welsh Government is bothering to promote a moribund language:

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Elis James

@elisjames

2 years

The hour prior to the school run turns me into such a dickhead. ‘BRUSH YOUR TEETH COME ON, THINK! IT’S 8.39! WORK WITH ME, WORK WITH ME, WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES? IT’S 8.40 - SWITCH ON!’

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Elis James

@elisjames

3 years

Very sad to hear about Sean Lock. I only got to work with him a few times, which was always exciting because I’d been such a huge fan when I was growing up. He was a jaw droppingly talented comedian. One of the very best

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Elis James

@elisjames

2 years

I’d love to know why Ramsey hasn’t come on. He’s made for games like this

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Elis James

@elisjames

3 years

Isy just said to me ‘you go “mmmm” after each mouthful of Weetabix you eat, every single morning’ with a vigour that suggests she’s building up the courage to leave me

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Elis James

@elisjames

3 years

Well, that’s me done with bacon, Carlsberg and bleak crime drama

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Elis James

@elisjames

1 year

He’s retired. He gave Welsh fans moments we never thought we’d have. He’s the best we’ve produced in 147 years of Welsh international football. I never got to see John Charles in action, but I got to see plenty of Bale. Diolch, Gareth

Gareth Bale

@GarethBale11

1 year

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Elis James

@elisjames

2 years

We’re recording this next week, it’s a dream come true. The dream of course being to load it with so many references to Swansea City and Wales that it borders on (without becoming) unwatchable

British Comedy Guide

@BritishComedy

2 years

Matt Lucas and Elis James are reportedly set to pilot a new version of Baddiel & Skinner's Fantasy Football League format, for Sky:

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Elis James

@elisjames

2 years

Surely @bbc5live will accept that me and John are the perfect people to cover this?

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Elis James

@elisjames

1 year

Imagine being on the piss in Wrexham tonight. It will be absolutely fantastic

Rhys Williams﮷

@RhysWilliamsTV

1 year

The moment Wrexham returned to the football league 👇

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Elis James

@elisjames

3 years

Having a strong coffee before a drink has absolutely revolutionised middle aged boozing for me. I’m about to give the kids a bath with such a weird energy. ‘Splash all you like! I don’t give a fuck!’

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Elis James

@elisjames

1 year

@THEJamesWhale Yes, and it was absolutely fucking rubbish.

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Elis James

@elisjames

6 years

Love the second ‘twat’ but also a huge fan of ‘with his trotters up’

James Felton

@JimMFelton

6 years

Holy shit the only person left talking sense on Brexit is *squints* Danny fucking Dyer

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Elis James

@elisjames

6 years

It’s my sister’s wedding. My new brother in law (from Bolton) started his speech in Welsh, he’s been practicing for weeks. So proud of him!

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Elis James

@elisjames

2 years

Happy new year from the lads

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Elis James

@elisjames

5 years

A goalie whose wife has just gone into labour. Driving rain. Loads of those tin foil FA Cups. A goalscorer who was stacking shelves in Tesco less than two years ago. Now they're playing the champions in the next round. Have Newport County just achieved the perfect cup tie?

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Elis James

@elisjames

5 years

I saw this sign two days ago and I can’t stop thinking about ‘Worse’

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Elis James

@elisjames

3 years

I have milk in the fridge that’s lasted longer than the European Super League

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Elis James

@elisjames

3 years

I just cannot imagine being enough of an extrovert to do this. I think I could be held at gunpoint and my answer would be ‘no, I’m fine actually’

Film Updates

@FilmUpdates

3 years

James Corden, Camila Cabello, Billy Porter and Idina Menzel stopped traffic in LA for a flash mob with a cover of Jennifer Lopez’s “Let’s Get Loud” to promote #CinderellaMovie

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Elis James

@elisjames

3 years

Belarus 2 Gareth Bale 3. What did we do to deserve him? Who do we thank? Who do I pay?

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Elis James

@elisjames

3 years

Christ, @RMcElhenney is impressive

BBC Radio 5 Live

@bbc5live

3 years

🗣 "The word 'owner' makes no sense to me" Actor and new @Wrexham_AFC owner @RMcElhenney tells @Scott_Mills and @Chris_Stark how he views the responsibility of running a football club. Listen Saturday at 9am on @BBCSounds :

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Elis James

@elisjames

2 years

When Isy asks me what I’m thinking about, it’s almost always this photograph

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Elis James

@elisjames

4 years

Admittedly, this is a tweet for parents of young children, but bloody hell - imagine going for a pint with Bing

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Elis James

@elisjames

3 years

Fucking hell football is absolutely brilliant

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Elis James

@elisjames

2 years

Netherlands 3 Wales 2. Bale equalised in the 92nd minute, Depay scored the winner in the 93rd minute. I have never taken my top off and put it back on again as quickly in my life

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Elis James

@elisjames

5 years

My 4yr old daughter just picked up somebody else’s litter in the street. When I asked why she said ‘because Santa is watching’

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Elis James

@elisjames

2 years

My 7yr old daughter has a friend round. I offered him beer or wine instead of water or squash, I did a great pratfall outside the house and have just pretended to have an allergic fit after eating a fishfinger. Do you know what? I’m having a great gig

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Elis James

@elisjames

3 years

Bristol City 0 Swansea City 1. Big rivalry, full blooded. 2,300 in the away end. And to the Bristol City fan who did wanker signs at us for the full 90 minutes, I don’t know if you’re employed by the club but I have to applaud your commitment to the bit. Superb

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Elis James

@elisjames

1 year

Here it is, a thousand words that could easily have been ten times that. Gareth Bale took us to places we’d never been before, and was that rare thing: a global superstar who was totally synonymous with Wales.

Gareth Bale was an inspirational, generational talent. And he was ours | Elis James

Wales is a country that often feels sidelined, but he became an ambassador that couldn’t be ignored

www.theguardian.com

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Elis James

@elisjames

3 years

Wales v Denmark in Amsterdam on Saturday. I can’t believe we’re now globally recognised as the bad guys

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Elis James

@elisjames

3 years

Perfect, perfect. France 3 Wales 0. We ended our preparations for Euro 2016 by losing 3-0 to Sweden. This is all going according to plan

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Elis James

@elisjames

4 years

So did I

The Mirror

@DailyMirror

6 years

Princess Charlotte already speaks two languages at just two-years-old

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Elis James

@elisjames

5 months

Saw John’s show at the Apollo tonight. It’s extraordinary. The last few shows he’s written (especially The Darkness of Robins onwards) have changed the game really. He’s world class.

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Elis James

@elisjames

3 years

Had the pleasure of interviewing @therealMickeyT today, and we had a kickabout afterwards. He said ‘you’ve got a good first touch, but I can always tell how good a player is from their attempt at the crossbar challenge.’ Well, well, well...

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Elis James

@elisjames

2 years

Just taken my daughter to her drum lesson. Wore a Velvet Underground t-shirt to show the teacher ‘that I’m pretty into music myself, actually’

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Elis James

@elisjames

10 months

My daughter’s a bit worried about going in to year 4. As I tried to reassure her by talking about the worries I remembered from going into year 4, she interrupted by saying ‘YES BUT YOU’RE FROM THE EIGHTIES. AND IN THE EIGHTIES THINGS JUST SEEMED TO WORK THEMSELVES OUT’

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Elis James

@elisjames

4 years

I have never admired a footballer in the way I admire Marcus Rashford. What a man

BBC Breakfast

@BBCBreakfast

4 years

Footballer @MarcusRashford has visited a new foodbank depot named after his mother, Melanie Maynard. He gave #BBCBreakfast his reaction to the recent government rejection of his campaign for free school meals to be extended over the holidays in England.

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Elis James

@elisjames

2 years

Running for a train. I’m wearing trainers, & I don’t have a bag - the conditions are perfect. I regret to inform you that at 41 the famous turn of pace that got me out of so many sticky situations, has gone. I’ve had a great career & hope to leave the house earlier from now on

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Elis James

@elisjames

4 years

Two shows at the Lyric in Carmarthen tonight. Over 700 punters. Bit odd actually, considering Welsh is a dead language.

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Elis James

@elisjames

1 year

I must have watched this 60-70 times now

Politics For You

@PoliticoForYou

1 year

BREAKING 🚨🚨🚨 The GB News alternative Match of the Day was better than any parody we could have come up with.

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Elis James

@elisjames

3 years

Fair play, this is huge

Swansea City AFC

@SwansOfficial

3 years

@elisjames Happy Birthday Elis 🥳🙌

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Elis James

@elisjames

5 years

Had a couple of pints. Gone for a Chinese with Robins. I fucking love the guy

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Elis James

@elisjames

2 years

Netherlands 2 Wales 2 after 92mins (Bale). Netherlands 3 Wales 2 after 93mins (Depay). I think I’ll pop the old top back on actually. All the best, take care, God bless, tara

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Elis James

@elisjames

5 years

Just held my three week old son in my arms and thought ‘one day, he’ll probably lose his job to an algorithm’

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Elis James

@elisjames

4 years

I just told my 6yr old daughter that when I was her age we did PE lessons in the pants and vest we happened to be wearing that day, and she was quite simply stunned

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Elis James

@elisjames

3 years

If I wasn’t into football I would get into football and then I’d be delighted I’d got into football

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Elis James

@elisjames

3 years

It was a genuine dream come true to make a documentary about the history of Welsh football. And a rare alignment between BBC Wales commissioning policy and my #brand

BBC Wales 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

@BBCWales

3 years

In a brand new series, comedian, presenter and lifelong football fan @elisjames looks at the highs and lows of Welsh footballing history. Elis James: Football Nation Monday, 10.45pm - BBC One Wales

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Elis James

@elisjames

2 years

Game one of Project 2022 (play as much football as possible) over - making up the numbers for the dads at @robbeckettcomic ’s daughter’s school. Playing again on Tuesday, I should have sat deep, dictated the tempo, but I played up front BECAUSE I AM AN ADDICT AND GOALS ARE MY FIX

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Elis James

@elisjames

3 years

London can be so beautiful at this time of year

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Elis James

@elisjames

4 years

Isy has started doing stand up again. She has just dropped the bombshell that her new material is basically ‘all observational stuff’ about me

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Elis James

@elisjames

5 years

Just told my 7 week old son that if he falls asleep within the next 10 seconds I’ll give him £4,000 in cash, and he’s not interested. Beginning to worry he’s thick.

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Elis James

@elisjames

2 years

25 years after seeing @Tim_Burgess wear it in The Charlatans video for How High, I finally have the jacket I looked for so much as a teenager. @hikerdelic have done a great job

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Elis James

@elisjames

5 years

I just put my daughter’s hair in a (very basic) ponytail and my amazed dad has started referring to me as ‘Vidal Sassoon’

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Elis James

@elisjames

3 years

Looking for squirrels in the park. A nice couple came up to me and said ‘if your daughter wants to see rats instead, there’s a few under that bush over there’ and I thought ‘what a lovely London story’

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Elis James

@elisjames

3 years

If I were an Italian footballer, I can’t work out if I’d prefer to be a no-nonsense hard man defender or a flamboyant number 10 who weeps when he scores

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Elis James

@elisjames

10 months

Honoured and humbled to made an Honorary Fellow of my alma mater Cardiff University, and thrilled to speak at today’s graduation ceremony. Well done the class of 2023! Congratulations! You did it! It was also great being there with my mum. Diolch enfawr i fy rhieni