Elie Mystal @ElieNYC Twitter profile

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Elie Mystal

10 months

Hello friends. So, here at @thenation I've been working on a new podcast. It's called Contempt of Court and it will be a limited series where I talk about Supreme Court reform. The theory and politics behind each major aspect out there Here's the teaser EP

Welcome to “Contempt of Court”!

On this new podcast series, I’ll look at ways to make the Supreme Court stop hurting us.

www.thenation.com

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Last Seen Profiles

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 months

Alabama: Embryos are babies. Me: Oh, so we can't deport mothers carrying American citizens. Alabama: Wait. Me: Also dudes are on the hook for child support nine months earlier. Alabama: No. Not like that!

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

To recap: Police claim they shoot unarmed black children because they "fear for their lives" but police also claim they do not shoot armed gunmen killing children because they "fear for their lives."

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

People kept saying that Volodymyr Zelensky is in over his head but all I see is a courageous man who is willing to risk his life for his people.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

3 years

How come @BetoORourke and @AOC work to raise money for struggling Texans, many of whom didn't vote for Beto and think AOC is a she-witch, doesn't count as a UNITY story? How come the media isn't spinning it that way? How come "unity" can only mean "giving the GOP what it wants"?

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

[Checking my kid in for a blood test] Receptionist [putting him into the system]: Religion? Me: He doesn't have one. Receptionist: Really? Me: He's 7. Receptionist: What's yours? Me: Ma'am? Receptionist: It has a field here for.. Me: Put down "Minecraft."

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

4 years

The thing I'm honestly looking forward to in a @JoeBiden Presidency is the opportunity to go 48 consecutive business hours without noticing the President of the United States.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

3 years

* Dems win power. * Moderate Dems refuse to let Dems use power. * Dems lose power. * Moderate Dems blame progressives for being too radical. * ad infinitum We are at step 2 of the cycle.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

4 years

Lost in the abortion ruling... @SenatorCollins said that Brett Kavanaugh would "follow precedent" when it came to abortion rights, but today JOHN ROBERTS followed precedent, explicitly so, and Kavanaugh DID NOT. Never forget that Susan Collins lied to you about Kavanaugh.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

4 years

My 7yo is doing a math worksheet and it's telling him that the eraser (37 cents) costs more than the pencil (18 cents) and he's OUTRAGED. "If you're poor and you can't afford the eraser, you can't correct your mistakes. BUT IF YOU'RE RICH you can erase ALL your mistakes."

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

So... the first lawsuit I'd like to see is from a Jewish woman who has access to an abortion provider denied in a Christian Theocracy state sue that the Christian rules inhibit her religious freedom under the free exercise clause of the 1st Amendment.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

People surprised about white people freaking out over a black mermaid seem to forget that white folks freaked out so hard about a black President they elected a clown fascist from TV who promised to build a wall to keep out brown folks.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

I want everybody to remember that the Supreme Court has said the government doesn't have the authority to make people wear a mask when it later says it *does* have the authority to force women to give birth against their will.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

4 years

It’s normal to just start randomly weeping when Barack Obama is talking, right?

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

White people freaking out over Lizzo playing a slaver’s flute is my favorite Twitter right now.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

Remember folks, Mitch McConnell and the Senate Republicans tried to block this investigation from ever happening.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

3 years

It’s really amazing that we, as a nation, are too stupid to get rid of Covid. That’s really the thing holding us back. Too many of us are dumb.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

I've spent a lot of money over the past 10 years especially finally paying off my college debts. And yet I don't begrudge people who may have their college loans cancelled because I'M NOT A SICK FUCK WHO DEFINES MY SELF WORTH THROUGH THE CONTINUED SUFFERING OF OTHERS.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

Biden: "He's not just a former President, he's a defeated President." -- I'm gonna need this on a lawn sign.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

My stomach is actually upset. I'm so angry. I honestly don't know what I can do as just a single voter to make the people I vote for ACTUALLY FIGHT these fucking Republicans. It's goddamn soul crushing sometimes.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

Ted Cruz is proving a point I made in my article. When places like Martha’s Vineyard prove they can be compassionate to immigrants, the fascists will just try to ship humans to to somewhere else. Because the point isn’t to *solve* a problem, it’s to make one.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

1 year

Off air. I'm going to take a break for Twitter for a bit. In some sad news at 4:00 today my dog was killed. She was waiting for my kids to come home, by the door as always. But while they were debussing we went out to give the bus driver a bag of Halloween candy. The dog bolted..

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

3 years

To recap: right now in Texas people CAN sue you for seeking abortion services, but the state CANNOT ask you if you have a gun.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

3 years

This, in Texas, from a high school student, shows more courage than 85% of our elected leaders.

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@littlewhitty

3 years

In Texas, Lake Highlands High School valedictorian, Paxton Smith, switched out her approved speech to talk about abortion rights.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

1 year

Dems hanging onto the Senate in this environment is one of the most remarkable political stories. And it’s largely thanks to voters under 30, women, and black voters. Remember that when the media unleashes a *wave* of old, white, ossified men to tell you what to think.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

3 years

Pundits: You should run for Senate. Stacey Abrams: I have a better idea. Pundits: What? Abrams: I'm going to win the whole fucking thing.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

4 years

Wow. 23 years for Weinstein. Judge said "This is your first conviction, but not your first offense."

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

I will vote for Democrats, then criticize Democrats when they suck, then vote for them again, in a little maneuver I call “BEING CAPABLE OF UNDERSTANDING MULTIPLE FUCKING TRUTHS AT THE SAME GODDAMN TIME.”

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

Gorsuch: "the flu kills hundreds of thousands of people every year" NO IT DOES NOT. STOP GETTING YOUR MEDICAL STATS FROM FOX NEWS.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

Sarah Palin, who in many ways started this inane madness, lost. That’s enough of a victory for today.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

I'm going to cry. The shit that this country is comfortable allowing to happen to black folks simply for TRYING to participate in the Republic.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

1 year

Tennessee for real just expelled the two Black guys but not the white woman. Man folks. Man. They just went out there and straight up did the racism.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

There is NO WAY the Uvalde police would have let me storm an elementary school and teach the 1619 Project for an hour

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

Please stop calling Lindsey Graham's National Abortion Ban a "late term" abortion ban just because that's what he calls it. He's lying about what it is. YOU DON'T HAVE TO REPEAT LIARS JUST BECAUSE THEY WANT YOU TO, media people.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

Can we circle back for a second to the fact that Jared Kushner's answer, UNDER OATH, is that he didn't pay attention to the lawyers saying that his father in law was trying to steal an election because he was busy trying to get pardons for political cronies.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

I know that this is going to be lost on a lot of white people and almost all white Republicans. But when you see Booker or Padilla getting emotional... I just don't think y'all know how *hard* it is. For us. To get her.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

1 year

You ever leave a job and secretly hope everything will fall apart once you're gone? Nancy Pelosi is living your dream.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

In case you're wondering when today was "lost," it was in 2016 when Mitch McConnell decided to steal a Supreme Court seat and people let him get away with it.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

Just imagine if Will Smith had gotten up to hit Chris Rock and then the camera had cut out and didn't come back until Will won the Oscar and he gave the same speech. You'd want someone to investigate the missing tape, right? NOW IMAGINE WILL SMITH WAS LAUNCHING A COUP

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

1 year

Might come a time when I disappear (or am disappeared) from Elon Musk's Twitter. But right now, we're all just heartbroken. I'll see you guys on the other side.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

1 year

Democrats voting against adjournment so McCarthy can lose some more is cold blooded.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

3 years

"I DON'T REMEMBER ASKING YOU A GODDAMN THING, JIM COMEY." -- signed, everybody

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

3 years

I actually think that the fact that Republicans were trying to CALL TRUMP is some of the best evidence that even Republicans know whose fault this is.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

4 months

What voting looks like when white people know only white people will be allowed to cast ballots.

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@JasonWhitely

4 months

CANDIDATE SPEECHES over at this site for the #IowaCaucus in West Des Moines. Voters jotted their candidate on sheet of paper before they were all collected in a brown grocery bag.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

Somewhere, Mike Pence is sipping a strong milk and thinking that it’s worth it to stan for a man who tried to have him assassinated because, without Trump, women would have bodily autonomy.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

3 years

Biden letting Harris talk first is pretty awesome.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

10 months

I'm writing...about... A FAKE CASE. IT'S INSANE. THERE IS NO FACTUAL RECORD TO DISCUSS BECAUSE THERE ARE NO FACTS. What the fuck kind of Supreme Court IS THIS?

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

4 years

Chris Wallace did not do a “great” interview. He did a basically competent interview that literally everybody should have done with him this ENTIRE time. It’s NOT HARD to call this corrupt liar on his bullshit.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

1 year

I peed my pants when they flashed that Boebert number. Please please please

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

I'm sorry everybody. Just remember... the conservatives always promised to do this. And all the people who told you we were "hysterical" were total liars.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

If any of James Madison's descendants is offended by Lizzo wants to try out the 200 year old Iron Collar white folks would affix to our ancestors who tried to escape James Madison's clutches, I'm sure somebody at the National Museum of African American History could hook you up.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

1 year

I told everybody, from the very beginning, that if the Dobbs leaker turned out to be a Republican, the Supreme Court would somehow never find who did it. Welp, the report's out and, what do you know, they don't know who did it.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

3 years

Wait... so... can we use a secret ballot for Impeachment? Cause... I think that's what cowards need in order to do the right thing.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

I see the papers have stories about Hunter Biden's laptop and Madison Cawthrone's orgies but nothing on the 7 hour gap because I guess we've moved on.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

1 year

I am now calling on @ABC to offer Kevin McCarthy his Dancing With The Stars contract NOW, so he can leave this fight with dignity.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

3 years

@LeaderMcConnell Merrick Garland, Noel Gorsuch, alleged attempted rapist Brett Kavanaugh, Amy Coney Barrett. The Earth has already been scorched, asshole, by you.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

I'm an educated, cosmopolitan man, but I can honestly say that I did not know, at all, how much I did not want to fuck with Ukrainians.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

Wait, did Liz Cheney say Trump *called a witness* and that it's been referred to the DOJ. Did this fool commit witness tampering THIS WEEK???

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

Cheney: Do you believe in the peaceful transfer of power? Flynn: Fifth What the fuck does that mean???

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

Republicans boo when Biden says *accurately* that the Republican tax cuts benefited the top 1 percent of Americans. I love how the GOP openly boos facts. #SOTU

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

1 year

Tennessee is giving a more abject lesson in Critical Race Theory than any AP History course possibly could.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

1 year

Some... driver... was trying to get around the stopped school bus, at speed. The driver hit my dog, instantly killing her, and kept right on going. My kids saw it all. I'll be filing a police report.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

Without the video this case is never even brought to trial. Without the love of a black parent, this case never goes to trial.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

I’ve played enough Legend of Zelda games to know that if you find an old flute you actually have to play it in order to right the wrongs of the past and continue on with your quest to save the world.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

Anyway... can we get back to a sitting Supreme Court justice trying to slap the shit out of democracy to defend his wife's text messages? (I am a professional lane-stayer-in)

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

1 year

People saying that Dems are going to get *tired* and leave to make McCarthy speaker really don't know about the recuperative powers of watching a guy who threw his hat in with people who came to your office to kill you suffer repeated humiliations.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 months

There is *nothing* you care about that survives a 6-3 Republican court for a generation. Nothing. I don’t know how many times the Court has to prove that to people before liberals unify and act.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

3 years

Literally every Black person who has ever protested right now: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? They're gonna let white people take over the Capitol but will shoot me to protect a fucking TARGET?

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

Tomorrow, for the first time in American history, a black woman will start the advice and consent process to sit on the Supreme Court. And Republicans will absolutely beclown themselves trying to stop her.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

4 years

Susan Collins yelled out "not true"? @SenSusanCollins ... WHO PASSED A DAMN NOTE TO THE CHIEF JUSTICE BECAUSE SHE WAS UPSET ABOUT DECORUM, shouted out in the middle of the trial when the DECORUM rules call for her to be silent on pain of imprisonment? #ImpeachmentTrial

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

Joe Manchin, who doesn't support women's rights, told reporters he doesn't support women's rights today, which was similar to when he said he didn't support women's rights back in February. More on this breaking story as it develops...

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

Dear Democrats, repeat after me: "Ketanji Brown Jackson will recuse herself when alleged attempted rapist Brett Kavanaugh recuses himself from women's autonomy cases, and Clarence Thomas recuses himself from insurrection cases, AND NOT ONE MOMENT BEFORE, you dripping hypocrites."

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

1 year

This Memphis video of the lynching of Tyre Nichols must be awful. Basically everybody who has seen it is like "Please don't riot when you see this like you probably should." I've never seen a reaction like that.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

3 months

Both Tom Cotton and I went to undergrad and law school at Harvard at roughly the same time... so hopefully that helps you understand why I react with near homicidal rage when someone tells me *I'm* the one who didn't get in on merit. I've been smarter than that kid my whole life.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

Congratulations to Ketanji Brown Jackson. I look forward to reading your dissents aloud to my cell block mates while sitting in DeSantis Jail-Powered By Chik-Fil-A, while doing my ten year stretch for wrongthink.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

4 years

My wife has spoken: “ @ewarren should stay in, cause it’s possible that both of these dudes will have a heart attack during their next debate.”

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

1 year

Hells yeah Nevada. APPOINT ALL THE JUDGES NOW!!!

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

3 years

Just so this point doesn't get lost, remember that Joe Biden has not (to my knowledge) HAD AN ABORTION. They bishops want to deny him communion because he thinks OTHER PEOPLE get to make their own decisions. They angry at Biden's HUMILITY of not imposing his views on others.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

1 year

Georgia. Don’t think I forgot about you. Do your thing and make Kyrsten Eli Lilly Phizer Penzoil Gatorade Sinema IRRELEVANT.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

4 years

White people have been protesting social distancing for weeks, with guns. Police always show restraint. Black people protest the murder of a man in the streets, and out comes the police tear gas and riot gear. This country is goddamn racist, in case you did not know.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

I assured my wife that I should be left alone to play video games because I had plenty of time to get the dry cleaning and now I’m here and the cleaners decided to close early today for a “family event” and I think I just shouldn’t bother going home and just walk into the ocean.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

3 years

What's messed up right now is that EVERYBODY KNOWS the literal world would be better off if Facebook just went away forever.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

10 months

I don't know what to tell you guys. We have to expand the Court. If we don't expand the Court, no liberal policy will be allowed to exist for the rest of our lives. That's why Republicans stole the court, that's why rich people pay for justices. Govern yourselves accordingly.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

How you gonna be involved in killing 300 dogs and only be the second most embarrassing Republican running for Senate today?

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

1 year

To recap this week's news: Donald Trump and Clarence Thomas were both accused of public corruption but it's okay because neither of them used a bullhorn so Tennessee expelled two black guys who want to stop the NRA from murdering children Texas forces people to give birth to.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

Dear any young black people watching MTG at home: please do not try any of this crap on your own. You are not a Republican white woman, you will not be allowed to perjure yourself without consequences, the judge will not give you the answers.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

All the "moderate" Dems who have spent the past year telling me progressives are ruining Joe Biden's agenda are gonna bring that smoke to Joe Manchin now, right?

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

3 years

I'm totally going to sue Ted Cruz for trying to abort an American election six weeks after it was conceived and certified.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

When you step back for a second, it’s amazing that the Supreme Court has just done away with the Voting Rights Act, a law so sacred Ronald Reagan and George Bush couldn’t oppose it, and most people are just okay with it.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

1 year

People noticing how quickly these black cops were charged (as opposed to their murderous white fellows in other situations) should also pay attention to how *silent* the police union has been on there behalf.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

3 years

Good job media... NOW DO MATT GAETZ

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

I'm sure all the people suddenly realizing that we've never had an Asian-American on the Court or an Indian-American on the court or a host of others will JOIN ME in calling for an EXPANDED Supreme Court which can more accurately reflect America. WELCOME to the fight!

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

5 years

White women: 76% Kemp 59% Cruz 51% DeSantis Black women: 95% O'Rourke 97% Abrahms 82% Gillum White women gonna white.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

Tomorrow would be a good day to expand the Supreme Court

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

Y'all media folks still gonna act like Trump Judge Cannon isn't a corrupt and biased individual, or are you going to join the rest of us in reality?

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

I see the high fences have gone up around the Supreme Court and I'm reminded that one of the *other* reasons the Court is so pissed about the leak was that their actual plan was to kill Roe v. Wade and then scurry out of town so they didn't have to deal with anybody.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

3 years

Nothing says "white man" quite like "I've been here for an hour and now know everything."

The Hill

@thehill

3 years

Rep. Matt Gaetz: "This is my first time in Wyoming. I've been here for about an hour and I feel like I already know the place a lot better than your misguided representative, Liz Cheney."

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

3 months

Kept her name out yo filthy mouth this time, didn’t you.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

Welp, time to wait for SCOTUS opinions again. I'll just say again that a country waiting for nine unelected, unaccountable people imbued with lifetime power to tell them what rights exist is a stupid way to run a republic.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

2 years

Ketanji Brown Jackson is supported by 2/3rds of a Americans but 0 Republicans on the Senate Judiciary Committee could be bothered to vote for her... YET FOR SOME REASON this won't trigger the Beltway press into a series of articles about how the @GOP is dangerously out of touch.

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Elie Mystal

@ElieNYC

1 year

On the (surprisingly high) chance this is my last tweet before this app goes dark, I just wanted to say to everybody who was *sure* I'd implode my career by simply telling the truth on this app, or tried to get me fired because of something correct I tweeted: Fuck you, I won. :)

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