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Jin Profile
Jin

@EdgarPoop1

14,843
Followers
3,521
Following
5,100
Media
88,956
Statuses

I’m joking

Door City
Joined May 2017
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@EdgarPoop1
Jin
5 months
Welcome to college. Here… have a heart attack
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
7 months
Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
5 months
You ever make yourself a meal so disappointing you get depressed eating it bc you know that shit was not made with love
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
6 months
Boy, I am really enjoying this sun today... I hope nothin' happens to it
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
2 years
I eat spicy food like my butthole owes me money.
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
3 months
I don't care what generation you're from as long as you shut the fuck up about it
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
4 months
Bless me father for I have sinned so fucking hard, oh my god, you should have seen that shit
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
2 years
I will never understand why married people insist on sleeping in the same bed together “Oh babe, I love you so much. Let’s be unconscious together and/or never get a good night’s sleep again”
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
2 years
Someone said, "Don't chase 'em. Replace 'em" and I've never heard better parenting advice in my life.
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
7 months
The problem is that to fall asleep, I have to pretend to sleep and that is sooooooo boring
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
2 years
How did New York City gaslight an entire nation into thinking their pizza is the golden standard?
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
3 months
Every man’s bedroom smells like they’re running a fart clinic
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
2 years
Mom: Have you tried the lemon squares? Me, joking: Nah, I’m allergic to shapes Mom, serious: It doesn’t look like you’re allergic to round
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
2 years
I sexually identify as the toaster you want to bathe with.
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
4 years
@isgoodrum Meanwhile 4 of the victims were Korean.
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
17 days
god made jasons and thought "I could do worse" and that's how justins were created
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
8 months
Your employer encourages “work/life balance” then expects you to be there 5 outta 7 days
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
7 months
Nobody puts embryo in a corner
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
7 months
Things that make me feel better than social media: 1. Folding a slice of bologna in half 2. Taking a bite of bologna 3. Unfolding the bologna and looking through the hole
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
2 years
I identify as whoever's credit card I just found
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
4 months
You should be allowed to come in late to work if you bring snacks for everyone
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
1 year
The hardest part of not knowing my real father is not being able to sleep with any Korean men 16 to 22 years older than me 😤
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
7 months
The location of your appliances can say a lot about you Fridge in the garage? We've got money Fridge on the front lawn? We've got missing teeth
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
2 years
Woke up on the couch with my hand down my pants like some middle-aged dad Gonna turn down my thermostat and… where did these New Balances come from?
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
2 years
“You’re only as old as you feel.” Me, feeling 300 yrs old: Yes, thank you. So inspiring.
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
1 year
Hacking my neighbor’s 3D printer to make a dildo so he can go fuck himself
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
1 year
Twitter is ouija for reaching people who are dead inside
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
2 years
Women who hate other women, May you always be alone when you run out of toilet paper
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
8 months
There should be a slur for people who exercise during their lunch break
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
2 years
The closest the human race has been to god is what we’ve done to the potato
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
9 months
Me, looking for an ounce of motivation
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
1 year
I'm not a morning person... or a night person. DEF not a people person Barely human, if I'm being honest
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
2 years
God, creating the platypus:
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
1 year
Who needs an alarm clock when you have anxiety?
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
2 years
I only share nudes on the off chance that person is a doctor and can spot a weird mole. Affordable healthcare, bb!
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
2 years
Lara Croft was hottest when her boobs were isosceles
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
1 year
*flirting* you have the sense of humour of a much shorter man
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
1 year
We like to vilify hot people, but it's important to know that people who aren't hot are also terrible.
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
2 years
What stage of grief is “horny”?
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
3 months
Girls be like “I’m hungry I should drink something”
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
3 years
Do not question my commitment to comedy.
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
2 years
Mom, White: When’re you gonna have kids? I just want a buncha lil’ Asian babies runnin’ around. Me, adopted: Then buy some more, Linda. This isn’t my responsibility!
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
5 months
how are all the women on twitter hot and funny af and the men are just different variations of thumbs
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
5 months
Salad is great for when you want to chew something incessantly, gnawing and gnashing away for 3 grams of water and some toots later
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
2 years
Being from the Midwest means my signature potluck dish will contain a tub of mayonnaise, a jar of jelly, and a block of Velveeta. And it will be called something like "Sexy Salad" to let you know I do not actually understand what sex or salad is.
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
22 days
@funeralpig Yes chef
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
1 year
There are simply not enough ways to consume mashed potatoes on the go for the modern woman
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
1 year
There is no try. There is only give up.
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
1 year
Pretty sure Jesus was penetrated more than I have been this year
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
1 year
There are two types of people in the world: The people who use the same thing for water over and over and the people who leave half empty waters around like they’re living in the movie Signs
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
5 months
Falling asleep to “lofi jazz beats vintage parents fighting in another room” for the nostalgia
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
6 months
A 5'7" man went missing this weekend They're searching "and low" for him
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
2 years
“You don’t have Facebook? How do you stalk people?” Me, in a tree with binoculars outside your window:
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
2 years
Cheat death by living. Cheat life by being dead inside.
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
11 months
Phone just autocorrected “Inspired” to “I spiraled” and it’s a little too on the nose
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
3 years
@richbutsad That’s not Ben and JLo. That’s Goofus and Gallant from Highlights magazine.
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
2 years
I ordered yellowcake for my birthday and now everyone’s vomiting and screaming about uranium.
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
2 years
Pro tip: When having sex, spit hot sauce in their eyes so you’re not the only one crying.
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
4 years
@isgoodrum Just to be clear, this isn't to separate Asians. This is a joke about how many people use and see all Asians as Chinese whether nefariously so or not. So sure, qt, guy.
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
3 years
When I meet people with the same name as me, I feel one part connected and triple parts like I need to fight them.
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
2 years
In the office. No cells allowed. Most sites blocked. No music. I feel like I'm in the town of Footloose.
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
1 year
Masturbating furiously until they put the lithium back in 7 Up!!!
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
2 years
"I wear the pants in this relationship!" I yell at my dog knowing full well neither of us ever actually wears pants.
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
5 months
Be the "shut the fuck up" you want to see in the world
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
1 year
“Wear something that leaves something to the imagination” Me: *nekkid* Imagine that I’m like, really funny
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
2 years
Fast X, but it’s only Richard Scarry Vehicles
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
2 years
I have made the right amount of pasta for one about 5 times in a row now and I don’t know whether to celebrate, cry, or get a cat
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
2 years
"I wish I knew how to quit you!" - me to my job
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
9 days
today was a day just like any other
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
2 years
I just sneezed like 12 times in a row. Is this sex?
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
1 year
Thinking about becoming a person who says, “that’s just the way the cookie crumbles” when anything goes slightly awry
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
2 years
A man once rage-told me the biggest threat to the state of NH was the "damn beavers". After his 10 min tantrum, I said, "Beavers?! Daaam." And this is why I have no friends.
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
2 years
Mom: You’ll never get a husband being such a tomboy! Me: I’m grown up, Mom. I’m a tomMAN now! Tom. MAN!
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
2 years
The next National Treasure movie finna SLAP
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
1 year
Don’t make a pass at me. Hit me straight on. With your car. Until my life insurance kicks in.
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
3 years
Me (joking): Do I have to buy iPhones 1-12 in order to get the iPhone 13? Apple: Yes.
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
2 years
S \ S \ S / H / H / H \ I \ I / T / ! *me, running away from an alligator
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
4 months
Im NoT bLeSsInG yOu AfTeR mUlTiPlE sNeEzEs don’t bless me at all, pope gregory damn
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
2 years
Devil on my shoulder: Eat that entire bucket of chicken Devil on my other shoulder: But peel the skin off and wear it on your face first
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
1 year
I will argue with you until I run out of stupid and boy, do I got a lot of stupid in me
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
1 year
*holding my butt cheeks open* Dentist: It’s not that kind of cavity search
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
1 year
What does one wear to a rural high school reunion being held in an open field on a rainy day?
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
2 years
Peter Parker at Uncle Ben's funeral: *whispers* I always preferred Zatarain's
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
1 year
Please stop pooping. Your family misses you. 🥺
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
1 year
Any body can be a summer body if it’s discovered between the months of June and September
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
10 months
real baddies lived with their grandma at some point
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
3 months
meeting a woman the old-fashioned way... stumbling upon her in the woods bathing nude in a natural spring
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
1 year
To the Audi hogging the road: Sir, money means nothing to me. I will turn your Audi into an innie real quick!
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
1 year
Demanding that people “feel my leg” today… I didn’t shave. I just need to feel the touch of another human 😭
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
6 months
Today’s church service is the MILF sundress season opener
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
1 year
Microdosing abandonment issues by making friends on an app where they can literally just delete me out of their existence.
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@EdgarPoop1
Jin
6 months
Must feel good for a lock to get picked
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