Jin @EdgarPoop1 Twitter profile

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

5 months

Welcome to college. Here… have a heart attack

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@EdgarPoop1

7 months

Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

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@EdgarPoop1

5 months

You ever make yourself a meal so disappointing you get depressed eating it bc you know that shit was not made with love

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@EdgarPoop1

6 months

Boy, I am really enjoying this sun today... I hope nothin' happens to it

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@EdgarPoop1

2 years

I eat spicy food like my butthole owes me money.

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@EdgarPoop1

3 months

I don't care what generation you're from as long as you shut the fuck up about it

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@EdgarPoop1

4 months

Bless me father for I have sinned so fucking hard, oh my god, you should have seen that shit

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

2 years

I will never understand why married people insist on sleeping in the same bed together “Oh babe, I love you so much. Let’s be unconscious together and/or never get a good night’s sleep again”

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@EdgarPoop1

2 years

Someone said, "Don't chase 'em. Replace 'em" and I've never heard better parenting advice in my life.

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@EdgarPoop1

7 months

The problem is that to fall asleep, I have to pretend to sleep and that is sooooooo boring

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@EdgarPoop1

2 years

How did New York City gaslight an entire nation into thinking their pizza is the golden standard?

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@EdgarPoop1

3 months

Every man’s bedroom smells like they’re running a fart clinic

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@EdgarPoop1

2 years

Mom: Have you tried the lemon squares? Me, joking: Nah, I’m allergic to shapes Mom, serious: It doesn’t look like you’re allergic to round

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

2 years

I sexually identify as the toaster you want to bathe with.

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@EdgarPoop1

4 years

@isgoodrum Meanwhile 4 of the victims were Korean.

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

17 days

god made jasons and thought "I could do worse" and that's how justins were created

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

8 months

Your employer encourages “work/life balance” then expects you to be there 5 outta 7 days

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

7 months

Nobody puts embryo in a corner

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

7 months

Things that make me feel better than social media: 1. Folding a slice of bologna in half 2. Taking a bite of bologna 3. Unfolding the bologna and looking through the hole

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

2 years

I identify as whoever's credit card I just found

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

4 months

You should be allowed to come in late to work if you bring snacks for everyone

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

1 year

The hardest part of not knowing my real father is not being able to sleep with any Korean men 16 to 22 years older than me 😤

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

7 months

The location of your appliances can say a lot about you Fridge in the garage? We've got money Fridge on the front lawn? We've got missing teeth

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

2 years

Woke up on the couch with my hand down my pants like some middle-aged dad Gonna turn down my thermostat and… where did these New Balances come from?

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

2 years

“You’re only as old as you feel.” Me, feeling 300 yrs old: Yes, thank you. So inspiring.

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

1 year

Hacking my neighbor’s 3D printer to make a dildo so he can go fuck himself

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

1 year

Twitter is ouija for reaching people who are dead inside

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

2 years

Women who hate other women, May you always be alone when you run out of toilet paper

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

8 months

There should be a slur for people who exercise during their lunch break

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

2 years

The closest the human race has been to god is what we’ve done to the potato

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@EdgarPoop1

9 months

Me, looking for an ounce of motivation

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@EdgarPoop1

1 year

I'm not a morning person... or a night person. DEF not a people person Barely human, if I'm being honest

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

2 years

God, creating the platypus:

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

1 year

Who needs an alarm clock when you have anxiety?

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

2 years

I only share nudes on the off chance that person is a doctor and can spot a weird mole. Affordable healthcare, bb!

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

2 years

Lara Croft was hottest when her boobs were isosceles

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

1 year

*flirting* you have the sense of humour of a much shorter man

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

1 year

We like to vilify hot people, but it's important to know that people who aren't hot are also terrible.

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@EdgarPoop1

2 years

What stage of grief is “horny”?

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

3 months

Girls be like “I’m hungry I should drink something”

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

3 years

Do not question my commitment to comedy.

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

2 years

Mom, White: When’re you gonna have kids? I just want a buncha lil’ Asian babies runnin’ around. Me, adopted: Then buy some more, Linda. This isn’t my responsibility!

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

5 months

how are all the women on twitter hot and funny af and the men are just different variations of thumbs

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

5 months

Salad is great for when you want to chew something incessantly, gnawing and gnashing away for 3 grams of water and some toots later

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

2 years

Being from the Midwest means my signature potluck dish will contain a tub of mayonnaise, a jar of jelly, and a block of Velveeta. And it will be called something like "Sexy Salad" to let you know I do not actually understand what sex or salad is.

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

22 days

@funeralpig Yes chef

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

1 year

There are simply not enough ways to consume mashed potatoes on the go for the modern woman

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

1 year

There is no try. There is only give up.

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

1 year

Pretty sure Jesus was penetrated more than I have been this year

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

1 year

There are two types of people in the world: The people who use the same thing for water over and over and the people who leave half empty waters around like they’re living in the movie Signs

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

5 months

Falling asleep to “lofi jazz beats vintage parents fighting in another room” for the nostalgia

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

6 months

A 5'7" man went missing this weekend They're searching "and low" for him

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@EdgarPoop1

2 years

“You don’t have Facebook? How do you stalk people?” Me, in a tree with binoculars outside your window:

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@EdgarPoop1

2 years

Cheat death by living. Cheat life by being dead inside.

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

11 months

Phone just autocorrected “Inspired” to “I spiraled” and it’s a little too on the nose

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

3 years

@richbutsad That’s not Ben and JLo. That’s Goofus and Gallant from Highlights magazine.

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

2 years

I ordered yellowcake for my birthday and now everyone’s vomiting and screaming about uranium.

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

2 years

Pro tip: When having sex, spit hot sauce in their eyes so you’re not the only one crying.

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

4 years

@isgoodrum Just to be clear, this isn't to separate Asians. This is a joke about how many people use and see all Asians as Chinese whether nefariously so or not. So sure, qt, guy.

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

3 years

When I meet people with the same name as me, I feel one part connected and triple parts like I need to fight them.

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

2 years

In the office. No cells allowed. Most sites blocked. No music. I feel like I'm in the town of Footloose.

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

1 year

Masturbating furiously until they put the lithium back in 7 Up!!!

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

2 years

"I wear the pants in this relationship!" I yell at my dog knowing full well neither of us ever actually wears pants.

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@EdgarPoop1

5 months

Be the "shut the fuck up" you want to see in the world

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@EdgarPoop1

1 year

“Wear something that leaves something to the imagination” Me: *nekkid* Imagine that I’m like, really funny

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@EdgarPoop1

2 years

Fast X, but it’s only Richard Scarry Vehicles

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

2 years

I have made the right amount of pasta for one about 5 times in a row now and I don’t know whether to celebrate, cry, or get a cat

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

2 years

"I wish I knew how to quit you!" - me to my job

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

9 days

today was a day just like any other

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

2 years

I just sneezed like 12 times in a row. Is this sex?

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@EdgarPoop1

1 year

Thinking about becoming a person who says, “that’s just the way the cookie crumbles” when anything goes slightly awry

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

2 years

A man once rage-told me the biggest threat to the state of NH was the "damn beavers". After his 10 min tantrum, I said, "Beavers?! Daaam." And this is why I have no friends.

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

2 years

Mom: You’ll never get a husband being such a tomboy! Me: I’m grown up, Mom. I’m a tomMAN now! Tom. MAN!

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

2 years

The next National Treasure movie finna SLAP

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

1 year

Don’t make a pass at me. Hit me straight on. With your car. Until my life insurance kicks in.

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

3 years

Me (joking): Do I have to buy iPhones 1-12 in order to get the iPhone 13? Apple: Yes.

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

2 years

S \ S \ S / H / H / H \ I \ I / T / ! *me, running away from an alligator

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

4 months

Im NoT bLeSsInG yOu AfTeR mUlTiPlE sNeEzEs don’t bless me at all, pope gregory damn

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

2 years

Devil on my shoulder: Eat that entire bucket of chicken Devil on my other shoulder: But peel the skin off and wear it on your face first

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

1 year

I will argue with you until I run out of stupid and boy, do I got a lot of stupid in me

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

1 year

*holding my butt cheeks open* Dentist: It’s not that kind of cavity search

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

1 year

What does one wear to a rural high school reunion being held in an open field on a rainy day?

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@EdgarPoop1

2 years

Peter Parker at Uncle Ben's funeral: *whispers* I always preferred Zatarain's

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

1 year

Please stop pooping. Your family misses you. 🥺

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

1 year

Any body can be a summer body if it’s discovered between the months of June and September

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

10 months

real baddies lived with their grandma at some point

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

3 months

meeting a woman the old-fashioned way... stumbling upon her in the woods bathing nude in a natural spring

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

1 year

To the Audi hogging the road: Sir, money means nothing to me. I will turn your Audi into an innie real quick!

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

1 year

Demanding that people “feel my leg” today… I didn’t shave. I just need to feel the touch of another human 😭

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

6 months

Today’s church service is the MILF sundress season opener

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Jin

@EdgarPoop1

1 year

Microdosing abandonment issues by making friends on an app where they can literally just delete me out of their existence.

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@EdgarPoop1

6 months

Must feel good for a lock to get picked

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