StressieBessie @EPrecipice Twitter profile | Pikagi

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StressieBessie

@EPrecipice

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eyes on the fries (she/her)

Joined July 2014

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@EPrecipice

StressieBessie

2 years

When talking about our agendas for the day, I told my 5yo I was a little nervous about a meeting I have today. He said, “Mama, I am nervous all the time. I know what to do.” So friends, here is all the advice he could fit into the drive to school:

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@EPrecipice

StressieBessie

2 years

1. “You gotta say your affirmations in your mouth and your heart. You say, ‘I am brave of this meeting!’ , ‘I am loved!’, ‘I smell good!’ And you can say five or three or ten until you know it.”

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StressieBessie

2 years

4. “Think about the donuts of your day! Even if you cry a little, you can think about potato chips!”

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StressieBessie

2 years

Extra addition from this afternoon: “Don’t get distracted and your feet will stay on the sidewalk and not too full of snow.”

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StressieBessie

2 years

6. “Even if it’s a yucky day, you can get a hug.”

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StressieBessie

2 years

2. “You gotta walk big. You gotta mean it. Like Dolly on a dinosaur. Because you got it.”

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StressieBessie

2 years

3. “Never put a skunk on a bus.”

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StressieBessie

2 years

5. “You gotta take a deep breath and you gotta do it again.”

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StressieBessie

2 years

@Jboid61 @BarsottiKlb He’s the only life coach I know who accepts payment in goldfish crackers

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@EPrecipice

StressieBessie

6 months

Took me 30 years to figure out how to do this, but I actually had a holiday that restored me. And I figured out that me actually structuring the day to make it a holiday fit ME, didn’t detract from anyone else. Nobody else had anything negative to say. 🧵

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StressieBessie

2 years

@jiinsher @designmom Like I know grammatically it’s a little wonky, but I’m never going to stop saying “brave of this” 😂

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@EPrecipice

StressieBessie

2 years

@electroweak My son thought that’s how the phrase went when he was 3 and we have kept saying it that way since 😂

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@EPrecipice

StressieBessie

6 months

I need to remember this next year. I know it will take me a minute to remember, but I need to keep it in mind that all my son wants for Christmas is me on the couch saying “Wow,” at every toy, “Sure, baby,” to every snack request, and “I love you,” in between.

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StressieBessie

7 months

My grandfather bought these light-up Christmas tree earrings last year, and he passed away the following June. I got them out to wear to the Christmas Parade tonight, saddened that they no longer lit up, missing Grampa. And then…

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StressieBessie

3 months

My child: I like this. Me: What do you mean? Him: I like this. You and me. Just two dudes gossiping and walking to the post office because we are friends but also we do errands.

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@EPrecipice

StressieBessie

6 months

We had a couple gifts for our son, a stocking for each of us, and not much more. Did anybody say anything about that? Not a damn peep. My son told me he was the luckiest boy in the world. My husband fell asleep after saying, “We have a happy family, don’t we?”

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@EPrecipice

StressieBessie

6 months

So we snacked all day. You want pizza rolls? Hell yeah you can have pizza rolls. You want to dump out the contents of your stocking and eat candy for breakfast? LIVE YOUR DREAMS, BABY

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StressieBessie

6 months

I am not sitting in that damn kitchen all day doing dishes and swearing under my breath feeling exhausted. Nope. I am on that damn couch just as much as anybody else. Mama is NAPPING. Put on your stories. Video game time. Play with something.

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StressieBessie

2 years

@MannyE16 @ctmurphy1 I know, right? He’s had such a hard, anxious time this year, but it’s obvious he’s working on coping mechanisms that I hope he will keep long-term!

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StressieBessie

6 months

I didn’t have to participate in any level of mom martyrdom to make my family happy. In fact, they were HAPPIER with me relaxed and lazy and not broke instead of working my ass off to “create magic” and panic about money.

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StressieBessie

2 years

@NeonPinkToes He’s had a lot of trouble transitioning to kindergarten, so we started doing affirmations in the car every morning before school 😊

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StressieBessie

6 months

I have discovered in my years of being a SAHM that I hate cooking. I thought I loved it because I was good at it, but guess what? It’s half my job. And I’m not doing my job on Christmas. There are no magical labor-intensive Christmas recipes. Nope.

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StressieBessie

7 months

I looked in the box, and I saw that he had packed in three years worth of little batteries for them underneath everything. Always delightfully whimsical, even in his practicality ❤️

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StressieBessie

2 years

@NanceLeeM @clhubes This is why my favorite toddler game was “coma patient”, and my son got to play doctor 😂

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StressieBessie

2 years

@ServoAcademy @PepperJess Omg thinking about my kid as a tiny Dale Cooper made my whole day

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StressieBessie

7 months

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StressieBessie

1 year

Hearing my child consoling his stuffed animals in his room: “I’m sorry we lost our video game privileges. But you know, there’s always more chances. Tomorrow we have another chance. Every day is a chance. Mama always gives us another chance.”

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StressieBessie

1 year

My partner asked my son to “put his game face on” and my son responds with the biggest, purest smile. I ask him what he’s doing and he says, confused, “This is the face I make when I play games with Dad because I love games??”

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@EPrecipice

StressieBessie

7 months

@grovymango Can confirm!!

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StressieBessie

2 years

@Judeegee @KevinMKruse Yeah I’m not really sure where he was going with that but it’s probably a good plan

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StressieBessie

2 years

I was not an excellent mom today. Anybody else have the fear that every time you fuck up it becomes one of your kids core memories like in Inside Out and then you cry a lot?

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StressieBessie

2 years

Hello my life coach is making me dinner and singing me Dolly Parton songs at a level that will make me apologize to my neighbors tomorrow be jealous

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StressieBessie

11 months

At what point do children move from “wow mom makes me clean an unreasonable amount” to “maybe if I didn’t put so much toothpaste on the counter I would have less to clean up”

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StressieBessie

6 months

Me: Um… I asked you to get dressed 20 minutes ago. Did you? 7: well no but I did use my microscope instead

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StressieBessie

2 years

6 woke me up and as I laid down next to him while he drifted back to sleep he said, “I have to tell you what we’re gonna do tomorrow. I’m gonna wake up and eat coffee cake and do my homework and play video games with you and put on my Patsy Cline record and have a tea party, ok?”

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@EPrecipice

StressieBessie

1 year

Ok so hypothetically if it’s been YEARS since I’ve had a primary doctor and I want to be a big girl and actually make an appointment, what’s the best way to say, “I know you are overworked and only have 15 minutes but every check engine light has been on in my body since 2017”

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@EPrecipice

StressieBessie

2 years

@BoomerSooner697 Hell yeah! Everyone should think about the donuts of their day!

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@EPrecipice

StressieBessie

2 months

For the last couple holidays, my son has started to ask for cooking things (cookbooks, whisk, apron) and now I’m thinking maybe it would be cool to start a box of things that he can take to his first kitchen when he moves out. What do you wish you’d had in your first kitchen?

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StressieBessie

2 years

My child just told me we should play Animal Crossing and eat grilled cheese for dinner and I was like damn I have no reason we can’t do that, Mr. Life Coach

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StressieBessie

2 years

After the second huge tantrum of the day, my partner asked 5 if he wanted to go on a Dad Trip to the store. I asked him, “What do we need from the store?” And he said, “I don’t know yet, but I’m gonna find it and buy you 30 minutes of silence.” CORRECT ANSWER

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StressieBessie

1 year

@RacingKate My great grandmother went on a date with F. Scott Fitzgerald (she was in the same high school class as Zelda Sayre) and said at one point that he was “boring” and “spouted too much poetry”. In my family’s remembrances of her, she is always referred to as “The Pistol”.

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StressieBessie

5 months

I asked my kid if he was ok and he responded by making this rotating hand motion in front of him. I asked what that was about and he said, “That’s me holding a stick and roasting a marshmallow.” Still confused, I ask for clarification, and he says, “Because I’m a happy camper!”

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StressieBessie

4 months

Apparently my child was still under the impression that war was an ancient thing that doesn’t happen anymore? Boy he was disappointed in grownups when I had to explain that it’s something that is happening right now. “But we have telephones now? We could use our words?”

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@EPrecipice

StressieBessie

3 years

@wtflanksteak Not quite a baby anymore 😢

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StressieBessie

6 months

Got his first guitar today. He’s sort of vaguely softly strumming and humming the Count Your Blessings song from White Christmas. Sometimes I can’t believe how old he is, while he’s also a little boy in Santa pajamas.

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StressieBessie

3 years

@Oddmomout1 @ChristineVinard My father told me I was the size of a minivan while I was pregnant and I was like dude you and I are the same size right now??? Where do men get the audacity??

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StressieBessie

8 months

I woke up to find my child drawing broken hearts all over himself in pen. I asked him why he was doing that, and he said “My heart is so sad because you didn’t feed me yet.” It was 6:22 am.

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StressieBessie

9 months

@clhubes A friend of mine got married when her son was like 4 or 5 and he refused to be the ring bearer because “they don’t get to chuck anything”, so he got to be a flower boy instead 😂

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@EPrecipice

StressieBessie

1 year

@LOOKSBYEBONY This is the only photo I have from a dance in high school. They hosted it at a children’s museum so of course I had to take my picture in the mirror tunnel lol

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@EPrecipice

StressieBessie

1 year

The woman ahead of in line at the supermarket me has the strangest cart ever. Ten pounds flour, ten packages of mushrooms, nine large jars of sauerkraut, and a container of sour cream??? Girl what are you making??

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StressieBessie

4 months

I knit this little crown for my son to wear three years ago for his birthday, and I love that it continues to be casual wear around the house

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@EPrecipice

StressieBessie

2 years

Also if there are any artists out there who want a random doodle prompt, Dolly Parton on a dinosaur is the best one I can think of

@EPrecipice

StressieBessie

2 years

2. “You gotta walk big. You gotta mean it. Like Dolly on a dinosaur. Because you got it.”

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StressieBessie

1 year

We did it!

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StressieBessie

2 years

I love listening to my child narrate everything he does. Walking through the forest, he gasps, “Oh! Moss!” And kneels down and gives it a reverent pat, “So soft! Good job!”

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StressieBessie

1 month

It has been such a fight to get my son to clean anything, but this morning, I took his tiny face in my hands and said, “I swear to heaven if we get your room clean we will eat an entire pack of bacon in front of an X-Files marathon for dinner” and by god he is actually cleaning

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StressieBessie

11 months

My grandfather gave me these dogwood earrings when I got engaged, with the promise of a necklace to wear at my wedding. I had given up hope that he had actually gotten around to having it made. But today, while cleaning out his desk, my aunt found it in the very back of a drawer!

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StressieBessie

7 months

On our way out of the pediatrician’s office, 7 yells, “GOODBYE DOCTOR IT IS TIME FOR ME TO GO EAT A BIG OL COOKIE” and the entire office congratulated him 😂

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StressieBessie

2 years

Is there anything scarier than asking your quiet 5yo what he’s doing in his room and hearing him say, “Don’t worry. It’s just a little science.”???

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StressieBessie

2 years

My child is asleep, my partner is out for the evening, and I just had to have an out-loud conversation with myself convincing myself that I am OFF THE CLOCK and CAN DO SOMETHING I LIKE without looking at the dishes in the sink please clap

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StressieBessie

1 year

My husband: Mama is so silly! My son, ready to defend my honor: NO she is not! She is CUTE and she is HELPFUL!

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StressieBessie

2 years

@Kerrisue1985 PS I have no idea how I wasn’t following you before now and I have remedied this issue 😊

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StressieBessie

2 years

Ok my head hurts so bad and I ran out of good mom energy plz say tater tots and applesauce is a complete meal

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StressieBessie

2 years

Made the mistake of telling 6 one of his stuffed animals was owned by generations before him. He is now crying because those generations got old enough that they didn’t need toys anymore and he is afraid that at some point he might get too old to play with toys 🥺

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StressieBessie

3 months

My son said, "This is the first time I've seen something rare! And I got two eclipses because I saw one with my class and one with my mom, so this is the best day of being a kid in my life." ”

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StressieBessie

11 months

Got a few of our wedding pictures back and I think I’m most obsessed with the ones of my son playing in the sand after I told him to hold on to my bouquet 😭

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StressieBessie

2 months

8yo just told me that cooking was “science and magic and love” and I will forever stand by that

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StressieBessie

1 year

Took 6 to the dollar store because he got the Mr. Manners award this week. He picked this squishy toy and said "I want the salmonella." My child actually picked a toy because it looked like bacteria 😂😂😂

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StressieBessie

3 months

Thank you to the cashier at Dollar Tree who said I was being a good mom as my child slowly counted out his own change in front of a line of customers behind us. I was so focused on the people behind I forgot how much practice it takes to be a person in public, and she reminded me

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StressieBessie

8 months

He didn’t have a sleigh or a reindeer so he’s using a box and a dinosaur 😂

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StressieBessie

2 years

@KayeAnna88 @dessielclark A pack of goldfish crackers and a juice box, probably

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StressieBessie

2 years

I hate when he’s sick, but when he woke up and wanted to be held, I stroked his hair and told him, “I’m here. I love you. You can rest.” He smiled and said, “I love you ever the most,” and fell back to feverish sleep. Sick days mean he’s a baby for just a little longer 💚

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StressieBessie

7 months

I bought a new sweatshirt today, and I was wearing it when I picked 7 up from school: 7: I like that shirt! Let me test it! Me: What? 7, hugging me: Oh! This is a good one! It feels very pink! Me: Thank you! 7: You worked very hard to be a soft mama today, and I’m proud of you!

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StressieBessie

1 year

My hot take of the day: ALL FLAVORS OF PEDIALYTE SHOULD BE COLORLESS. I know damn well those colors are added and aren’t actually connected to the flavors. And I also know kids are messiest when they’re sick. Sick kids just want to sit on the couch with their drinks!

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StressieBessie

2 years

Y’ALL. Dolly on a Dinosaur | Bonfire

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Dolly on a Dinosaur | Bonfire

Walk Big, Like Dolly on a Dinosaur. 100% of profits to Imagination Library.. Seize the day.

www.bonfire.com

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@EPrecipice

StressieBessie

1 year

Apparently this is a fish tank, the blankets are a coral reef, and he is pretending to be a cuttlefish.

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StressieBessie

1 year

I have never seen my child this miserable. I offered to let him play video games while we waited for the doctor, but he refused to take off his mittens because he was shivering too badly. Then he fell asleep in my arms.

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StressieBessie

3 months

My child checked out a book about ancient Egypt from the library and is horrified to learn about archaeology. I was trying to explain how King Tut’s tomb was discovered and such and his eyes got so big and he asked if the archaeologists were “more curious than respectful”

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StressieBessie

2 years

@killdads This is both disgusting and fundamentally correct

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StressieBessie

1 year

After a couple rough days of boundary-pushing with 6 and me, he woke up this morning sweet and happy to see me. He sat down at the kitchen island as I prepared his breakfast and said, “Isn’t it nice that we’re friends again today? I missed you!”

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StressieBessie

1 year

The hubris of a 6yo with a stomach virus who has finally managed to drink 4oz of pedialyte without throwing up: GIVE ME A DONUT

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StressieBessie

1 year

7: you look like Cinderella, and not even the part where she wears the rags and stuff!

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StressieBessie

2 years

Y’all, I’m hardcore missing having elderly friends today. When I was a young teen, I joined a knitting group in my parents’ church and was the youngest member by decades. The way those ladies delighted in me and and I in them is something I gotta find again post covid

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StressieBessie

2 months

Questions my child asked me on the four-minute drive to school today: “What are atoms made of?” “How long does it take for a body to decompose?” “Why don’t vampires decompose if they’re dead?” “Do you think Babe Ruth’s mom made him do chores?”

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StressieBessie

5 years

@radtoria 3 told me this morning that up by the ceiling there was a clown and that he needed to put his head back on and his eyes back in. Thank god he said that in the daylight.

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StressieBessie

2 years

I watch Elf with my kid every year. This year, we talked about biological parents. He asked me if we were his biological parents. I said I was his biological mother, but I met Dad after he was born. He responded, “So Dad is my Papa Elf?” I said yes. “Oh. I like that,” he said ❤️

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StressieBessie

2 years

I have been thinking about something that scares me about parenting: you don’t get to choose (or even anticipate) which moments will be important to your child.

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StressieBessie

1 year

It’s Friday, so 6 and I have decided to get in our pajamas and watch the Jetsons until we feel like eating and then we will be making skillet pizzas from the Snoop Dogg cookbook and then eating while we color giant dinosaur coloring pages and do anatomy puzzles.

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StressieBessie

2 years

@ArielleCurtin @HC_Richardson Yeah it’s been rough but we’ve been working hard at it with him. He’s getting better all the time :)

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StressieBessie

6 months

I don’t know how I’m the only one awake in my house by this time on Christmas morning, but I have to admit having my coffee in the glow of our perfectly imperfect tree is particularly delightful. May you all find some quietly glowing peace today ❤️

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StressieBessie

1 year

Went to the store. Happened to walk through the ice cream aisle (oops) and my son exclaims, “You can have those?! In your house?!” He’s pointing to ice cream sandwiches. He’s only ever had them at school. I just became the coolest mom letting us have “school ice cream” at home 😎

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StressieBessie

2 years

After buying a bag of spinach with a picture of Popeye on it, my child just asked me, “Will you put some leaves in my lunch box so I am strong at recess?” LEAVES. 😂😂😂

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StressieBessie

11 months

Me: What will you dream about tonight? 7: I think I’d like to dream about playing video games with you. Me: You could dream about anything and you pick dreaming about something we already did today? 7: I had a beautiful day and I want another one while I’m sleeping!

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StressieBessie

2 years

5: “Do you want a hug?” Me: “Sure!” *opens arms* 5: “But I want you to want it.” Me: “What?” 5: “Like you should be the asker because you want the hug instead of me and I will give it to you.” Me: “…um… can I have a hug?” 5: “If you say please.”

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StressieBessie

2 years

@NoahPaulLeGies Well he loves both Dolly Parton and dinosaurs, so I guess he thought combining the two made the best thing he could think of

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StressieBessie

2 years

My sister-in-law almost bought my child an elf on the shelf but I have successfully thwarted her plans please clap

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StressieBessie

2 years

6: I learned a new word at school but I don’t know if I’m allowed to say it. Me: Ok, you can say it once and I’ll tell you if it’s a good word. 6, quietly: “Oy vey!”

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StressieBessie

2 years

@linluv5 Maybe that will be my family Christmas gift this year!

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StressieBessie

11 months

The rest of the wedding pictures came in and I’m not crying you’re crying 😭

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StressieBessie

3 months

Me: “Are you feeling okay, buddy?” My child: “It’s just Lazy Day today, Mama. I’m not in charge of what day it is.”

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StressieBessie

2 years

Anybody else have kids obsessed with the idea of camouflage? This my 5yo insisting this outfit hides him completely against any light-colored wall 😂

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