If anyone would like me to do a talk/webinar/workshop for your organisation, school, University on Unconscious Bias and how it affects all of us & how we can tackle it, and/or talking to our children about race and racism, let me know. I'd be very happy to help in any way I can.
NO women DO NOT have a high threshold to pain. This is gender essentialism. This is a toxic myth that makes women believe they should be able to bear more pain and not complain and they don’t. It is such a bizarre paradox where medical professionals believe that women can and…
The first time I held hands with my first boyfriend, he told me my hands were too dry & suggested *kindly* that I could use something to soften them because he loved holding my hand. He also then told me that I didn’t look good in jeans and he only wanted me to look my very best…
I've seen folks tweet that if Jonah Hill wanted a gf who didn't post bathing suit pictures or have guy friends he shouldn't have dated a surfer.
But here's the thing: Emotionally abusive & controlling men don't want 'submissive' women, they want to take strong women down a peg
"everyone dies but if you eat what you want to and drink lots of water and have lots of fun and read books and play games and do what you want you will not feel sad"
-- my 5 year old who seems to get life better than I do
Met a woman who seemed lovely. I introduced myself with my name. She looked uncomfortable, and I had to say it out loud a few times.
Me: And you are…?
Her: Oh I am Sue…MUCH easier to say and remember… [laugh]
Me: Sorry I didn’t get that.. how do you spell it?
I blame her for…
Today I finally wrote that email 20 yrs later. To the professor on my MA course who agreed to give me a recommendation letter for my PhD and then wrote ‘her English is not of a suitable level’ & ‘I do not believe she will make a good PhD researcher’ This middle-aged white man 1/
When women express pain, they are often perceived to be overestimating their symptoms or over-reacting (and being hysterical). As I discuss in Hysterical, ultimately it is rooted in the long history of medical misogyny, of hysteria, where most illnesses in women are seen to be…
"Woman accused of faking symptoms of debilitating illness dies aged 33. Her condition, caused by gene mutations, was blamed baselessly on psychiatric issues"
😡😡😡😡
"He wanted a girlfriend and he's got no social skills and he was frustrated out of his brain," he added. Perhaps all those who quickly labelled it as a terrorist act should now talk about the incel radicalisation of white men.
It is not a surprise that people are surprised that Nazanin Zaghari Radcliffe is not more grateful. She is a woman. She is not white. She is an immigrant. She is expected to be grateful. She is expected to show gratitude for every inch of space she is given. I admire her hugely.
I am astounded that there has been so much outrage against the Tory Christmas party or Stratton’s self-pity tears but not much at all about the Borders Bill that can revoke citizenship without notice.
An elderly couple just told me: “try and get your children to shut up or go back where you came from”.
It was supposed to be a lovely family day out on Liverpool Albert Docks. And now I just feel my face burning and I’m holding back tears.
Today my 7 yr old child discovered James Blunt and she said ‘I really like this’. And we’ve had to listen to ‘You are beautiful’ all day. All day. Please respect our family’s privacy during this difficult time. Good night.
@lynn70walton
I really don't think that it is an issue of trying, failing, trying again, asking and making sure. This is not what it was. It was an assumption that westernised names are easier to say and remember. This is a way of othering. If it helps, even my very white husband found this as…
I so adore the V&A and appreciate all the volunteers that give their time. But today as I asked one of the volunteers the way to the members’ room, first she looked me up and down and said ‘you need to be a member’. Erm I am yes. I was then directed to the stairs for the third…
Who made this? And who approved it?
Heteronormative.
Reinforcing the view that it is a woman’s job to homeschool, clean, do the childcare.
Are the men out there fighting a war or something?
The 7-yr old said to me in a rare moment ‘I am so so glad that you are my mummy’ and I thought I would cry and then she said ‘other people’s mothers only give them healthy lunches’.
In my first marriage I was made fun of whenever I wanted to go to a bookshop & buy books, told that it was a waste of (their) money. I never talk abt it but sometimes do think abt it when I look at our overflowing bookshelves now & how books bring so much joy to all our lives.
I am so pleased to read this finally. If your feminism isn’t trans inclusive it isn’t feminism. Also reducing women to their bodies and reproductive parts goes against everything women’s rights stands for.
My 4 yr old has been back at nursery for 2 wks & came back saying how she wanted blond hair as ‘it is prettier’. I have started a conversation with the nursery to discuss what books & toys they are using & how they’re reinforcing diversity. Parents cannot do this work alone.
international conferences even before I completed my PhD. If you are an international student, don’t let anyone tell you what you can and cannot achieve. If you are an academic who is asked to give a recommendation letter don’t be like him. Don’t let your own stereotypes and 4/
I want to know who the official photographer (or is it publicist?) at
#G7Summit2021
is and have a long chat with them about how women have been positioned and represented through all these images. It is doing my head in.
a recommendation. This was a breach of trust. I got that PhD scholarship. I taught and wrote single-authored research papers and got a v prestigious fellowship before I had even completed my PhD. In fact that drove me on. I was invited over to speak and present at numerous 3/
presumptions affect how you evaluate the student. Say no if you can’t say anything good. He also wrote ‘she is nice & helpful but...’ Do not use words such as ‘helpful’ and ‘nice’ for women but ‘knowledgeable’ and ‘self-motivated’ for men. I have thought abt that letter off & 5/
all these experiences here in comments are heart-breaking and sobering to read. it is because so many of us are not taught how to assert ourselves, we are taught to be nice and willing to adjust and do not learn that our values lie outside validation from others. So many of us…
who tried to put an end to a young Indian woman’s academic career with his presumptions abt her talent and suitability for a PhD. He imposed his own views of what a suitable level of English is for a foreign-born & raised person. Moreover, he did so while agreeing to give her 2/
My 3 yr old took this to nursery for 'circle time' when they read diff books. She was told: 'Oh don't think boys will like this book'
Not only could she not share her joy of a book she loves but she has also been given a message that girls & boys like diff things. I am livid.
Well I shared this rather hesitatingly but it seems to have resonated with many. The gatekeepers, toxic cultures of ‘fit’, notion of outsiders, all are determined by a narrative of white supremacy unfortunately deep-rooted in UK & US academia & heightened @ intersection of gender
Today the doctor (man) kept telling our 5 year old that she had been frowning & asking/telling her to smile. I couldn't take it. No, she is not frowning, dear sir, that is her face. She is thinking. She is serious. She is completely ok to be like this. This is how it all starts.
In a moment of emotional irrationality husband & I tried to convince daughter to travel urgently this eve. She said 'No that's irresponsible. We shouldn't be doing this. I'm not going to do that.' And although my heart is sore, I'm immensely proud of the young woman we've raised.
“At times, I feel as if my wife is so mentally busy juggling work and the kids that she doesn’t think about sex and intimacy as much as I do”
I almost spluttered into my coffee this morning while mentally busy juggling work and kids. F*ckwit.
I know Gregg Wallace's saturday lives rent-free in all our minds now but I can't stop thinking of how his mother-in-law is seen as 'help', his wife as someone who gets his lunch on his table when he comes swarming back from his gym & breakfast at Harvesters, their labour…
on for 20 yrs & always made sure I get to know my students & their contexts before writing a recommendation letter, not measure intl students by a standard yardstick for language & academic writing. They might not have had the same training in their countries. Just this! 6/
oh this blew up. I posted it last night without tagging V&A because my aim isn’t to get the volunteer sacked or reprimanded but to make people aware of their internal biases and assumptions that we can all sometimes impose on others in action and words. This becomes so important…
I have been thinking about this quite a lot & Laura puts it very well on her insta. It does not matter who the woman is or where she is going, what time of the day, what she is wearing or how she is acting. A woman has the right to be safe, to feel safe. Everywhere. At all times.
Saying 'pregnant people' does not erase women because women are people. I am a woman & I do not feel that my identity is threatened by using inclusive language. I am more than my womb. Creating an inclusive society starts with inclusive language not hinged on cis-normativity.
F*ck this. My eldest had to be fed formula and they got 10 A* at GCSE so please don’t believe this bullshit.
Making mothers feel ashamed and guilty once again if they can’t breastfeed. This is based on less than 5000 data points. CORRELATION IS NOT CAUSATION.
I didn’t want to read that interview with Margaret Atwood but I did and I love her support of truth and fairness and how nuanced her thinking is, and I abhor it- simply abhor- how obsessed our media is with trans rights, how threatened they seem to be by trans women.
The rejection of this vote is a denial of history, of colonialism and its inter-generational long-standing impact, and how racism is deeply embedded in the country’s politics & society.
So exhausting. We are soon back to books like ‘men are from mars, women are from venus’, and ‘men can’t cry, and women can’t read maps’
Well done- is this what you’ve wanted feminists?
Tate was arrested on suspicion of rape in the UK in 2015 but police took 4 YEARS (!) to pass their investigation to CPS who declined to prosecute. And he was left unchecked to spread his misogynistic beliefs to millions of young boys.
What a mess. Labelling certain food ‘bad’ or making people feel guilty for eating certain foods is not the answer. The obesity *crisis* cannot be addressed without addressing mental health crisis or crippling poverty in this country.
@BootstrapCook
has been doing incredible work.
I’ve said it many times before. And I’ll say it once again. Algorithms are biased because people are. Algorithms are trained on historic data patterns which incorporate systemic social inequalities. This is why algorithms used for A- level grades are biased & hugely problematic.
I have lots to say about drinking culture, but perhaps first and foremost we should tell the boys/men to not sexually assault women, whether the young women drink or not. This is really disappointing.
This news is tragic. The cost of dismissal of women’s pain and their own testimonies about their bodies is huge. So many stories I can tell. And so many stories all of us have.
This is absolutely why I insist on teaching my girls that they know best about their bodies and they…
It isn’t that girls do not want to lead, they know that they are not seen as leaders, they will face discrimination & bias, the traditional style of leadership imposes a double-bind on them where they have to be aggressive but also not ‘too much’. I am v angry about this headline
Knowledge is power. All children from a young age should know the correct name for body parts, should be taught about consent and body autonomy, and we need to demystify sex in an age-appropriate manner in a safe environment so they don’t rely on the internet.
The more they…
I do not want primary school children full stop to have sex education. Nor do I want children to be taught about changing gender. We need to protect their innocence and childhood.
Do not come here on this post with your transphobic views or you will be blocked. Yes Merseyside Police domestic abuse data as an example found that 95% of coercive control victims were women and 74% of perpetrators were (cis) men. 76% of coercive control cases happened within an…
Seen people saying how some of these children on free school meals might grow up to be scientists, doctors etc so deserve better. Even if they don’t, EVERY child deserves proper food. Not because they might grow up to be of value to society but because it’s the right thing to do.
As I see backlash against Emma Watson a reminder that conforming rigidly to gender binary benefits the patriarchy. Transphobia is so much because of internalised misogyny.
France senate has voted to ban hijab for under 18s.
If passed it will make age of consent for sex lower than age of consent for hijab: an extraordinary decision.
It is about pretending to liberate Muslim women while really taking away autonomy & choice: white saviour complex.
For all people so *bored* with
#HarryandMeganonOprah
do take some time to reflect on your privilege & the luxury you have to ignore conversations abt how racism is so deeply embedded in our institutions, abt how abuse takes many forms & the impact it has on people’s mental health
This by
@womensaid
is clever & really important. I just hope that we can also remind people that coercive control has many layers and levels and often it does not have to be all of this to be toxic. It can often exist as benevolence which is why it is so hard to isolate at times.
You have a hypothesis and you set out to prove it.
This study is based in creating an algorithm to spot differences in men’s and women’s brains. I just read the study in detail.
Guess what the AI is trained on and how it plays on the biases in the training datasets and the…
I am so glad that someone has talked about the toxic stereotypes in David Walliams books that I have long been shocked by. Our children deserve better than to learn to laugh at minority ethnic communities. This is how racism and prejudices get ingrained in our society.
As a senior academic in a leading university, my line manager- a woman professor- complained when I didn't come into work the day after I had my miscarriage, asked me why I wanted more children when I already had one, and she was the poster child for
#womeninacademia
at this…
When I was in grad school, my son(1 yo then) ended up in the ICU with RSV for 3 nights. I missed an assignment during that time. When I explained the situation, the prof. said “you should have planned better.” I saw her post today on supporting
#womeninSTEM
😑😑😑
I completely & resolutely stand for women's rights, yes. But any struggle for equality can only be intersectional. If your feminism does not include trans women & other marginalised groups then it's not feminism. If you do not agree & want to unfollow me that's absolutely fine.
This is also problematic because this is often an argument used by anti-abortion campaigners. This is giving pro-life movement ammunition. A pregnant person/woman is not yet a ‘mother’.
Sorry if I haven’t responded individually but thanks all for your msgs & for sharing your experiences. It is so important to address the diff forms of bias & inequalities in academia. If you’re interested my books are here: You’re welcome to have a look!
I have just faced bullying & abuse from a train manager of
@AvantiWestCoast
at Lpl Lime St Stn called PAUL - a white middle aged man- who refused to let me on the train after screaming at me. Illegal, yes. No one did anything. I didn’t record. I am so shaken up
@BTP
Or maybe, just maybe, it became clearer what motherhood penalty costs women in terms of their careers and how women carry much of the emotional and mental load even in the most gender equitable households. Just maybe that.
Media sexism is still so rife. Women in politics are measured by a different yardstick. Also women are seen to not have gravitas so their accomplishments made trivial in this way. What a question to ask a Prime Minister.
The 7-yr olds are watching Barbie and I tried to explain something to them and they looked at me with disdain and said ‘we know what patriarchy is mumma- we’ve known since we were little babies.’ Oh ok my work is done then.
‘Men talk too much at conferences’: much improved and more accurate headline.
Give men some bloody responsibility for their actions, for taking up too much space. Not always the fault of conference design or of the women.
Alcohol and ‘child-bearing’ age: There are serious implications in that WHO report about gender roles and stereotypes. I have been reading many research papers & it is clear that alcohol has impact on male fertility and behaviour. 1/
Solidarity.
It took me three applications and five interviews to be able to get a visa for my 8-year old to be able to join me in the UK when I had a permanent Lectureship at UCL and I was course director of one of the leading MSc courses in the country. I had to take leave from…
Disgusted by the Home Office's treatment of my brilliant colleague
@DoselineKiguru
, whose six-year old daughter has been denied a UK visa. This decision needs to be reversed immediately. Please RT and share.
Seeing some 'feminists' attack Madonna for the way she looks at 64 makes me wonder if in saying 'our body, our choice' we glorify certain choices & reject others. Does it not extend to a woman making a choice about how she looks even though that might not be my/your choice. And
I made a powerpoint presentation for our 6 yr olds last year to break their stereotype that women have long hair and men have short hair. Essentialising women with certain physical attributes is misogynistic and racist and transphobic. But you probably already know this.
With Jacinda Ardern & now Nicola Sturgeon it is also time to talk about the intense scrutiny and pressures that women face in politics esp as leaders and the cost to their mental and physical health & what we need to do as a society to disrupt the norms around leadership
F* it all the people who are asking why women didn’t come forward sooner. Because girls and women are not believed, called hysterical and because there is so much inherent bias in the way the society ‘judges’ womens’s testimonies about their own bodies.
This feels so heavy and terrifying for everyone caught up in this but for me a brown woman who moved to Ireland recently with her mixed-heritage family away from the divisive politics in England this is too sad
Well done our fearless
#Lionesses
! And congrats Spain. It was not to be this time, but you have done us proud & - as a father of two girls - I know you have inspired so many along the way. This is not the end. You can hold your heads high & know we are immensely proud of you. 🏴