COLiN BURGESS @Colinoscopy Twitter profile

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COLiN BURGESS

@Colinoscopy

2 years

if you like any of this, we have 78 more minutes of it you could watch

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COLiN BURGESS

@Colinoscopy

4 years

1 minute before the museum closes

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

made a Rube Goldberg machine

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

I took the covid written test today

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@Colinoscopy

3 years

they finally cracked the zodiac cipher

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

downloaded the shadow inc app used in the Iowa caucus

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

How it started: How it’s going:

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

decided to bike to work today

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@Colinoscopy

3 years

got the vaccine

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COLiN BURGESS

@Colinoscopy

4 years

edited myself into The Shining as “the other guy staying at the Overlook hotel”

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COLiN BURGESS

@Colinoscopy

3 years

gonna tell my kids this is Ben Affleck and J Lo. I’m going to be honest with them

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

idk if Trump is dying or not but I think they should put him in a coffin and bury him in the ground just to be safe

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COLiN BURGESS

@Colinoscopy

4 years

Joe Biden fucking sucks. Please vote for him

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COLiN BURGESS

@Colinoscopy

4 years

big thank you to my roommate Rajat for filming and helping me build the machine

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COLiN BURGESS

@Colinoscopy

2 years

finished reading a book for the first time in 3 years

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COLiN BURGESS

@Colinoscopy

2 years

attention internet sleuths🕵️‍♂️ my parents recently watched a really good movie on TCM but can’t remember the title, who’s in it or what the movie is about. anybody know what movie this is? 🤔

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@Colinoscopy

8 months

this fucking sucks

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COLiN BURGESS

@Colinoscopy

5 years

You know how when people think about sex they get really horny? what if you did that but instead of sex you were thinkin about your life and instead of horny you felt sad?

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COLiN BURGESS

@Colinoscopy

4 years

new impression: one of those age progression face morph videos

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COLiN BURGESS

@Colinoscopy

4 years

love this new Instagram filter

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COLiN BURGESS

@Colinoscopy

4 years

before this gets spread as disinformation: this video is a comedy spoof. I made it on the computer but I guess I made it too real 😔

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COLiN BURGESS

@Colinoscopy

4 years

learning book guy dance from Hamilton

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@Colinoscopy

6 years

it’s a very scary time for young men in America right now: it’s halloween!

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COLiN BURGESS

@Colinoscopy

3 years

they sealed my apartment in again

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

rajat and I finally figured out how to do the #fliptheswitchchallenge

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

my new commute to work

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COLiN BURGESS

@Colinoscopy

3 years

Everyone should just get the vaccine. if you don’t end up liking it, you can get it taken out later

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COLiN BURGESS

@Colinoscopy

4 years

ball not working

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@Colinoscopy

3 years

thinking about how awesome this would be rn

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COLiN BURGESS

@Colinoscopy

1 year

we made a whole feature length film full of scenes like this. tickets on sale now

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COLiN BURGESS

@Colinoscopy

4 years

did this work?

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COLiN BURGESS

@Colinoscopy

4 years

fuck. 23 people are moving 😱

Greg Kelly

@gregkellyusa

4 years

The exodus of New York. Big lines this morning at UHAUL. CATASTROPHIC setbacks in quality of life —-people have had enough.

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COLiN BURGESS

@Colinoscopy

4 years

ok everyone delete your Chris D’Elia app

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COLiN BURGESS

@Colinoscopy

4 years

like this tweet and I will thank you personally

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COLiN BURGESS

@Colinoscopy

4 years

this is the new thing that I watch

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COLiN BURGESS

@Colinoscopy

3 years

Park was busy today. Waited in line for 30 minutes to sit at the bench and listen to a podcast

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

one big difference between New York and LA I noticed is that LA is really far from where New York is

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COLiN BURGESS

@Colinoscopy

2 years

new clue: they said it has a guy in it that was in something else

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@Colinoscopy

3 years

my job sucks

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COLiN BURGESS

@Colinoscopy

4 years

I got cast as “hipster 1” in the opening sketch of this guy’s cc stand up special and he is maybe one of the dumbest motherfuckers I’ve ever met in my life

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@Colinoscopy

3 years

day 3 of no Twitter

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COLiN BURGESS

@Colinoscopy

3 years

photo is cropped

FastTimesAtRF aka

@KarateSkool

3 years

Lmaooooo this the wildest ban in history. His phone just a brick

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

really bad at the guess the gibberish filter on IG

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@Colinoscopy

2 years

Hi friends— I’ve left Arcade Fire

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@Colinoscopy

3 years

8 months from now

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COLiN BURGESS

@Colinoscopy

6 months

it was an honor to be featured in the @Variety Stand Up Comedy Roundtable but they sat me on the wrong side of the table

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@Colinoscopy

2 years

they said they’re not sure it was on TCM anymore

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@Colinoscopy

2 years

these are my top moments on the Emmys red carpet

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

I’m going to set off a nuclear warhead for my son’s gender reveal party

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

I got cut out of the I Take Responsiblity video because they said I wasn’t close enough to the camera 😑

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@Colinoscopy

3 years

I have looked at this photo for a long time and I am convinced this guy is using his beard hair as a lanyard

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

couldn’t decide on where to sit on the subway

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

today is the day we celebrate that guy that is always hanging out with mom

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

it’s going to be so nice once Covid is all over and we can finally take off our masks and replace them with a full-face gas mask because now the air is poison

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COLiN BURGESS

@Colinoscopy

1 year

just watched a really good movie. well that’s 2 hours of my life I will get back!

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@Colinoscopy

6 years

Can’t wait until they are done with all the construction in New York. It’s going to look sooo good.

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COLiN BURGESS

@Colinoscopy

3 years

Hey NYC! Looking for a subletter to take over the lease on this sunny Bushwick apartment for July 1 move in. 3 blocks from Myrtle-Wyckoff stop, 70 sq ft, fully furnished (2 tables, 4 chairs), Optimum internet, roof access, amazing roommate. $1,250 a month, utilities not included

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COLiN BURGESS

@Colinoscopy

4 years

if you see any of these things around, avoid them! it is coronavirus. retweet this photo

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

no one should have to work on cyber Monday

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@Colinoscopy

3 years

RESTORE THE SNYDERVERSE

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

update: me and my roommates have gotten the fruit fly infestation under control. we only have 600 of them now

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

since shutdown I have noticed stores have stopped feeding the mannequins 😔

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

fuck. we forgot about Little Montana 😱

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

this year my costume is “halloween shirt”

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@Colinoscopy

2 years

they need to install wifi between stations. this is so annoying 🙄

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@Colinoscopy

3 years

any time a movie does a location change to the city of Nice, I like to pretend the subtitle that pops up is just a comment on how good the establishing shot looks

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COLiN BURGESS

@Colinoscopy

7 years

Main concern w/ single-payer healthcare: I don't think it's fair 2 make one, single person pay 4 the entire thing. Would suck 2 be that guy.

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

fuck the fucking police and the fucks that want to keep funding them

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

JAIME FOXX IS IN TALKS TO PLAY ELECTRO

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@Colinoscopy

2 years

getting the word out

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@Colinoscopy

3 years

Twitter break is going well so far. feels good to not tweet

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@Colinoscopy

5 years

IDEAS FOR NEW FILE EXTENTIONS: .gif2 (longer and HD quality gif, can now make a clip that is the entire feature length film) .todd (can be used to save photos of Todd) .oof (bad file) .jpeg2012 (2012 quality jpeg) .docxxx (raunchy word file) . (undecided file type)

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@Colinoscopy

2 years

he just watched Chris Rock get slapped

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@Colinoscopy

3 years

just realized I have never formally introduced myself on here. Hello I am Colin Burgess

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@Colinoscopy

3 years

in a new era of quarantine where I am really into gaming

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

Dune is going to be so awesome. there’s going to be a big worm

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@Colinoscopy

2 years

I have started painting. Taking commissions! I can also do red

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@Colinoscopy

1 year

another clip from the feature film Dad & Step-Dad. the movie is essentially a bunch of 1 minute clips like this but seamlessly edited together and paced in a way that is pleasing to watch. not sure how else to explain this

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COLiN BURGESS

@Colinoscopy

4 years

cops are not racist, they just feel more comfortable around people with assault rifles. if you are ever stopped by a cop make sure you are holding an assault rifle. fire it at protestors few times to make the cop feel safe

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

@NyniaChance I agree, the DNC ruined my comedy video

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@Colinoscopy

6 years

just want to let everyone know that it’s okay to take your time while voting and decorate your booth

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

at one point in my life my entire family and I had bangs

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@Colinoscopy

3 years

I did a cozy Bernie photoshop of him sitting in this car. he’s inside the car

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

coronavirus is going to win the primary

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@Colinoscopy

3 years

I always get stuck doing this

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

scrolled for too long

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

this is the most detailed image of the sun’s surface to date

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

these plants are going to get covid 🤦🏻‍♂️

CNN

@CNN

4 years

Barcelona opera house reopens with performance to 2,292 plants

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@Colinoscopy

2 years

Can’t recommend this place enough

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

everyone check your paintings

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

the shoot ended up being like 4 hours long because Chazz Palminteri couldn’t remember the line “I'm seeing Arcade Fire play a secret show in Bushwick” and kept calling PBR “BPV”

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

PROTEST MORE

🍉 Danika Harrod 🍉

@danikaharrod

4 years

🙃

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

My final election map prediction heading into the polls Trump - 236 Biden - 388

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

I think that everyone should be wearing a mask. this is not related to covid

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

bad news about Borat 2

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@Colinoscopy

3 years

Yang is a banana n00b. literally never touched a banana before

Andrew Yang🧢⬆️🇺🇸

@AndrewYang

3 years

New York City loves its bodegas! The 14,000 bodegas are vital to our city - let’s support them and keep them open. 👍❤️🗽

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

Been keeping myself pretty busy in quarantine so far. Yesterday I went to the living room and didn’t get back to my bedroom until 1am. Later today I’m meeting my roommate Rajat at the front stoop. Tomorrow I might check out the closet, see what’s going on there.

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@Colinoscopy

4 years

I’m going to have a tweet about Elon Musk and Grimes baby in a few days. Stay tuned. Thank you for following

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