2019 lessons:
1. You are your own rescue, no one else.
2. Humans are complex, good & bad.
3. Sesafeleng sa thlola- everything ends.
4. Always choose yourself, choosing sides will leave you with an egg on your face
5. Fight.
7. Refuse to wear shame
8.Could be you
9. Life goes on
Viola Davis said that one thing that she learned when she was POOR “Is that you are INVISIBLE. Nobody sees you because you have access to NOTHING. People feel like you're the one who's caused your fate... When you don't have [] you're NOBODY” This truth hit me deeply in my core.
Just landed in London, UK—to begin a permanent job where I’ll be helping to train scientists on genomic surveillance of malaria to combat Antimicrobial Resistance & eradicate the disease. I’m a ball of emotions but I’m mostly grateful & looking forward to the daunting challenge🥂
“Sometimes you don’t survive whole, you just survive in part. But the grandeur of life is that attempt. It’s not about that solution. It is about being as fearless as one can, and behaving as beautifully as one can, under completely impossible circumstances.” — Toni Morrison✨❤️
Guys I interviewed thee Bonang Matheba and was sitting & chatting to David Beckham on camera, in the same studio for the whole day with the director who directed Black is King by Beyoncé Knowles-Carter. What is my life??? No ways fam I’m filled with so much gratitude 🙏🏿 😭🥹❤️🕯
Natasha Thahane merely exposed and verbalised how the world actually runs and works: nepotism, cronyism and privilege is how the elite remain in that class for generations, by looking out for each other. Meritocracy is a myth and lie that’s used to silence marginalized people.
When I left CPT for the UK I gave most of my furniture, clothes & other belongings for FREE to friends/strangers. Tomorrow I’m fetching a whole lot of furniture from a colleague for FREE. I wasn’t giving things away to get anything back but the universe reciprocates our energy.
Mthokozisi Ntumba’s life mattered whether he had a masters degree or not. I want black people to refrain from toxically using respectability politics to argue why our lives matter. We don’t need to be educated, or be the face of black excellence to have value & not get killed!
Grief is so weird because it visits you during moments of victory and joy to remind you of its dominance— grief finds you with a champagne glass in your hand about to toast your win & it asks, don’t you wish they were still alive to celebrate with you? Then deep sadness sets in.
Venda and Tsonga people (from Limpopo) have South Africans of many tribes meting out myriad violence to us. We are at the bottom of the totem pole, with harmful discourses about how difficult our languages are, hypersexualized and seen as less attractive and more intelligent. 1/
A Venda woman with no hair just won Miss SA (she’s the first Venda winner), from a tribe that experiences the most tribalism in SA & is deemed to be ugly. The women are often mistreated & made fun of. Beauty is redefined. This will have ripple effects! This is big
#MissSA2020
One of the girls whose floor I slept on when I was academically excluded from UCT and homeless, found out where I am currently and sent a message to say she’s very proud of me & I teared up because it hits deep when people who know your journey say they are proud —I’m grateful 🥹
I want to tweet about how after obtaining my MSc, Hons & Undergrad degrees from top institutions in the world, UCT (best in Africa), Oxford (Best in Europe), after spending millions and incurring debt yey ndithi the whole nine yards, I was offered 3K a month as a salary by a c..
That UCT/Wits video depicting students celebrating because classes are cancelled due to corona virus shows that you can be academically clever and attend prestigious institutions and still be unwise/ stupid. Love and light 💕
I’m returning to this old tweet about how I failed biology and got academically excluded from UCT in my 1st year and today I am part of international science campaigns to fight malaria and I just have to say God restores and will heal you and elevate you. Grateful for overflow 🙏🏿
I failed biology in first year & got academically excluded as a result. Today I work in bioinformatics, a field whose foundation is biology. I think the universe has a funny way of healing us and showing us that anything is possible. Don’t give up. Don’t stop trying. You’ll win!
A man raped a woman, took a shower & then became president. A man ordered the murder of mine workers as a concomitant measure and is currently at the helm. Male celebs are still in their bag after countless rape & abuse cases, so tell me, what incentive do men have to be better?
Imagine being a Professor and a Top Scientist with a PhD in Physics and a journalist refers to you on a first name basis like you are mates. I would fight everyone. Grad school is not easy. I’m not an academic snob but people toil years for these titles. It’s Prof to you eNCA!
First half of 2022 has been so good!
1. Moved to the UK
2. Became a malaria champion & joined Bonang Matheba + David Beckham in studio
3. Visited Nigeria for the first time
4. Invited by UN
5. Keynote at liberty health Africa
…& more 🥂🍾
Grateful 🥹 🫶🏿🙏🏿🥳❤️💛🌻🌙✨
I’ve been reflecting, ruminating and pondering over the erasure, invibilisation and the nothingness & unworthiness that comes with poverty — how that violence and trauma never leaves you, no matter how much money or wealth you accumulate in life. Poverty’s stench sticks with you.
I will always revisit this very important thread about how to be patient with your own journey and never comparing your life with anyone by Dr Sindi. Sometimes we get caught up in competing with others and it steals our joy. Own race, own lane, own pace. Your journey is unique ❤️
First year medicine I was 24
Graduated at the age of 29
Turned 30 as an intern at Baragwanath Hospital
Izinto zami seziyahlangana at the big age of 42
Everyone has a journey! Enjoy yours and don't worry about anything else!
Poverty is a man-made condition — no one deserves to be poor— in fact people are impoverished due to carefully designed systems meant to assist some to accumulate wealth at the expense and exploitation of many. It’s disingenuous to blame poverty on individuals when it’s systemic!
The post-achievement depression and deep emptiness we feel after attaining a certain goal, is a sour reminder that we should never identify ourselves and bury our whole being in a goal or dream. Being human is much more complex than attaining success — contrary to popular belief.
Someone with the range must unpack how our beloved queen Beyoncé is reducing blackness and Africanness to aesthetics and the western imaginations of our existence. They must also speak about how it’s now profitable to do such gimmicks. Enough with the symbolism, Equality now!👀
I’m wearing my late mothers shirt, she passed on last year due to covid19. I’m everything I am because of Elsie Ndayeni Chauke, what a formidable woman—I am my mothers answered prayers. I’m reaping the rewards of her prayers in the afterlife. Deeply sad she’s not here to see it💔
I’m aware of how a lot of people don’t see me and have never seen — will never dare to see me because they deem me as unworthy due to my poverty. I know how much of my experiences have been shaped by lack and how people disrespect and abuse me because I am a nobody—poor.
I’m thinking about how much of everyday life is shaped by your poverty — running away from the poverty (past), working and aching to stop being poor(present), hoping and manifesting a better tomorrow with no poverty (future), so every thought, decision and energy is POVERTY.
My friend, Ryan & I manifested our new jobs & life in the UK— we were on a long scenic drive in Cape Town in his car last year—we said we will find jobs in the UK & we both did, exactly as we said. The universe is literally conspiring with you to create your new life and dreams✨
Burst out crying on my flight back to CPT while listening to gospel music because God has been so good! He did promise me last year that 2022 is the year of healing and restoration— God is restoring all the years eaten by the locusts. His promises are yes and amen. So grateful!
"What the world does to you, if the world does it to you long enough and effectively enough, you begin to do it to yourself. You become a collaborator, an accomplice to your own murderers, because you believe the same things they do."— James Baldwin. Posthumous 100th birthday 🎉
Guys, please learn to apply for jobs, scholarships, fellowships and other opportunities even if you don’t meet all the requirements. You shouldn’t be discounting yourself from the process because of doubt/fear—No perfect candidate exists. Let the hiring team decide your fate.
Poverty is a leech that drains your life of meaning and identity and brings with it a lot of guilt, blame and SHAME. A lot of us wear that shame to the grave because we accept that being poor is our fault hence the deserving of being treated like non-entities. Nobodies! Shame!
Natasha‘s tweet stings & hits close to home for so many graduates performing poverty porn on twitter, standing on traffic lights handing out CVs begging for any job. It hurts for the students fighting for fees to fall. Her tweet strikes a cord because she’s telling the truth.
People wonder why I overshare— I do it to unshackle myself from shame. I tell on myself to free myself from anyone having a hold on me. I write and speak about my life to keep my light on. I grew up with shame and humiliation and I heal myself through narrating my own journey ❤️
My friend Noxolo Ntaka just bought her first car. She is a child of a domestic worker who has beaten so many odds and even has a masters degree from Oxford University. She’s winning in her career and life in general. I am so happy for her! Help me celebrate her 🥂🍾😭🙌🏿🤗🥳💃🏿❤️✨
Without discounting anyone’s efforts, I want us to admit that hard work looks different when you are privileged than when you aren’t—access to social, cultural & financial capital means your work is already advantageous & rewarded, it’s disingenuous to pretend otherwise.
I failed biology in first year & got academically excluded as a result. Today I work in bioinformatics, a field whose foundation is biology. I think the universe has a funny way of healing us and showing us that anything is possible. Don’t give up. Don’t stop trying. You’ll win!
I dislike motivational speakers,cause like religion, they preach that thoughts and words are responsible for your reality. We cannot discount world systems, history, politics, structures that perpetuate certain realities. If we could speak our way out of things many of us would.
Poor people are expected to remain silent and grateful because how dare you speak up when you are a nobody? A nothing? But we must reject silence as Audre Lorde says, your silence won’t save you. Ever! So I find speaking out and writing in the face of bullying… liberating indeed
Those who have and are in power know this, they are fully aware but would rather continue to paddle lies and the false narrative that people are to blame for their own suffering — championing the “rags to riches” story that if you work hard enough you might also become wealthy…
“The one thing I learned when I was poor… Is that you are INVISIBLE. Nobody sees you because you have access to NOTHING. People feel like you're the one who's caused your fate... It’s only people who have the money…When you don't have [] you're NOBODY” Let me go weep 😢 🥹❤️🫂
“People that seek outside validation, can’t understand a person that gets it from the inside.”— Keke Palmer
This video of Bonang further highlights the importance of self-confidence & drive because if you don’t know your worth, other people won’t tell you and aren’t obliged ❤️
Miss South Africa win has tribalism rearing its ugly head— wrote this article unpacking the tribalism meted out against our new Miss SA Shudu, and by default Venda people. Your comments vis a vis Shudu are nasty and shocking. Please stop tribalism nonke
Contemplating what Viola meant when she purported that she wanted to become famous so she could get finally seen. Is that why I am a writer? Am I writing to get seen? “To choose to write is to reject silence”
— Chimamanda. I reject silence whether it being silent or silenced…
Affirming:
I am smart, I am brave, I am capable, I am talented, I am passionate, I am hard working, I am ambitious, I am adaptive, I am anointed, I am learning, I am achieving, I am kind, I am teachable, I am collaborative, I am blessed, I am love.
I am grateful ✨🙏🏿❤️🌻🍀
I wanna know how it feels to be rich, to be financially secure and not ever worry about money. I wonder what type of confidence and dynamic mobility you are able to garner just because you removed most obstacles. Lack of money is limiting in so many ways. Money is freedom.
That is why I know first hand that meritocracy is a myth, guys, I was a top student, medals, awards, fellowships, leadership positions, tutoring, volunteering, yey ndithi all of it, but dololo employment. Hard work alone will not make you succeed, fortune and networks are key
We are not meant to be alone - This article is so well written and always gets me undone and pensive. What a true account of loneliness and human companionship. Please read and relate and ponder ❤️🥹🙏🏿
The whole Sithelo & Andile situation is proof of how much Black South Africans have normalised predatory/ paedo behaviour in our society. We think just because we saw old men date our friends in high school etc that it’s normal. It’s not. We need to unpack this rape culture ASAP
The world hates poor people and they have even taught poor people to hate themselves and each other — it’s always a mindfuck to find poor people being classist and anti-poor but it’s to be expected actually. So we spend so money and perform so much to render ourselves visible.
I’m so heartbroken and sore over the UCT fire. Seeing pictures of the library on fire is sending me through the roof. My mind was shaped in that institution, I am over some of you thinking you are edgy by celebrating this tragedy. So many students displaced, so much lost 💔
If you think Bonang is beautiful from seeing her photos or videos online and tv you must see her live. Bonang is STUNNING and GORGEOUS and Smells amazing. She’s also funny and kind. We spoke Setswana and laughed out loud in the middle of studio in London UK. What??????? Hayini 🥹
Love people deeply— from a place of detachment, and be ready to always let go because no one is joined to you or tied to your destiny. Love with no fear of rejection or things ending, immerse yourself but also be aware that things end, sometimes abruptly with no explanation.
We can preach about self-love and internal validation until we’re blue in the face but human beings crave to be seen by others— so to experience life where people look over you or through you damages you especially when it’s not your fault, so you internalise the bullshit.
UCT VC
@FabAcademic
is contributing 20% of her own salary to advancing black scholarship on a monthly basis, that’s not counting the money she contributes to her NGO Adopt a Learner & Feenix amongst other philanthropic endeavours. She puts her money where her mouth is. Kudos ❤️
People also infantilise and have paternalistic attitudes towards poor people — as though you can’t think and they actively work to take away your agency and regularly remind you that even though you might be in the same spaces as them, you don’t belong and never will. Ever!
The violence is expressed through lack of representation in government, media, and other spheres. The stereotypes are that we eat dirty or scary foods, are spoken of in the same xenophobic and afrophobic terms used to alienate other Africans. Tribalism is not a joke. 2/
Please stop sharing that video of that dead civilian at Wits. It further desensitises us to black pain and trauma. Y’all consume Black Death like it’s fiction. He’s human, he had a family, a purpose, his life had meaning. I know you are trying to raise awareness but don’t share!
It’s also interesting to occupy two stools— that weird place where you are privileged on paper but not in reality. You went to UCT and Oxford and travelled the world and you’ve set with power and privilege that doesn’t belong to you because at the end of the day you are poor.
The funniest thing is watching SASCO or PYA protesting against the ANC, it’s their parent body and most of them are literally just waiting for their turn to eat! We are in hell 💔😂
The humiliation of poverty, unemployment and living from hand to mouth. Guys, I went home to my mom, all I had was colourful papers with nice titles on them. How do I navigate occupying two stools? I am privileged because I am "educated" but my blackness always disqualifies me😭
I am hyperventilating thinking about this. You do not want to know how bitter I was guys. Realizing that I was sold lies. I grew up believing education is the key to success. You get the key and lock changes. I see too many graduates with qualifications &experience yet unemployed
I have never had a permanent job in my whole life so this is a big deal for me— I’m 32 and I have never had that type of security. Grateful to God, my previous employer and the new one for entrusting me with this formidable opportunity and hope to make them proud. ❤️✨🙌🏿
We share our lives and truths on social media with the hopes that we can inspire others and let them know they are not alone. We are honest and raw about ourselves because we are on a journey of healing and sharing. To have your struggles and pain thrown back in your face hurts
Savanna is mostly bought and drank and tweeted about by black women, that is obviously the market that supports it. Interestingly the ads and influencer gigs always go to men and this disconnect shows me that Savanna needs to go back to the drawing board and rebrand. Pronto!
In conclusion, we will die at the alter of black excellence because, this excellence panders to whiteness and only a few blacks are allowed to occupy these spaces, we break our backs trying to be the first/only black and even then it is not enough, it will never be enough...
Also the stereotype that Tsonga and Venda make us multilingual as most of us speak Nguni and N/S Sotho languages whereas Nguni people don’t even bother to learn to say hello in our tongue. It’s superiority complex that makes you think you don’t need to learn our tongue but we-
Be honest, when you think about conventionally attractive people, who do you rate higher in your hierarchy? Does our features and dark skin color make you automatically put Limpopo at the bottom? Y’all do to Limpopo tribes what colonialists do to y’all. It’s time for reckoning.
It’s also not just reserved for Tsonga and Venda, Limpopo as a province is disrespected in this country. I am thinking of groups such as Balobedu who aren’t even recognized as an official language in the constitution- so much erasure, invisibilization and tokenization is done
Me, Paballo Chauke, an ambitious and persistent human being from Soshanguve South, will be part of a team — empowering scientists in LMICs to use genetic data for the purpose of public health and malaria research. What an exciting opportunity and impactful journey lies ahead!
I’m aware of how my being a writer, speaker/thinker, my being loud and flamboyant in most spaces where I get frowned upon aids in my success — like me or hate me, you’ll know Paballo Chauke, you’ll see me no matter how hard you try to erase or silence me. You’ll hear me— LOUDLY!
They shamed the VC of UCT with a PhD in mathematics and questioned her qualifications and made her prove herself. They shamed multiple black leaders and shame blacks without education daily but now it doesn't matter. I'm not okay
#Steenhuisen
You can’t self love your way out of the natural need for companionship, humans are social beings and self love doesn’t replace the need for other types of love.
I’m also wearing red pants, my mom’s favourite colour. Everything in our house was red or had a red tinge to it, she even bought me a red leather jacket which friends used to tease me about. Mama, I hope you are proud of me and I thank you for being a strong ancestor and angel 😇
I do not want to racialise this, but unemployment and unfair remuneration in our country does not exist in a vacuum, it is seen along racial lines. Capable and qualified Blacks have to perform poverty porn on twitter begging for jobs on a daily. Stand on streets handing out CVs
The violence does ultimately become physical but most of it is seen in discourse around and about Tsonga and Venda people as being dark, ugly, not belonging and existing in the periphery so the jokes are not funny as they have tangible ramifications on peoples lives
company/coorporate in Cape Town. R3000 does not even cover rent, how are people supposed to live on this? Food, rent, transport? Kids, family, black tax? Haibo, that time you are even qualified. Guys meritocracy is a myth, a joke, a punchline. 70% of South Africans earn 5k/pm
Milan Kundera said that “the struggle of man against power, is the struggle of memory against forgetting”.
From this quote one can tell that there is power in memory and not forgetting oneself in the fight against the power structures that be. Fight erasure— See yourself! DAILY!
Laughing at how my excellence and proximity to wealth/whiteness was never rewarded. UCT cum laude graduation etc was never enough because it was my hyper visibility that got me recognised and finally got my wins. I’m very intentional about branding & visibility because I know
There’s a reason why I tell my story boldly and loudly and refuse to wear shame on a daily basis — I am aware of what it means and how it makes those in power uncomfortable but I do it anyway. I’m called to render visible those in my bloodline who were historically erased.
“My mom taught me how to LEAVE— broken, confused & gaslighted. She taught me how to pick up the million pieces & mend myself after being spilled… I know how to not overstay my welcome & to leave anything, in fact everything — and rebuild —from scratch”❤️
You are what happens when hard scientists and engineers are not taught humanities or social science courses. You graduate cum laude and on time but you lack empathy and interdisciplinary skills to deal with the complex issues facing our societies. I am scared for your students.
I went to a township school with no library, computer or science lab,& no internet. I started using a computer in my first year & had to get lessons during orientation to be able to operate one. My story is not unique—my qualm is how online learning excludes many students like me
I’m looking forward to collaborating with global scientists in the fight against malaria, especially those who reside in malaria endemic countries. I’m excited to learn, teach, coordinate and facilitate and work with my team in whatever way to make a difference and contribution.
I Fucked up and triggered myself but I appreciate Viola Davis for her honesty and verve. To unashamedly narrate your story of poverty and struggle no matter the sensationalism and exceptionalism— refusing to be silent or used as an example to bash fellow povvos down.
Then there are also invariably major consequences for being a poor person who dares to challenge the status quo and demands to be seen and heard by a world that would rather have him vanish and surreptitiously hide in corners because of shame and unbelonging. How dare you?! Run!
I am honored to announce that I’m a Malaria Champion—joining others from across the world to TURN UP THE PRESSURE BY DRAWING THE LINE AGAINST MALARIA. Share this film: to be a part of the worldwide
#ZeroMalariaStartsWithMe
movement
#AfricaDay
#ZeroMalaria
I successfully completed my 6 months probation at my new job. I can confidently say that I’m officially employed by the best genomic science institution in the world based in the UK. So excited for what the future holds for me, my team & network! Grateful for support 🥂❤️🙏🏿🤌🏿✨
Some good news for the tl
My nephew is a first year student at Rhodes University. I was able to pay his registration fee, initial tuition and residence fees (even took out loans) because I didn’t want him to not study. I dropped him off at varsity and even spent a week with him
*whispers*
My mother’s death gnaws at my soul, I can’t find the words to express how deeply her passing has hit me. I wanted her to see me win, to show her life can be good for her too. To get a breakthrough in the year she passed was bitter sweet. I grieve her death daily 🕊❤️
Hey you! Stop downplaying your achievements and deflecting compliments. Learn to receive as much you give and fight the imposter syndrome with everything you have in you. You belong here and you worked for your accomplishments — humility is not a virtue. Celebrate your wins ✨💛
Learn your languages with ease, not because we actually want to but because we have to. I for one can converse in all languages in SA, that was because of my own surroundings but also for survival, it’s a danger as dark skinned giant not to speak Zulu. Ndithi wena ndololwane
UCT was wild for me, it was my first time interacting with whiteness and wealth in close proximity, it was weird because I was in class with people who have domestic workers at home and I come in as a son of a domestic worker and that shock is one of the reasons why I failed.
Epiphany: Seeing white mediocrity rule and win while (black) excellence scrapes for crumbs from the table is demoralizing, what do we then? Do we continue working twice as hard to get half of what they have or do we also play to our weak points and rig the system to win?
UCT is wild bra, you go to class with children of presidents, ministers, judges, celebrities and they all act “normal” and drink your black label with you when they can afford champagne and something about that is disingenuous to me.
I have a weird relationship with "excellence" or black excellence. I know I am excellent and have potential to be even more excellent, but I reach points of being discouraged because how do I continue aching to be excellent when my former excellence has never been rewarded...