Austen Allred @Austen Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@iaiosan

@SlaughterS03

@tsaocaro

@Mizoram_Tourism

@Takejizaiten

@Lostlogicsai

@poetrywales

@OERRBlog

@UnvarnishedRuth

@hijabjilbab1

@noberax

@fearless0527

@jeffreykam

@QuadAxel3Toe

@BravinYuri

@mayssamnehme

@saveelderstz

@KatzeroCheshir

@OnetWiadomosci

@Dacarrct

@searchmartin

@HironEnnes

@3lFR8Z1F5efVC46

@ArthroscopyJ

@UKDRI

@DanieCortesB

@XWAUK

@UnDeadAsylum_

@LCGrizzlyFB

@lueV9iNJag8EPp1

@ermetemedici

@HHS_VA_Sports

@certezamente

@zarzoubeautyHQ

@dvarjk

@Laglad

Austen Allred

@Austen

3 years

Programmers can literally just sit down at a computer and create value for people out of thin air

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Austen Allred

@Austen

1 year

I was very very sad when I learned the Domino’s pizza tracker is entirely fake (based solely on time since order), but I have to commend whatever engineer suggested doing that instead of spending $200 million building out the infrastructure to support it being real

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Austen Allred

@Austen

1 month

Six-year-old: “Dad why do you have to go to work?” Me: “If I didn’t go to work who would buy your transformers?” Six-year-old: “Dad the money for transformers doesn’t come from your work. I pay for those by doing extra chores.”

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Austen Allred

@Austen

2 years

“The world is not driven by greed, it's drive by envy.” — Charlie Munger

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Austen Allred

@Austen

1 year

Yahoo bought a platform that was 90% porn for $1.1 Billion and subsequently banned the porn. Really wild decision making.

Pop Base

@PopBase

1 year

Former Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer reveals she regrets buying Tumblr instead of Netflix or Hulu. Yahoo bought Tumblr in 2013 for $1.1 billion, but by the time it was sold in 2019, the value of the platform was reportedly down to $3 million.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

5 months

This is what the ultimate male friendship looks like

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Austen Allred

@Austen

22 days

To rent Dune 2 is $24.99. To buy Dune 2 is $29.99. 10/10 pricing strategy. Congratulations to all involved.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

1 month

This happens all the time. Universities very literally are not training you for a job as a software engineer. They are training you in the academic field of the science of computing.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

1 month

Everyone is ripping on this girl for feeling entitled to a more impressive job just because of her degrees. But some of the responsibility should be shared by the people who told her for 20 years if she just got degrees people would be begging to hire her.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

4 years

The default math class in high school should be Statistics instead of Calculus

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Austen Allred

@Austen

3 years

What a year of staying off Twitter does to you

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Austen Allred

@Austen

10 months

Incredible

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Austen Allred

@Austen

10 months

New mortgage math is brutal. Say you buy a $1m house with $200k down at a 7% rate ($800k mortgage). Over the first three years you pay $193k ($5,322/mo.) After those $193k of payments your $800k mortgage is now at $774.5k. You paid $166k in interest, $25.5k in principle.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

2 years

Honestly surprised we’re not hearing a little more about the whole, “China has locked down a city of 28.5 million people and they’re starting to go hungry” thing

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Austen Allred

@Austen

10 months

By the time a man is 40 he must choose an intellectual hobby. These are the only options: 1. World War II 2. Genghis Kahn 3. Greeks/Romans 4. Napoleon 5. Revolutionary + Civil War 6. Model trains I don’t make the rules.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

1 year

Joe Rogan: “My dad was abusive and manipulative.” Joe Rogan’s dad: “That’s not true! I could beat you up right now. Also, I will reveal negative things about you unless you do what I say.”

Benny P 🇦🇺

@Bendaman2001

1 year

Apparently Joe Rogans Biological father is calling out Joe Rogan on TikTok

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Austen Allred

@Austen

6 months

For real though can I hire this courtroom portrait artist

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Austen Allred

@Austen

6 months

“Nah I don’t even use that social network anymore.” “Why?” “IBM and Comcast stopped posting there.”

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Austen Allred

@Austen

13 days

It’s difficult to describe how insane a 25% tax on unrealized capital gains is. Not a one-time 25% hit. It’s compounding, annually taking 25% of every dollar of potential increase before it can grow. Not an exaggeration to say it could single-handedly crush the economy.

Mike Beckham

@mikebeckhamsm

14 days

Taxes on unrealized capital gains is the most absurd galaxy brain idea ever conceived

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Austen Allred

@Austen

1 year

People are saying twitter is going to go down as if the way servers stay up is a bunch of infra engineers sitting in the back room pedaling stationary bikes to power the racks

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Austen Allred

@Austen

3 months

This is one of the craziest things I’ve ever read. First, the FAA gave secret code words to students in the Black Caucus of Federal Aviation Employees to put in their resume that would skip them to the front of the line. In another instance of the signals to go to the front of…

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Austen Allred

@Austen

1 year

“I’m going to quit tech and go work on a farm” is really compelling if you don’t know what working on a farm is like

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Austen Allred

@Austen

10 months

The Boston Globe

@BostonGlobe

10 months

Cambridge Public Schools eliminated advanced math in middle school with the aim of reducing disparities between low-income children of color and their more affluent peers. But some families and educators argue the decision has had the opposite effect.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

1 year

If Twitter actually went from 7,500 people to ~900 people, And you assume a $200k/person/yr cost, Headcount costs at Twitter just went from $1.5 Billion/yr to $180 Million/yr.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

5 months

Hahahahaha

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Austen Allred

@Austen

1 year

Community Notes my favorite Twitter feature in a long time. I mean, how do you get such very basic details wrong? And now if you do it’s there for all to see.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

6 months

You have to admit it's pretty funny that San Francisco will clean itself up practically overnight when an important Communist comes to visit

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Austen Allred

@Austen

7 months

I don’t know who is telling these kids that a generic degree is equivalent to experience or makes you qualified for high-paying roles, but it simply does not

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Austen Allred

@Austen

10 months

A snail travels around 1mm/s. That’s 31.54 km/yr (19.6 miles/yr) assuming it never rests. It would take 126 years to travel from LA to NYC (ignoring sleep/rest and geography). Common garden snails only live 2-5 years, so it would likely die within 100 miles. Take the money.

internet hall of fame

@InternetH0F

10 months

what’s your choice?

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Austen Allred

@Austen

28 days

A random thing someone told me once that I now think about constantly: If you feel like you hate everyone, eat. If you feel like everyone hates you, sleep. If you feel like you hate yourself, shower. If you feel like everyone hates everyone, go outside.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

5 months

It’s still absolutely wild to me that people are like, “OK I have $100 million dollars I’m going to donate. I know what I’ll do! I’ll make Harvard’s endowment grow from $52.3 Billion to $52.4 Billion.”

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Austen Allred

@Austen

2 years

How you feel about Elon Musk is how you feel about yourself

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Austen Allred

@Austen

18 days

This is one of the craziest videos I’ve ever seen. Harry Mack is incredible.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

5 months

Breaking Bad

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Austen Allred

@Austen

10 months

Tried to grab a Starlink for a family camping trip but was too short notice to have it shipped on time. Look on Facebook marketplace and people are *renting them out* for $25-30/day. Guy has 7 of them, all fully rented. He’s clearing almost $5k/month by renting out Starlinks.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

1 year

Business Insider openly admitting that they don’t care (or check) whether what they’re publishing is true or not because they said “reportedly” in the headline

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Austen Allred

@Austen

6 years

I find it hard to believe people are using Siri and are still convinced AI will take away all of our jobs

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Austen Allred

@Austen

13 days

An example to show how insane this is: You're a founder and you start a company. You own... let's say 30% of it. Everything is booming, you raise a round that values the company at at $500 million. You now personally owe $37.5 million in taxes. This year. In cash.

Austen Allred

@Austen

13 days

It’s difficult to describe how insane a 25% tax on unrealized capital gains is. Not a one-time 25% hit. It’s compounding, annually taking 25% of every dollar of potential increase before it can grow. Not an exaggeration to say it could single-handedly crush the economy.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

5 months

I keep seeing this floating around, but we need to get something straight: The McAllisters from Home Alone were *never* a middle class family. They were very clearly extremely wealthy.

SamuelGoldman

@SWGoldman

5 months

Working on vacation plans and thinking about how an ordinary middle-class family used to be able to afford a first class trip to Paris for 12.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

2 months

Working on a farm for one week would cure this itch

Nat Miletic

@natmiletic

2 months

The longer you spend in tech, the stronger the urge to buy a farm and never touch a computer again in your life

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Austen Allred

@Austen

10 months

It’s tough out there

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Austen Allred

@Austen

2 years

This app is absolutely out of control

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Austen Allred

@Austen

10 months

Omg they figured out a way to summon the police in San Francisco

Wayne Sutton

@waynesutton

10 months

Welp, @twitter name so coming off the building right now but @elonmusk didn’t get permit for the equipment on the street so @SFPD is shutting it down.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

5 months

Why the hell did T-Pain become known for use of autotune when dude can sing like that?

Eric Nathan

@BarstoolNate

5 months

T-Pain Singing "Tennessee Whiskey" Is The Best Cover In The History Of Recorded Music

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Austen Allred

@Austen

9 months

I absolutely love that Apple announced all of this at the same time

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Austen Allred

@Austen

25 days

Has any food establishment gotten worse at a rate comparable to Chipotle? The decline is incredible.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

3 years

Mark Zuckerberg didn’t found Facebook until he was 19. Evan Spiegel didn’t found Snapchat until he was 23. The Collison brothers didn’t found Stripe until they were 22 and 20. It’s never too late to start a company.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

2 years

At a minimum you have to admit that Elon Musk being the richest person on earth is pretty entertaining

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Austen Allred

@Austen

13 days

It’s time to repost one of my favorite tweets ever

Clover Hogan

@cloverhogan

13 days

The most insidious form of climate denial is no longer, "It's not happening," but the belief that incremental or tech solutions will solve this crisis. 1/6

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Austen Allred

@Austen

11 months

🤔

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Austen Allred

@Austen

2 months

🚨🚨🚨 One of the richest men on the planet (the one who has started the successful electric car and rocket companies) isn’t smart. The longtime comms professor has seen enough and is CALLING IT.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

8 months

Community Notes makes me wonder how much clearly fake stuff we used to see and simply believe

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Austen Allred

@Austen

4 months

This is important because once you run water over something to cool it down the water ceases to exist

james.

@notmybagman

4 months

There it is

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Austen Allred

@Austen

1 year

Can’t decide if this is more funny if it’s satire or if it isn’t

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Austen Allred

@Austen

11 months

California’s High-Speed Rail project was originally estimated to cost $33 Billion. Now they’ve spent $9.8 Billion, no track has been laid, and they estimate it will cost another $100B+ to complete. For a single system that will be about 800 miles long. Honestly impressive.

地獄ケーキ(Hokusaist)👹🐉🗡️🇺🇸

@JigokuCake

11 months

Doing the annual check-in with California's high speed rail program. No track laid yet, but it Looks like we got a new estimate on the final project, putting it at a cool $128,000,000,000.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

4 months

It’s kind of crazy that the culture of golf and skiing are, “Just leave your thousands of dollars of equipment wherever, it’ll be fine.”

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Austen Allred

@Austen

6 months

Not gonna lie Sam has a point here

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Austen Allred

@Austen

3 years

An incredible moment from a 60 Minutes episode about Amazon in 1999. "A couple of geeks who sketched out some software... could destroy Sears Roebuck?!" He can barely stop from laughing.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

2 years

We DO NOT throw away perfectly good food in this house. We put the leftovers in Tupperware, put the Tupperware in the fridge, let it go bad, THEN throw it out.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

2 months

…wait what?

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Austen Allred

@Austen

3 years

If your job involves being paid well to sit in a climate controlled room all day and do something you find interesting know you’re one of the luckiest people to ever walk the earth

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Austen Allred

@Austen

3 months

Oh well there is that

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Austen Allred

@Austen

3 months

How on earth did this hellish thing become the default light fixture?

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Austen Allred

@Austen

3 years

I think about this all the time

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Austen Allred

@Austen

1 year

Compare the New York Times treatment of: 1. Coinbase having layoffs. 2. FTX defrauding customers, going bankrupt, and disappearing ~$10 Billion of other peoples’ money.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

5 months

Freedom of religion, except we pass a law that requires you to open your store during your holy day of rest somehow

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Austen Allred

@Austen

1 year

We’re building Twitter in public now. Wild.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

11 months

"Don't learn to code. Soon GUIs will do it all for you." - 1985 "Don't learn to code. Soon that will all be done offshore for pennies." - 2003 "Don't learn to code. Soon nocode tools will do it all for you." - 2015 "Don't learn to code. Soon AI will do it all for you." - 2023

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Austen Allred

@Austen

2 years

I know I’ll get slammed for this but I don’t care: I feel very lucky we live in a time where we get to watch Elon Musk.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

5 months

Wow

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Austen Allred

@Austen

9 months

PSA: If you’ve wanted to travel to Maui, it’s probably the best time ever to visit (other than Lahaina proper). Beaches are empty. Airbnbs, hotels, rental cars are at 1/4 the usual price. Flights into Maui are empty. Lahaina is closed. Rest of the island is safe and desperate.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

6 years

People generally underestimate two things 1. How hard it is to get your foot in the door as an outsider. I lived in a car for months in Palo Alto with no prospects, connections or money to break into Silicon Valley 2. How wide doors are open once you’re on the inside and hustle

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Austen Allred

@Austen

8 days

This email goes so hard

Colin and Samir ✌🏼✌🏾

@ColinandSamir

8 days

YouTube is a ticket to the extraordinary One (really good) video turned Harvard student Wesley Wang into the youngest director in history to set up a movie at a major studio

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Austen Allred

@Austen

2 years

Elon Musk’s net worth is reportedly $274 Billion. There’s a very good chance Tesla and SpaceX grow another 4x+ from here. It seems pretty likely Elon will become a trillionaire. Politicians will absolutely lose it.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

1 year

Crazy that these were built in the 1960s

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Austen Allred

@Austen

3 months

“50 grams of protein is the average daily protein requirement!” These people hate you.

Ramp Capital

@RampCapitalLLC

3 months

100% chance a vegan wrote this

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Austen Allred

@Austen

1 month

Wait so if you’re in the EU is there a cookie popup banner on basically every website you visit? Lol

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Austen Allred

@Austen

1 month

“Everyone knows this, Austen. People aren’t getting CS degrees in order to become software engineers!” Yeah? Show me the brochure the admissions team hands out to people interested in the Computer Science program.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

2 months

I’ve come to believe the attitude “there is no task beneath me” is among the most important attributes of those who are excellent in any company

JJ

@JosephJacks_

2 months

This is why NVIDIA wins.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

10 months

Kid: “I’m being bullied constantly, and I need friends. Do you know anyone who can be my friend?” Neighbors: “No, but here’s forty thousand dollars for some reason.”

No Jumper

@nojumper

10 months

Neighbors raised almost $40K for bullied boy who knocked on their door looking for friends

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Austen Allred

@Austen

7 months

I regret to inform you SEOs have figured out how to game appending "reddit" to Google searches. This is the first result for 'best gaming pc 2023 reddit'.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

1 year

If Steve Jobs were still alive when this thing came out entire divisions of the company would have been fired immediately

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Austen Allred

@Austen

2 years

Somehow I missed that when Biden announced a pardon for everyone in prison for federal marijuana possession… That pardon applies to literally no one?

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Austen Allred

@Austen

2 months

Somebody told me this was a quote published in Scientific American and I was so skeptical I had to Google it and see. Unbelievable.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

3 months

The thing that drives me crazy about reversing Elon’s comp plan is he called his shot, took no cash, and did what virtually everyone thought was impossible. Then after he does the impossible you call it unreasonable, but only in retrospect. After everyone was made rich.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

3 months

I’m not sure I fully understand… How can a judge reverse a target-based compensation package after 80% of shareholders voted for it and the target has been hit?

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Austen Allred

@Austen

11 months

Apple acquired Siri more than 13 years ago and so far as I can tell stopped working on it that day

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Austen Allred

@Austen

7 months

You have to be careful before you dismiss the earliest versions of any technology

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Austen Allred

@Austen

1 month

Nah, Apple would simply disable your camera when you delete the photos app. They have ways to comply the EU couldn’t fathom.

Apple Hub

@theapplehub

1 month

The EU could force Apple to let iPhone users delete the Photos app This would require a massive rewriting of iOS

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Austen Allred

@Austen

10 months

My Facebook/Instagram social graph is basically all the people I knew in High School. “A place where you can read all the Twitter-like thoughts of the people you follow on Instagram” sounds like a special hell.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

1 year

McDonald’s is the point of highest preference falsification in society. Nobody claims to like it or go there. $23 Billion/yr revenue.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

4 months

Alright some very quick (assumptive) analysis: 1. Looks like the company was nuking most of the sales org. If they’re keeping <25% of an org the calculus isn’t, “Are they doing a good job and have we given them a fair shake?” It’s more, “Who are the top performers we need to…

SMB Attorney

@SMB_Attorney

4 months

Getting fired is tough, but it’s important to handle it with dignity. Firing someone is also hard, requiring compassion and respect. Total disaster on both sides here.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

3 months

The entire point of marriage is that you and your spouse agree to not think this way

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Austen Allred

@Austen

3 years

* Woman buys $2.8 million house in rich San Francisco suburb * Completely decks it out in a Flintstones theme * Is told by the city it is an eyesore and needs to come down * Takes the city to court and wins What a badass. I love this lady. Long love your giant Flintstones house.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

2 years

As startups grow there is extremely strong pull into what I call the death spiral of bullshit. More people -> more teams -> more buy-in required -> more meetings -> being persuasive rewarded more than building -> builders leave -> nothing gets done

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Austen Allred

@Austen

1 year

Prediction: SBF is going to get away with it

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Austen Allred

@Austen

1 year

this has to be the best feature Apple has ever made

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Austen Allred

@Austen

1 year

POV: You married well

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Austen Allred

@Austen

10 months

I can’t get over how stupid it is that employment and health insurance are so directly tied together in the United States. If you lose your job you lose health insurance at the precise moment you lose the ability to pay for health insurance.

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Austen Allred

@Austen

7 months

Twitter should have a feature where if a tweet you saw/liked/shared later gets community noted you get a notification that what you saw was fake

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