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ASHLY’S KNOCKERS Profile
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS

@AshlySchwan

165,903
Followers
355
Following
577
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apparently i’m too slutty for most platforms, so to see more of me, CLICK THE LINK👇🏼

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Joined November 2011
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
CAN EVERYONE LOOK AT WHAT SHE DID WITH HER PACK OF OREOS!!!?!!
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
4 years
this. is. art.
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
JESUS. FUCKING. CHRIST. tell every single one of your loved ones that you love them. like... NOW. you really NEVER know when your best friend, boyfriend, mom, dad, or WHOEVER could be gone forever in a blink of an eye.
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
. @Snapchat i think we all agree ur new app logo is fucking ugly and u need to change it back
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
THE LAST TIME @Jenna_Marbles USED HER INTRO WAS AUGUST 15, 2018. THAT MEANS I HAVEN’T NOTICED FOR ABOUT 7 MONTHS AND I FEEL SO ASHAMED.
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
AHHHHHHH TANA VOICING-OVER (he who shall not be named)’s NAME WITH JAKE’S NAME, JUST SENT ME OFF OF MY ROOF
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
4 years
tana just had to get a full body pat down in airport security because of her NIPPLE PIERCING
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
i love checking my bffs location & it just says “calabasas” oh she rich rich now, huh?
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
i’ll NEVER understand how people can just listen to country music and be like “holy shit! did u hear that cowbell & banjo!? 😱 THAT SHIT SLAPS!!”
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
2 years
i don’t wanna BeReal i wanna BeRailed
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
6 years
TANA FORGOT HER ID TODAY AT THE PORNHUB AWARDS SO SHE USED MY ID AND SAID “THIS IS ME, I’M ASHLY SCHWAN, BUT MY STAGE NAME IS TANA MONGEAU” AND THEY LET HER IN BAHAHAHAHA 💀💀💀
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
4 years
wait... do i like girls?
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
4 years
hey @instagram why are you deleting my cute halloween photos with my bestie?? i would say we look respectful & cute?? 😭
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
4 years
i cant believe even my own boyfriend thought girls stick PADS to their pussies/ LEGS... 🤯
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
4 years
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHMY BESTFRIEND @tanamongeau JUST WON THE CREATOR OF THE YEAR AWARD... so basically she’s a really REALLY big deal now, no photos please, she’s too good for us 😭❤️👏🏼
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
so michael just got home and i was super happy to see him & i go “GUESS WHAT I GOT!!!” & he goes “more annoying??!”
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
6 years
Post Malone landed safely ALEXA, play Congratulations
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
6 years
everyone: “what’s it like being in your friend group?” me: “ever seen the show survivor?”
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
Nobody: Literally nobody: *Tana*:
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
6 years
every time i take melatonin @shanedawson is in my dream and i’m not mad about it
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
what it’s like dating me👇🏼
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
tbh, i LOVE when one of my long ass acrylics comes off, cause then i can have at least one useful finger, and that’s all i really need
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
THIS LITTLE BOY ON VENTURA JUST ASKED TANA “if i do a kick flip will you give me a kiss?!” LIKE... AW? but like, no?
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
THE GIRL WHO JUST DID MY HAIR AT DRYBAR THOUGHT I WAS TANA AND MADE MY HAIR PIN-STRAIGHT AND PARTED DOWN THE MIDDLE AHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
well shit, looks like i’m getting married now too
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
4 years
It’s Tana I’m in Ashly’s twitter I had to turn her notifications off for someone silly! Hey Ash ;)
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
3 years
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
hot family summer 🔥❤️
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
4 years
last night i was so exhausted from a photoshoot that i passed in the living room, and @tanamongeau was trying to wake me up by screaming various things like “WAKE UP THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE” the only thing that she screamed that woke me up was “CHEESY GORDITA CRUNCH” 💀
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
6 years
as soon as tana and i sit down on our flight, the man sitting next to us asks us what we do for work, and then tells us he’s in the porn business. his cell phone just rang and it’s just people singing, “MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW” ...MAHALO!
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
bad drivers who think it’s cute and quirky to text while driving with me in the car, make me want to rip their breaks out 🤗
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
4 years
so i’m sitting here eating half baked ice cream, and my 25 YEAR OLD BF goes “can i try that, i’ve never had it before?” like what kind of psychopath lives 25 years without going through at least 100 pints of half baked??????
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
i just cried to a security guard to get FRONT ROW at my little brothers graduation. oh, how reality TV has changed me ALREADY
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
4 years
do you ever just get the CLOSEST shave, put on some new VS panties (like CUT THE TAG OFF), do your hair and makeup, and then start BLEEDING OUT PROFUSELY... bc me too :/
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
a nose job would be life changing for me
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
4 years
i just tried to fix this crinkle in tanas hair, then i realized its probably from cum and i immediately stopped. kinda wanna die now?
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
i don’t get insecure around other hot girls, my back just starts arching a little more 🤷🏼‍♀️
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
6 years
tana mongeau saying “KIAN LAWLEY WILL NEVER FUCK ME” for 10 minutes straight. wya???
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
4 years
i was having a bad day cause my new video isn’t doing good at all, then SHANE DAWSON!!! yes u heard me, THE SHANE DAWSON just LIKED AND COMMENTED on my instagram photo for the first time and suddenly.... i can breathe again 💚
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
TANA JUST ATE OLD BROKEN UP PIECES OF GUM FROM THE BOTTOM OF HER ASSISTANTS BAG #BirthdayGoals
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
i just ordered TAMPONS on @Postmates and they delivered me TWO BOTTLES OF WINE?????? I NEED TAMPONS... WTF
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
HALEY AND I ALMOST DROVE INTO ONCOMING TRAFFIC TRYING TO FOLLOW JEFFREE STAR AND NOW CARS ARE HONKING AT US AND WE LOST HIM😭
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
WHY IS THE SUN SETTING AT 4PM!!???!??! I CAN ALREADY FEEL MY SEASONAL DEPRESSION KICKING IN 🥴
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
i don’t understand how i order the same exact drink at starbucks every time, yet it always tastes significantly different???
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
4 years
is no one going to talk about trisha reviewing “chick-fil-a spicy chicken sandwiches” for the first time over and over again? cause i’m living for it
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ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
uber driver: “what are you getting all dolled up for?” me: “i’m going to the grammy’s this weekend, my boyfriend got nominated for 3” uber driver: “so when’s the wedding???”
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
TANA AND I JUST WAITED AT BAGGAGE CLAIM FOR TWO WHOLE PLANES WORTH OF LUGGAGE UNTIL WE REALIZED IT WAS THE WRONG FUCKING AIRLINE’S LUGGAGE AND WE’RE LITERALLY LOW ON TIME ALREADY
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
4 years
michael goes “until she dates a football player, omg i love sports!! hehe”
@tanamongeau
Tana Mongeau
4 years
when u have super bowl tickets but get so drunk the night before u don’t go hehe did someone make a home run i love basketball :/
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ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
4 years
@tanamongeau i don’t hate you?
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
4 years
i don’t know who made tana and i, but they accidentally gave us the same exact brain somehow
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
4 years
note to self: on instagram- •i CANNOT show: my cakes, cleavage, or wear a bikini •i CAN show: my pussy lips ...got it
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
i get so weirded out when i think about people having thoughts. like talking to yourself all day everyday, in ur head. like we’re all silent crackheads. just me?
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
this weekend’s bout to be 𝔰𝔩𝔲𝔱𝔱𝔶
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
4 years
last night at 5am my brain just wanted to remind me of how fucked next level up my childhood was. ask me how i slept
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
6 years
tana is on the phone right now telling them that “she is on her way, walking outside to her uber” while in the bathroom rubbing self tanner on her body HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
4 years
i have a weird feeling i’m gonna get railed today...
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
nobody: tana: ASHLY GOT A BOOB JOB
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
does ur brain ever go on COMPLETE auto pilot, and do some weird shit like putt coffee creamer in the dishwasher instead of the fridge?
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
6 years
ur heart ever break a lil when u hear a certain song that reminds u of a certain moment in time?
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
u ever put fake eyelashes on and then think... god i’m such a dirty little slut ...just me?
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
“sHoULd i gO LiGHtEr Or DARkeR” “hmmm i think you should go fuck yourself”
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
i can’t wait to hear this load of BULLSHIT
@KEEMSTAR
KEEM 🍿
5 years
You already know I reported that Brad cheated on you. But many other YouTubers reached out to me asking me to speak with brad. I finally got around to it & I think it’s fair to get his side of events too.
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ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
u can’t be ugly on the inside AND the outside!!!!! u gotta pick one!!!!! 🤞🏼🙏🏼🙌🏻🦶🏻👺🤠🥴🤢🤮😬😐😶🤥🤫🤭🤗🥰😉
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
i could’ve done better tbh
@facetune
FACETUNE
5 years
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ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
4 years
brittni, tana, and i are at cheesecake factory rn (sorry imari) and we order three of the “Little House Salads” as appetizers, and the waiter takes our menus away thinking that that was all we wanted to eat??? like is LA that dainty?!
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
6 years
relationship 101: a healthy relationship will never require you to sacrifice your friends
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ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
i just thanked my boyfriend for helping me hang up some lights and he goes, “it’s okay i’m just your task rabbit that wants a blowjob” 😂
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
6 years
tana just showed me these bruises on her body and as she’s pointing at them, she goes, “they look like the US map” “look like this one’s Africa”
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
4 years
if u wanna say something, say it then
@tanamongeau
Tana Mongeau
4 years
my tits r real
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ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
6 years
so unbothered
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
Me: “Get me a drink” Natalie: “What do you want” Imari: “Three”
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
4 years
how am i still head over heels!!???! i don’t get it!!?!
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
@tanamongeau miss u more!!?!
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
oh, hi 👋
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
7 years
OH MY GOD MY LAST NAME TRANSLATES TO COCK. IM 20 YEARS OLD AND I'M JUST NOW FINDING THIS OUT. MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE.
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ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
today i learned tana wants to fuck me
@tanamongeau
Tana Mongeau
5 years
answering yours & Shane Dawson's INSANE questions under a LIE DETECTOR via @YouTube RT!!!!
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ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
6 years
i love when you’re texting someone that’s in the same room as you and they respond with something like “hahahahaha” or “lmao” but you look over at them and they’re just straight face as fuck ahahaha
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
4 years
okay so where do i buy juvederm & syringes? i’m over this little ugly lips having ass quarantine
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
holy fuck what is this 💀💀💀
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
having a hot boyfriend is life changing
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
i nut for coconut 🥥
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
Youtube’s “skip 10 seconds” feature made my attention span go from a hard 0 to an ever harder -100
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
6 years
this is how tana just walked into the house without saying a word
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
MY COUSIN BRITTNI JUST CALLED TANA AND JAKE “Jana and Take” ON ACCIDENT 🤣
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
4 years
28 just hits SOOO different 😩
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
4 years
i swear to god my kids are gonna have the best skincare routine the minute they’re BORN
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
OFF WHITE BELTS NEED AN EASY WAY OUT (for us dumb hoes) (yes i said it)
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
today my bf and i took my little brother to KBBQ, and we were talking about how the sushi we eat is raw fish, and he thought we were eating that now, AND HE PUT RAW MEAT, like STEAK IN HIS MOUTH. thinking it was the spicy tuna we were talking about. i had to be like SPIT IT OUT
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
can’t wait for our kiddos to be BFFL’S!!! T-7 MONTHS!!! 😝❤️
@tanamongeau
Tana Mongeau
5 years
▬▬▬.◙.▬▬▬ ═▂▄▄▓▄▄▂ ◢◤🙂█▀▀████▄▄◢◤ █▄ █ █▄ ███▀▀▀▀▀╬ 💨 ◥█████◤ ══╩══╩═ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ hey just dropping down to ╬═╬ announce ╬═╬ ╬═╬ ☻/ ╬═╬/o) im pregnant ╬═╬/ \
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ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
7 years
tana always says the rudest shit and then follows her sentence with “no offense” and I just think it’s the funniest thing in the world
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
nobody ever: @elijahdaniel : ANXIETIE TIP!!! 🙈✨😢
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
11 months
if my wrist looks like that, i’ll consider it
@lifeof_mirmir
₄₄₄
1 year
ladies would you tatt yo man name on you??
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
4 years
@shanedawson i volunteer to carry the baby
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
5 years
so the past week i stopped juuling and started drinking hot lemon water in the morning and i think i’m back to my normal self??? kinda good???
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
4 years
no offense but michael getting me a puppy would suck
@whyxlive
paula ✨
5 years
I‘M SCREAMING THIS WORKS
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ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
4 years
twice but who’s counting
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@AshlySchwan
ASHLY’S KNOCKERS
6 years
tana: ”wait can i nap here for 10 minutes.” elijah: ”whether i say yes or no you’re still going to nap here.” tana: “okay goodnight.” elijah: “see you in the morning!”
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