Ashley Blaker @AshleyBlaker Twitter profile

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

10 months

Happy Publication Day to me 🎉🍾 Normal Schmormal is out in the world!

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Last Seen Profiles

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

5 years

A 15 year old just knocked Venus Williams out at Wimbledon. My eldest son turns 15 tomorrow and he's currently in his bedroom playing Fortnite in his underpants.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

5 years

9/9 The comedian’s name is @iamjohnoliver and he’s now one of the biggest comedy stars in the US. The idiots in the restaurant just didn’t realise it.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

8 years

Everyone's quitting at the moment Chris Evans – Ginger David Cameron – Posh Roy Hodgson – Sporty Boris Johnson – Baby Nigel Farage – Scary

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

2 years

My eldest son was diagnosed with autism at 3 and was completely non-verbal until 6. He spent his education moving schools, several of which found him too much hassle. Today he passed his GCSEs in Maths and English. If your child is similar, keep faith. The future is bright.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

5 years

1/9 A friend was telling me about a nightmare gig he had last night and it reminded me of this incredible thing I witnessed. It was around 2002 not long after getting married. My wife and I went to a lunch in a restaurant for her late uncle’s 60th birthday.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

4 years

I’ve just furloughed four of our children. I look forward to seeing them again when this is all over.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

5 years

This Purim I am going to get so drunk I don’t know the difference between anti-Zionism and anti-Semitism.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

5 years

When I was at school in the 80s a teacher called me ‘a damned lazy Jew’. Can you imagine saying that now?! He’d be in the shadow cabinet!

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

5 years

8/9 I booked the comedian on a TV show I produced a couple of years later and I reminded him about this gig. His face went white as I think he’d blocked it out. I don’t blame him. These gigs are horrible.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

7 years

This is one CD I think I’ll be giving a miss.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

4 years

Mazal tov to our Bat Mitzvah girl!! Soroh was 2 years old when we adopted her and over the past ten years she has grown into a wonderful young woman of whom we are all very proud.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

5 years

7/9 He had no mic, no stage, the audience weren’t expecting comedy and were all behaving very disrespectfully. However he was having none of it. He said the comedian was just awful and he should get his money back.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

5 years

5/9 He struggled on for a bit before calling it a day and scuttling off to silence. Some of the guests were almost triumphant in the comedian’s humiliation. I remember my wife and I sat there feeling embarrassed and mortified for this comedian.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

5 years

6/9 My wife’s uncle was angry, not with his guests but with the agency who provided the comedian and said he’d be calling them to demand his money back. I said I could see he was good and that it wasn’t his fault the environment was completely wrong.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

5 years

4/9 He tried his best without a mic or a stage and I could see he had some very good material but no one was interested. In fact the audience behaved quite appallingly and used him for sport, heckling and trying to disrupt him.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

5 years

3/9 The middle-aged Jewish guests were probably expecting Jackie Mason to walk out. Instead it was some fresh-faced young guy who stepped through the doors. He had apparently been booked through an agency and out he came like a lamb to the slaughter.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

5 years

2/9 The whole restaurant had been booked for around 50 mostly middle-aged north London Jews. After about an hour or so my wife's uncle stood up and said they’d hired a comedian to perform. I didn’t know in advance but being a TV comedy producer at the time I was very interested.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

5 years

The old gang back together! So proud to produce a new Little Britain tonight with @realmattlucas and @davidwalliams . ‘Little Brexit’ is coming to @bbcradio4 this Thursday at 6:30pm!!!

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

4 years

I’ve just attended the worst ever Yom Ha’atzmaut party on Zoom.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

4 years

In response to all the anti-Jewish hate on Twitter, I’m proposing a one-day hunger strike starting on Wednesday evening. Who’s with me?

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

4 years

People used to laugh at Orthodox Jews who sat on planes like this. Who's laughing now?!

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

5 years

It is incredible to think this @LFC has more points than any other LFC side at this stage of the season. That's teams with Dalglish & Rush, Barnes & Beardsley, Keegan & Toshack, Hunt & St John etc etc. If they don't win the league, they aren't bottlers. They are legends.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

4 years

For some reason the rabbi didn't find my Zoom background funny.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

2 months

Back in 2001, Karl Wallinger was a guest on Jammin' on @BBCRadio2 and he performed this version of 'She's The One' about Robbie Williams (and I was very proud to have helped Karl write the new lyrics and deepen their feud). RIP a wonderful musician and lovely man.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

3 years

It’s going to be a New Years with no partying, no enjoying yourself and hours sat bored just worrying about the future. So basically it’s Rosh Hashanah.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

4 years

If the original tweet wasn’t bad enough, they’ve since made it worse by effectively saying that there are ‘good Jews’ who share our views and ‘bad Jews’ who don’t. No other group of people in the world gets this kind of treatment. Please stop it now.

#BlackLivesMatterUK

@ukblm

4 years

As Israel moves forward with the annexation of the West Bank, and mainstream British politics is gagged of the right to critique Zionism, and Israel’s settler colonial pursuits, we loudly and clearly stand beside our Palestinian comrades. FREE PALESTINE.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

3 years

Today is not only World Down Syndrome Awareness Day, it’s also the 10th anniversary of Soroh moving into our home. Ten years on and the little two year-old girl we adopted is now a wonderful young woman and it’s hard to imagine our family without her. #LotsofSocks #WDSD2021

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

5 years

@GaryLineker In fairness, Liverpool didn't give up a substantial lead last season, they got 97 points! It's just City got even more. Sometimes another team is just better.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

4 years

Twenty years ago today I produced the very first episode of Little Britain with @RealMattLucas and @davidwalliams . This makes me feel very old.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

5 years

No one was happier last night than my 12 year old son who got @davidwalliams and @RealMattLucas to sign his drawing of his favourite Little Britain characters.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

6 years

I’ll never forget watching the 1990 World Cup semi with my best friend Matt Lucas at my parents’ new house. Twenty-eight years on and my parents are still in the same house and @RealMattLucas is still my best friend. Now we just need a different result. #England2018

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

5 years

We watched the @LFC match last night on my computer on the BT Sport page which runs about 60 seconds behind the live game. Knowing this fact, @RealMattLucas messaged me with about a minute to go saying 'Oh no. Gutted for you' just to pull my leg. I can laugh about it now. #LFC

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

3 years

If Spurs can resist the temptation to pull out for another day, it will be the longest they've stayed in a European competition since 1984.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

4 years

With all this free time I’ve decided to finally binge watch the news from the beginning. I’ve already got up to the Angela Rippon era. Please, no spoilers.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

4 years

I can vividly remember my first kiss. It was a siddur which I dropped on the floor, but it still counts.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

4 years

Grange Hill is trending which reminded me of one of the most exciting days of my life while producing ⁦ @RealMattLucas ⁩ Awards.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

5 years

RIP John McCririck. I spent a day filming with him in May 2001 for a scene with @RealMattLucas and every passer-by recognised him and shouted out ‘got any tips John’. And to every single one he replied ‘Odds on you’. He said ‘it’s a nightmare. I can’t even get my own porn mags’.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

4 years

I really enjoyed praying on my own yesterday until I said something in my sermon that I didn’t agree with and now I’ve vowed never to set foot in my own home again.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

4 years

When you buy a mask make sure it doesn’t have four corners as otherwise you have to walk around like this.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

5 years

I couldn’t be happier that @LFC won the European Cup but when I read a tweet like this, there’s a part of me that wishes Spurs had won it instead. What a vile tweet from a vile man.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

8 years

Adopting our daughter was the best decision we ever made. If the opportunity ever comes your way, do consider it! #SupportAdoption

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

8 years

In case you were thinking of going to a theme park this summer, here’s a breakdown of our day at Legoland.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

5 years

#firstantisemiticexperience Someone came at me with a knife. I was only 8 days old.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

3 years

The last few seasons have been incredible but my favourite ever was 2000-01, the year of the cup treble. Gerard Houllier gave us more incredible memories and days out than we thought possible. We’ll always remember and be grateful. RIP Gerard. You let the reds out. Allez allez.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

7 years

Adopting Soroh was one of the most rewarding things we've ever done. If the opportunity ever comes your way do consider it! #SupportAdoption

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

4 years

To anyone who needs help washing their hands, please get in touch. As a Levi I have many years of experience.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

5 years

A Jew and a Muslim walk into a Christian festival.... Great fun to perform with @imranyusuf at @greenbelt World peace starts here.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

1 month

Today is both World Down Syndrome Day and the 13th anniversary of the day our precious daughter moved in with us! We are very lucky to have such a wonderful soul in our midst.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

3 years

BREAKING NEWS: Following secret meetings between the rebbes, the Big Six - Satmar, Bobov, Belz, Vizhnitz, Ger and Skver - are breaking away to form the Chasidic Super League. A sad day for the many smaller chasidic groups who can only dream of taking part.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

4 years

It’s been a difficult Passover, eight of us crammed in the house and unable to get out. Looking forward to normality on Friday: eight of us crammed in the house and unable to get out. But with bread.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

4 years

We’re all Jews now.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

3 years

Time to dust down our homeschool timetable.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

4 years

RIP Eddie Large. Such a big part of my childhood, incredible to think they used to get 15m viewers. It was a thrill to get him on Radio 4 back in 2010 and to stay in touch since. A real gent.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

3 years

Our gorgeous Soroh is adopted & over the last decade many have asked how this happened, if it's hard loving someone else’s child, and why we did it. In Ep 2 of ‘Ashley Blaker: 6.5 Children’ I will answer these questions & more. Starts 11:30am on @BBCRadio4 & then on @BBCSounds .

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

4 years

@GaryLineker @ManCity Does 5th now go into Champions Legaue?! Would love to see Sheffield United vs Barcelona.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

5 years

@stephenpollard What a bastard! And surely at 21 he should be able to choose when to go to bed.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

2 years

Some added context: he is 18 and this was a third attempt. So all the more reason to stress, keep believing. And thank you for the replies of congratulations. He is absolutely over the moon and reacted with a stream of joyful swearing.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

5 years

My 15 year old just came back from two weeks at summer camp. As he walks into the house, his first words are casually asking ‘Have you heard of anal?’ Welcome back.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

6 years

On Friday night, we’ll place the matzos inside three pockets to remember the pockets of anti-Semitism in Egypt. But I’m sure they were only pockets and Pharaoh was sincerely sorry.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

2 years

RIP Gwyneth Powell aka Mrs McCluskey. She felt as much like my Headteacher as the head of the school I actually went to. Was also a delight to work with when she guested on ⁦ @RealMattLucas ⁩ Awards 10 years ago. RIP.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

4 years

Today we enter a really sad period when you can't have a haircut, buy clothes or hold weddings. So basically it's just the past four months again.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

4 years

@InAt40 That description, it's good but it's not right.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

5 years

Maybe we’re ‘interfaith bullies’ but I’m so proud that @imranyusuf and I have brought Jews and Muslims together on our tour. Judging from how Jews have embraced Imran, Katie Hopkins doesn’t speak for them and she can take her vile views with her. We don’t need her support.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

7 years

If yesterday's Ken Livingstone verdict wasn’t bad enough, I was very surprised to see this new Haggadah in the shops.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

4 years

Just went to the men’s mikvah on zoom. Never again!

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

4 years

Happy Passover to all and especially to @RealMattLucas . We just hope your Baked Potato is kosher for Passover. #ThankYouBakedPotato #FeedNHS

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

5 years

Just saw this in a Facebook group. Look what we started @imranyusuf

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

2 years

Celebrating World Down Syndrome Day with our precious daughter Soroh. Our gorgeous girl is becoming a wonderful young woman of whom we’re all very proud. #wdsd2022 #WorldDownSyndromeDay #WorldDownSyndromeDay2022

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

3 years

It’s not long until Chanukah when we will celebrate the miracle of a lockdown we thought would last one month and which has somehow lasted eight months instead.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

8 years

I bet you didn’t realise this music was originally an old chassidic tune.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

4 years

We adopted Soroh so never experienced the anguish having a child with DS may cause some parents. But I hope everyone sees Soroh and people like her for who they are. Special souls, not a cause of upset but someone to cherish for how they were made. #DownSyndromeAwarenessMonth

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

5 years

My @BBCRadio4 show – Ashley Blaker's Goyish Guide to Judaism – is on @BBCSounds . Please have a listen to the show that has the #JC4PM crowd calling me 'a fucking wanker', 'a horrible racist twat' and worst of all ' @stephenpollard is a fan it seems'.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

5 years

BIG NEWS: NEW UK TOUR STARTING MAY 2019! The descendants of Abraham may have gone their separate ways but from May 2019 I’ll be joining forces with my good friend @imranyusuf to form the most unlikely double-act since Kermit and Miss Piggy (who neither Imran nor I can eat!)

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

4 years

Over the years I’ve seen countless posts from people at Broadway shows holding up their Playbill. I’ve posted a few of these photos myself. But I definitely never thought one day I’d post a photo holding up a Playbill for my own show!! Opens at @sohoplayhouse tomorrow.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

6 years

It's a sad reflection on my intelligence that I can't honestly say I understand anything Stephen Hawking ever wrote but I can easily recall five catchphrases Jim Bowen last used on Bullseye 23 years ago.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

5 years

Waking up to the news that an anti-Semite has been voted into Parliament in Peterborough. What a time to be a Jew living in the UK.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

4 years

Gatherings of more than six are banned from Monday, so it’s with regret that we’re letting go of our two eldest children. We wish them well with their future endeavours.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

4 years

Mazal tov to our bar mitzvah boy Simi. It goes without saying I would have invited every single one of my Twitter followers to a dinner at The Savoy but alas the new rules in London prevent it. Sorry!

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

4 years

Wishing a very happy birthday to my good friend ⁦ @RealMattLucas ⁩. We haven’t changed a bit over the years.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

3 years

There are three times a year that Jewish people are forbidden to enjoy regular music and are forced to listen to annoying acappella songs instead: the Omer, the Three Weeks and Chanukah.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

3 years

I’ve been very fortunate to work with some real greats of TV comedy but it was something extra special to spend time with the great Rabbi Jonathan Sacks z’l. A truly inspirational man, he is a huge loss not just to his family and the Jewish community but the entire world.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

7 years

Lovely to have lunch with birthday boy @RealMattLucas and some of my boys. Wishing you a very happy 43rd birthday Matt (and many more!)

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

5 years

Can't wait to use this new Haggadah in two weeks.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

6 years

A lit candle for @yomhashoahuk . Remembering one four year old who died at Auschwitz and six million other Jews who perished in the Holocaust.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

4 years

Idea for an episode of Grange Hill: Gonch has a business selling loo roll at highly inflated prices but is discovered to have stolen them from the school toilets.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

6 years

I wonder if the cameraman who zooms in at the dartboard after two treble-20s is the same cameraman who zooms in at buzzer questions on University Challenge #TAYvCROSS

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

6 years

'And there’s a million pounds I haven’t won, but just you wait, just you wait.'

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

2 years

Man Utd are now so poor they’d need Hundred Tag to turn it around

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

4 years

This Simchat Torah the rabbis have banned mixed dancing in case it leads to regular dancing.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

3 years

Soroh and I were delighted to see the story of her adoption become the NUMBER ONE stand-up show on BBC Sounds!! If you’ve not heard them, episodes one and two are both available online and the next is coming to @BBCRadio4 and @BBCSounds on Friday.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

5 years

When I get emails like this from Muslims, it makes me think this tour with @imranyusuf has definitely been worthwhile.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

4 years

Everyone thinks their adherence to the covid guidelines is the gold standard. Anyone who does more than you is a germaphobe lunatic; anyone who does slightly less than you basically has blood on their hands and any future deaths with be their personal fault.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

7 years

Thanks to @RSPCA_official and @RSPCA_Enfield for our new adopted 12 week old kitten. Welcome to the house Nikki.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

4 years

Updated prayers for this year’s unique Rosh Hashanah.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

4 years

Toilet paper has sold out everywhere so thank God Pesach is nearly here. A week eating matzah and you definitely won’t need toilet paper for a while.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

4 years

Idea for an episode of Are You Being Served: Young Mr Grace is concerned about falling profits due to coronavirus, so has asked the staff of the men’s and ladies’ department to record a pop song over Zoom from their own homes.

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

3 years

Price for Covid vaccines $40 – Standard vaccine (95% effective) $70 – Kosher version (exactly the same but with a stamp of rabbinic authority) $100 – Kosher for Passover version (exactly the same but comes wrapped in silver foil)

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

8 years

Somewhere Roy Hodgson is sitting in front of his TV saying 'see?! They can score two goals against anyone.' #FRAISL

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Ashley Blaker

@AshleyBlaker

4 years

This week I’ve set up a school in our house for six children without informing our neighbours, seeking any permissions, giving attention to whether our home is safe, and with almost no possibility of covering the national curriculum. This is the most Jewish thing I’ve ever done.

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