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All Sports Scene Profile
All Sports Scene

@AllSportsScene

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#ASScast every Thursday at 7 PM! TOOA every other Tuesday. Our blogs are unfiltered, but edited. “Touch Grass. Toss Salad.” JLPP EST 3/27/2023.

Everywhere
Joined March 2022
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
Breaking: A source tells ASS that the White Sox will hire Adam LaRoche as their next manager. The source states: “Jerry wants to right as many wrongs as he can while he still has the team.” Drake LaRoche will serve as bench coach/clubhouse leader. Adam Eaton new hitting coach.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
Here it is - Your White Sox Mount Rushmore of Facial Hair: Beard - Jose Abreu Unibrow - Fritz Ackley Sideburn - Henry Cruz Mustache - @DylanCease #ManscapeMadness
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
6 months
What White Sox fans don't know about the Campfire Milkshake is that Jerry Reinsdorf bathes in each batch before it's served to the masses.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
A source tells us that the White Sox have called the Phillies, Yankees, Padres, Marlins, and Cubs regarding trades that would benefit only the other team. Rick Hahn is trying to make a player regress by bringing them to the White Sox, and he is working hard at it.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
Dallas Keuchel putting a positive spin on his DFA: “I said I had to do some teaching, and it seems I taught the front office what winning moves look like. If they didn’t DFA me, I would’ve had to teach more.”
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
Everyone wish good luck to our Editor-In-Queef @C_Spaghett1 on her bar exam today and tomorrow! If we get a lawyer, we are going to sue so many people.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
6 months
It's Opening Day! We know it's not looking good. However, we here at ASS want you to “Imagine” if baseball wasn't around. A little throwback to how 2020 was feeling. Well without all the money and cool mansions. For your viewing pleasure, we present Imagine: A Baseball Parody.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
Former White Sox reliever Ryan Burr has signed with the Tampa Bay Rays per his Instagram. We had it first, give us credit.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
BREAKING: The Chicago Bulls and Brooklyn Nets have agreed to a trade for Kevin Durant. The deal involves a sign and trade for Matt Thomas, and Tony Bradley. The Nets will also be sending over 4 future first round picks. Matt Thomas will sign a super max deal with Brooklyn.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
10 months
THIS JUST IN: Shohei Ohtani has agreed to a 14-year/$535M contract with Circuit City. He will be their regional manager in charge of sales for the southwest region of the United States! Congrats Shohei!
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
Jose Abreu and TA on Opening Day
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
1 year
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
1 year
ASS goes to the Chicago Marathon!
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
1 year
ASS in hats
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
White Sox play baseball in 12 hours and 41 minutes
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
1 year
This isn’t your typical ASS blog. This one is from the heart of ⁦ @SamR33v3s ⁩. Apathy is his key to watching sports, but these White Sox are testing that strategy. Hey Jerry, Kenny, and Rick: you’ve overstayed your welcome. Give it a read ⬇️
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
10 months
Who is Taylor Swift? Well, ⁦ @chi_rox_ ⁩ used her investigative skills to figure out who superstar Travis Kelce is dating and how she's benefitted from the new spotlight! So happy an athlete is helping this up and comer finally get some recognition! ⬇️
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
1 year
BREAKING NEWS: Chicago White Sox owner Jerry Reinsdorf has agreed to sell the team to Satan. Quote from Satan’s camp: “Satan has always been a huge fan of Jerry Reinsdorf and won’t make any changes to the team. In return Jerry will still own the Bulls and be given immortality.”
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
The co-founders of ASS taking in a ballgame.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
8 months
ASS n Friends get gay at local sporting event pride night
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
Elvis Andrus in his first stint with the White Sox vs Elvis Andrus in June 2023.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
1 year
ASS on the Jumbotron baybeee
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
When checking in with our source about the White Sox, they reported: “Rick Hahn and Tony La Russa drinka da pee pee and eata da poo poo. Mama Mia the White Sox are in a trouble!” I have no idea who I called.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
Grayson Allen cries when he doesn’t get presents at someone else’s birthday party.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
BREAKING NEWS: Oliver Marmol is stepping down as the St. Louis Cardinals manager after this season. This move is to implement HOF manager Tony La Russa at the helm at the Cardinals. Also reported that Albert Pujols will re-sign with the team at La Russa’s request. #STLCards
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
Today our EIQ @C_Spaghett1 is being sworn in after passing the Maryland Bar exam! From now on, if anyone says anything mean to us, you’ll be hearing from our lawyer. What she will say to you is up to her though. Congrats, Spaghetti Esquire!
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
6 months
ASS has claimed Jose Rodriguez off waivers.
@philaurdelphia
lauren
6 months
white sox designate jose rodriguez for WHAT
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
1 year
O’Neill Cruz probably can’t slide into DMs right either.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
Andrew Wiggins: I regret getting the vaccine because of the potential side effects The side effects: an All-Star appearance and a championship ring
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
1 year
Here to scout locations for ASS Detroit.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
1 year
Get you a front office that doesn’t wear sunglasses, so that they can see what the fuck they’re doing.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
5 months
The Tortured Poets Department
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
Those are called calendars and they track days, so technically yes.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
10 months
White Sox fans if Jerry Reinsdorf tries to move the team to Nashville.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
11 months
ASS + Jacki who won’t let us tag her does Halloween
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
Welcome to the First Annual ASS Potato Party!
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
REPORT: Jerry Reinsdorf thinks Steve Cohen is a “showoff” and is “giving Mets fans an unreal expectation of winning” after signing marquee free agents. Reinsdorf reportedly also stated that Steve Cohen “should think about his fellow billionaires”.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
NBA mock trade szn is here. So here’s ours: Bulls receive: Ja Morant Luka Doncic Nikola Jokic Grizzlies receive: Tony Bradley Mavericks receive: Malcolm Hill Nuggets receive: Coby White
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
ASS goes to #108Day
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
A very reliable source tells ASS that the White Sox biggest addition is the friends we made along the way. Oh and apparently a billboard.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
I hope our new followers understand that this isn’t going to be a boring sports account like all the other ones. We’re here only for the stupid things of sports and basically everything else stupid. Welcome to the cult, my children.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
7 months
Congrats to our EIQ
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@TheBmoreBattery
The Baltimore Battery
7 months
We got her... Ladies and gentlemen, after many interviews and conversations, we are proud to announce @SpaghettiC11 as the newest member/writer of The Baltimore Battery! Please give her a follow and show her some love! 🙏🧡 #Birdland #baltimorebattery #Orioles #LetsGoOs
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
10 months
It’s always been fuck Brooks Boyer. A clip from last week’s #ASScast :
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
1 year
Howdy Assland! @chi_rox_ here. Planning a new segment where we interview Sox fans who don’t live in immediate prox to Sox games. Folks who were born in another state or who haven’t lived in the area in some time. We want their perspective! DM me ( @chi_rox_ ) if interested!
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
9 months
WE’VE DONE IT! Thank you to all of our followers, we are now ASS1K baby!
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
You are celebrating Ash Wednesday, we are celebrating ASS Wednesday. We are not the same, because ASS Wednesday is far better.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
1 year
Happy 30th to King Ass @SamR33v3s
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
So happy our crew did this. Thank you @zombie_jacki for the idea and making the Potato Crown™️. A lovely potato filled evening with friends. Also Jacki and Sam totally planned to stand next to each other.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
1 year
The original Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
7 months
Happy #InternationalWomensDay to our lovely ladies here at ASS.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
ASS at sea. We. Are. Everywhere.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
9 months
BREAKING: After the split with Nike, Tiger Woods has agreed to a new deal with All Sports Scene. From Tiger: “I had a fun time chasing ASS a few years back, and now I get to represent it as a brand.” Welcome aboard, Tiger!
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
Russell Westbrook is a former MVP, all time leader in triple doubles and is in the twilight of his career. Bah gawd that’s Jerry Reinsdorf’s music!
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
1 year
He Chris Getz Us
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@DannyParkins
Danny Parkins
1 year
Sources: White Sox expected to announce Chris Getz as new lead baseball decision maker tomorrow.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
10 months
Your two-time undisputed Potato Party champs: @SamR33v3s and @katelynreeves24 ! #Undefeated
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
We will have a raffle for charity soon. One prize will be a Liam Hendriks bobblehead! Stay tuned 👀
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
If the Bulls are interested in Kyrie, I am interested in not caring about the Bulls.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
The Cubs reportedly have interest in Cristiano Ronaldo.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
7 months
Why are people upset that Jerry Reinsdorf wants the city to pay for a stadium? He obviously wants to save his money to spend on top free agents to win a World Series in the new stadium. It's called the long game.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
ASS Wednesday is now perfect.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
Does he need a ToeFundMe?
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
1 year
Happy birthday to the EIQ and lawyer we keep on retainer for ASS: @SpaghettiC11 ! We wouldn’t be where we are without you because we’d be hemorrhaging money from all the civil suits. Here’s a picture of you not looking at the camera, hope you like it!
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
1 year
Well now that there is some time between the White Sox game two, ⁦ @SamR33v3s ⁩ has a new blog for you. He faced some hard times in early June 2016. He decided to reflect on that, and what he could’ve missed if things were different. Enjoy ⬇️
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
Oh we put out a blog yesterday? SO WHAT! We have the ASS debut of ⁦ @zombie_jacki ⁩! The 10th inning rule is annoying, but what if the runner was an ACTUAL GHOST?! Jacki explores what ghosts there could be on the diamond. Give it a read! ⬇️
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
1 year
Happy Tuesday! We have a new blog out from ⁦ @chi_rox_ ⁩! She details the 8 professional Chicago sports teams and where they rank on the DEFCON scale. Give it a read to find out who ended up where in the rankings! ⬇️
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
1 year
Next year’s annual ASS Mario Kart tournament will be wild.
@EverythingOOC
Everything Out Of Context
1 year
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
1 year
This isn’t a political account in any way, but if Brandon Johnson doesn’t lower the price of concessions and make a more efficient entry into Guaranteed Rate Field starting today, he should be impeached.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
1 year
It’s MLB Opening Day, which can only mean things are about to get ridiculously more horny. Strap it on, folks.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
Justin Fields coming out for the second half like
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
8 months
“They're booing Jerry Krause due to the complex nuance the Last Dance used to paint him as a villain. When the real villain of that Bulls run was actually Jerry Reinsdorf who needed a fall guy and let Michael Jordan bury him for views. They weren't booing his widow so it's cool.”
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
Happy National Girls and Women in Sports Day to the women on our amazing team: @C_Spaghett1 @chi_rox_ @baseballgalal @zombie_jacki @liddle_ktina @flannelGoddess @ColMarie21 Thank you all for being a part of this!
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
We aren’t just nonsense and stupidity, I mean we are, but we promise we know stuff. Don’t take my word for it, read ⁦ @chi_rox_ ⁩’s coverage of the Bulls first preseason game. She covers the good, the bad, and the ugly. Enjoy!
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
5 months
Nick Nastrini is a big fan of our work. Hopefully we can say the same after tonight.
@NickNastrini
Nick Nastrini
10 years
ass
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
I’m not surprised by Brooks Koepka leaving the PGA for LIV. He had Ludacris play his wedding so he needed that guaranteed money to pay it off since he can’t win on the PGA Tour anymore.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
We are all with you, Liam. Kick cancer’s ass.
@whitesox
Chicago White Sox
2 years
Earlier Sunday evening, Liam Hendriks announced he is beginning treatment tomorrow for Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. We’re all with you, Liam! 💚
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
10 months
Look, all we want for ChristmASS is 1k followers. We’re coming along well (also making progress) on this but could use some help so we’re gonna do a little contest. Pls RT/QT/share our page with your friends. If we get to 1k followers by 2024 we’ll giveaway a nice gift bASSket
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
We have a Luis/Eloy bobblehead, Paul Konerko Captain America bobblehead, and Luis Robert chain to giveaway. Details soon! 👀
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
A hearty Mazel Tov to @SamR33v3s who was crowned Potato Princess for the best potato dish!
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
1 year
Your Thursday WST podcast lineup in meme format
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
Willy Garcia, Leury Garcia, Avisail Garcia
@MLBNetwork
MLB Network
2 years
If you could build a dream outfield trio of any 3 players in MLB history, who are you picking? ⬇️
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
Leury Garcia’s wife signed him to a lifelong deal due to all the positions he can do.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
We do not claim Jerry Reinsdorf as our face. This is offensive and disrespectful. We are much prettier.
@SoxMach_pnoles
Patrick Nolan
2 years
Meanwhile, on our leader's Wikipedia page.... (h/t @Mr_Jay369 for getting me to check the page)
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
The existence of Oral Roberts implies the existence of Anal Roberts
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
Justin Fields has the Goose and said he won’t give it back until Tony La Russa is reinstated as the manager.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
1 year
BREAKING: List of Items Recovered from Halas Hall Raid as reported by ⁦ @SpaghettiC11
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
Since @fromthe108 got @JeffPassan we’re gonna have to go bigger and get Bob Nightengale on our pod.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
1 year
It’s here folks: the first edition of Sunday Lowlights brought to you by ⁦ @SpaghettiC11 ⁩! She takes a look around this week’s MLB shenanigans and brings them to the light. It’s just not the light you’d expect. Enjoy ⬇️
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
Ryan Poles just stealing the thunder from the White Sox crosstown victory today. SMH.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
11 months
Our Bulls correspondent will be there live and in person to kiss Vooch.
@chi_rox_
That Roxy Dude
11 months
UC ready
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
1 year
The White Sox are bad, that’s no secret. They need to turn it around in just the simplest of ways. Our ⁦ @SamR33v3s ⁩ breaks down what this team needs to do for a full 180° turnaround. Hint: everyone needs to stop sucking like pornstars. Enjoy ⬇️
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
Scottie Scheffler won the People’s Open, the Arnold Palmer, Dell Match Play, and The Masters in a span of 3 months. World number 1 on top of it. He’s 25 years old. Absolutely incredible. #Golf
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
1 year
Unfortunately due to the humidity and heat, todays Sox postgame orgy has been cancelled.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
What if we broke the Kevin Durant to the Bulls trade and Shams and Woj has to say “ASS had it first”? That would be amazing.
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
ASS supports anything to make baseball more sexy
@IndyBallNation
Indy Ball Nation
2 years
From the start of George Michael’s Careless Whisper to the first time he goes “Ohh Ohhhhhh” is 15 seconds. Can we replace the 15 second clock with no runners on base to that, @MLB ? Think about how sexy ballparks would become. I’ll hang up and listen to your thoughts. Thanks!
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@AllSportsScene
All Sports Scene
2 years
Be sure to tune into the @fromthe108 podcast tonight and see our editor-in-queef @C_Spaghett1 crush it!
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