🤍🧸⬦I just want to be the tiniest, prettiest doll on the shelf⬦🧸🤍⬦CW•No♡⬦HW•216lbs⬦❀Food×Fashion Diary❀ ⬦Lover of the color orange, maple syrup,﹠the moon
You're not hungry. You're just bored.
You're not hungry. You're just bored.
You're not hungry. You're just bored.
You're not hungry. You're just bored.
You're not hungry. You're just bored.
You're not hungry. You're just bored.
You're not hungry. You're just bored.
Repeat.
I'm really, really sorry because I know that people tend to get annoyed at these kind of posts, but the longer I look at this, the less difference I see. Please, please tell me if the weight loss is actually visible or if I'm just going insane.
It's a 70lbs / 32kg difference.
Actually fucking fuming right now. My aunts are accusing me of being on Ozempic because they cannot fathom how I lost weight without drugs. I'm this close to outing myself.
I literally told my mom, "Are they being serious?? I have starved for this body." And she said, "I know."
Everyone, please know that this is an INCREDIBLY safe space for anyone who has a high starting weight. I have been over 200lbs, & currently at a weight that is MOST of edtwt starting weight. It is okay to exist at any size. I will never, EVER, bully anyone here for how they look.
STOP ✋️🚫 Put DOWN the chips ‼️ Would Ana SkipDinnerWakeUpThinner Dot Rexia Dot Com eat that 🤨?? That's RIGHT ❌️ I didn't think so 😠 Back AWAY from the bag ⚠️🫷
I've eaten out the trash, lied to family, blamed missing food on others, eaten animals/animal products in blind binges, hidden and hoarded food, and snuck into the kitchen at 3am to inhale thousands & thousands of calories. Binge eating disorder makes a monster out of you.
Do NOT lose focus. Do it for the outfits. Do it for the new and improved you. Do it for love, envy, concern. Ignore the tears. Ignore the hunger. If it's all temporary anyway, choose your temporary struggles. You'd rather be hungry in a size 000 than miserable in a size XXL.
ATTENTION!!! TODAY MARKS A FULL MONTH OF ME BEING BINGE-FREE AND EVERY DAY UNDER 600 CALS!!!!!!!! :) 🎉
The urges during nighttime have been HORRENDOUS, but I've been strong. Here's to manifesting another month of successful restriction and weight loss! Love you all ♡♡♡♡♡.
You do not have to be underweight to earn the right to recover. It is beyond ridiculous that this illness is often only taken seriously when by de4th's door. If you can get out, RUN. Any time is a good time to recover. You are not less deserving for not being "emaciated enough".
I'm not sure exactly what kind of pose I was going for back then, but the facial weight loss difference makes me so happy to see.
Left: June 15th, 2021: BMI 39.9 197.5lbs/89.5kg
Right: Aug 11th, 2023: BMI 24.9 123.2lbs/55.8 (as of last Mon)
A 74.3lbs difference between these.
216lbs Devin literally haunts my dreams.
I say that with zero hate in my heart for her, though. She was so beyond, beyond depressed and miserable. I feel such a deep sadness for her. For us. Things were so bad. Have they gotten worse? No. But they've never truly gotten better.
Some crucial reminders I'd like to stress:
▪︎ Atypical anorexia is still anorexia.
▪︎ Your bmi does not dictate how mentally ill you are.
▪︎ You are valid no matter your weight.
▪︎ You deserve recovery at any size.
▪︎ You are safe and seen and loved here.
You know what, if my entire family is talking about me being anorexic anyway, I'm going to be shameless. I've been b0dychecking and making cups of tea all evening because if they're going to speculate, I'll give them something to watch. Now I'm on the treadmill. Go ahead. Talk.
Today marks my 8th month binge free & without exceeding 800cals for even a single day.🎉
Feb 25th: 179.2lbs (Not my hsw. This date was just when I broke out of my binge cycle.)
Oct 25th: 108.2lbs (Currently stuck in a hell arena of a plateau.)
Loss: 71lbs
Total Loss: 107.8lbs
Does anyone else feel really invalid for not doing stereotypical ana things? Like I don't cut my food into tiny pieces or chew super slowly or eat as little as humanly possible or refuse to eat or hold food in that weird, pincer-like grip like the girls in those documentaries do.
Deflect. Change the subject. "ur anorexic" "No, I'm not! 😊" Bam. Case closed. Can't argue with a wall and I am one massive fat brick made of lard and concrete. You ask about my calorie intake, I'll ask how your marriage is going. Didn't like that? Neither did I. Leave me alone.
Just a gentle reminder that you're still valid even if your choosing to "turn off" your ed for the holidays. We all make up our silly little rules anyway. There's no sense in invalidating yourself or others over theirs. I hope that this season finds you all well, safe, and loved.
Now that I set my account to private, I can share my fit today with all of you lovelier people on here! I love what I'm wearing so, so much and it brings me a tremendous amount of joy! Especially since these are the size 6 pants I've been waiting to fit into!🌈🌟 ❤️🧡💚💙💛💜🌟🌈
I want to be small. I want to be perceived as small. I want to be instinctively seen as someone to protect and care for. I want to be beautiful and fragile and sweet and comforting. I want to bring love and I want to be loved. I want to be cared for.
If anyone else was curious:
Yes! My tattoo looks far better now than it did back then. At the time, it looked like a piece ON my arm, but now it looks like an arm PIECE. It wraps around my arm now - which I VASTLY prefer! Much more sleeve-like, much less like an isolated tattoo.
@0rangeh0neys
it's an insane difference!! your thighs now are like what your arms used to be. also, does your tattoo look any different now than it did at your hw?
I went off the treadmill after an hour and forty minutes. I was seen by others and got the stupid validation that I wanted. I lied to my mom about eating extra, I actually ate, and I feel both better about things and also bad for how poorly I've managed today. I'm sorry, loves.♡
Today we dance and sing together in the streets because we don't know if we will survive tomorrow.
Here is what I ate today. You all know that's it's vegan, gluten free, 800 calories. It doesn't matter. I hope to be here tomorrow. If I'm not, know that I've loved everyone here.
TODAY MARKS MY 7TH MONTH BINGE FREE & WITHOUT EXCEEDING 600CALS FOR EVEN A SINGLE DAY!🎉
The weight loss is certainly slowing down, but that means there's less fat to lose! (Me trying not to go insane.) I'm gonna weigh-in tomorrow & let you know how much I've lost in total+pics.
Today marks my 9th month binge free & without exceeding 800cals for even a single day! 🎉
2020, Highest weight: 216lbs
Feb 25th, Binge cycle breakout weight: 179.2lbs
Last week Sunday weight: 101.6lbs
Loss: 77.6lbs
Total Loss: 114.4lbs
Will weigh-in tomorrow for updated loss!
You don't have to lose x amount before the end of the year. There will be more time, even when December passes. It's okay. Losing weight has no expiration date and never goes out of fashion. Smaller clothes and social approval will still be there for when you lose the weight.
I lost exactly half of my hsw today.
There's a deep echo of pure melancholy that fills the hollow of my lungs. The smile that ghosts my lips as I peer at my new low weight on the scale is plastered and practiced. As though I do so because I'm supposed to.
I should be happier.
No one here deserves to suffer. The binging, the restricting, the texture avoidance, the food group aversion, the overexercising, the fatigue, the hunger, the non-food consumption, the purging, the lax, it's all hell. I will NEVER clown someone for choosing recovery. It's brave.
Grit your teeth you baby. It's been an hour and a half. You're fine. You're fine. You're fine. You want pretty? You want skinny? You'll have to work for it then. Push past the fatigue. You're bmi 19. You aren't exactly going to drop. You're fine. Do this for you. No one else.
Alright besties, what are we thinking?
The front hair is mostly mine, and all the rest is a wig. Is it obvious? And how do we feel about the bandana in general, is it cute? Do we like it? The hairline looked obvious to me as inauthentic, so the bandana was my solution. Thoughts?
I won't forget those who have been so kind and humane to me when I eventually reach a low weight. This tweet is intended for those who are seeing it at this time. You are seen. And I appreciate you. Thank you for not treating me as less than for the "crime" of having a high sw.♡
@decomposedmoon
Moon, I would press my palm against a hot iron, cut off all my hair, and dance naked in a construction site while Trump watched to reach my ugw. This is light work.
I had previously said that it was okay to address me by Devin, but going forward, I ask that you please only refer me by my given name, Devorah.
Thank you. ♡
☆ Absolutely ENOURMOUS thread of ED memes and reaction images that I've collected over the years because I need to offload them since my phone storage is full. ☆
If you're ana, can you confirm if you enjoy eating? Because I do. Am I a fraud? I think I've subconsciously absorbed what the media sensationalizes. The idea that anas avoid food and eating at all costs. I get so excited for my omads, so how can I possibly have the same disorder?
Hi, everyone.
Please heed to these gentle reminders:
♡ Drink around 2 glasses of water each hour.
♡ Take breaks from social media.
♡ Moisturize your tattoos.
♡ Moisturize your hands.
♡ Moisturize your lips.
♡ Sanitize your piercing jewelry.
♡ Sit up straight.
Love you.