& also i never missed a game of his i was always there ! but eventually i went over it was a school night too so he told me i could stay a night . i did that & yk one thing led to another & yeah i had to do take a plan b ( i never took one of those ) .
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i’ve finally decided to open up on what ive went through for the last 2 years ( check comments ) .
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so 2 years ago i met a boy through my closest male friend & we connected and got together . i never heard of him nor seen him before but it all started because i asked about a football game & he was like he’ll let me in for free told me his jersey number & etc .
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so i got to the game but by that time he was already on the field but i still got in for free . so then like after that like i said we connected got to know eachother etc etc , started talking everyday etc etc but at the same time i had just stopped talking to someone else so i..
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i honestly wasnt quite ready to talk to someone again but i still talked to him or whatever the case may have been . i wanna say like some weeks later , i was on this girl cfs and she had posted a sex tape but i had no clue it was him so im guessing like who i thought it was but
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but eventually she told me that it was the dude i was talking to so i was shocked because wow ??? so i didnt even give him a reason or nothing i just blocked him on everything but eventually unblocked him & when i did he kept apologizing etc etc..
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i did forgive him because it happened way before i even knew him . so after that i wasnt like feeling it forreal so i was starting arguments & things like that . until one day he put his foot down & i actually listened and decided on what i wanted to do..
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& that was to continue to build our trust & relationship with eachother . so around my birthday is when i finally seen him in person & we were both shy ngl but eventually we came around to eachother & took some boomerangs . we wasnt together yet but we were you know talking ..
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so like after like 2 weeks , i made a decision & that was to be with him . we were doing good ngl , i never heard his name in the mix nunnadat . he gave me his pw & i gave him mine . he would want to see me everyday & stuff but i was still scared & plus i worked alot like alott .
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i was scared because like i never just been in a relationship forreal where i can just go to a dude house or whatever the case may be . he was actually a sweet boy one day i told him i was hungry & he ordered food to my school .
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& like i said it was a school night so when i got to school the next day im like my body feeling weird , i was dizzy , could barely move etc etc so im telling him & he’s being weird about it . but im not paying it no attention . so soon as school let out i went home ..
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i still wasn’t feeling it so i was rushed to the hospital & i was there from 2 something pm to 10 almost 11 at night . basically the plan b ruptured something which cause me not to have the baby . after that i was bleeding so bad like so bad & i was just still hurting so bad .
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he cheated on me but before i knew he cheated i just instantly cried thinking of all the bad things that could have been going on & i really didnt know he cheated until it was brought to my attention so i confronted him about ngl i confronted the girl too ..
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which i shouldnt have cause she didnt know but i definitely checked him too . eventually i took him back but i became depressed . but i still managed to go to his basketball games etc etc still managed to defend him even when i know i shouldn’t have no matter how bad he did me ..
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i still defended him because he was all i knew . he was my heart . my first everything ( except body ) , my first real highschool relationship or atleast i thought . we was beginning to fall off .
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we was off and on , everything just became so toxic . eventually i found out he cheated on me again & this time it was with a friend of mine . i was hurt , im ngl til this day it still hurts me because not only did you cheat BUT…
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you cheated on me with my friend ? i was hurt . atp i was so depressed i lost 10lbs in total , i started giving up on school , i didnt care about my appearance i was just going through it .
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he kept trying to get in contact with me etc etc i really wasnt tryna listen to him but i did . he kept telling me how sorry he was etc etc . i honestly didnt wanna be done so i obviously took him back .
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but so much other shit started happening & yeah we just wasnt on the right path at all . we were just too toxic , we couldnt leave eachother alone but we couldnt get right to be with eachother so .. it was just what it was .
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eventually he got another girlfriend & it was so much drama with that . eventually i spoke up to his mama & my people & yeah everything got out then . him & i were still messing around with eachother even though he was in a relationship which was not okay but at the time i was..
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just too inlove . everytime i thought we were good fucks up started happening etc etc . so i went on a healing journey & i was healing myself like i was posting sad tiktoks , music , quotes etc etc ..
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while i was on my healing journey i took time to find myself again , got my hair done more etc etc . but doing through this time he would still try to find ways to be sneaky & try to contact me . everytime he did , i did everything for him whatever he needed i made it got done .
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even when we were together i made sure he got what he needed or asked for eventually after awhile i just cut him out of my life because it was too much i got tired of arguing with the gf , him & others so i just finally let go it hurt me so much to do that but it had to be done.
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i would start seeing him around & my whole attitude would go from happy to angry its like as if he controlled me basically . eventually one thing led to another again & this time im having pregnancy symptoms ..
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& we got to arguing so bad he told me how much he hated me how he didnt want a baby with me this that & the third so atp im just stressed . nobody ever knew about me being pregnant because i was scared .
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but i eventually i miscarried because i was so stressed . he was just so disrespectful to me but i never really left because i was too inlove with him . it was times when everyone was calling me a duck telling me i needed to leave him alone for good etc etc ..
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but everytime i would take up for him . fast forward to october of last year yk one thing led to another & yeah & i had i pregnancy scare i was in class feeling dizzy throwing up crying etc etc i told him & he started dtm cussing me out , being disrespectful etc etc ..
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telling me how he dont want a baby with me his life is ruined calling me out my name etc etc i did take a test & it came back negative . but after that day i just slowly started losing feelings didn’t really talk to him nomore fr . until april of 2023 .
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& we only communicated because he came back around because he wasnt in a relationship anymore so we connected again . but honestly i was second guessing . but i started talking to him again we were friend i guess & yeah ..
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im still doing everything for him . and the way we would talk to eachother i thought we were together . so fast forward to may eventually graduation was coming up i got my nails done & had his initial on there nobody noticed fr & also …
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imma gift giver so i was going to do alot for him for graduation but i just decided to cancel like all the gifts i was getting because he said we were going to trade gifts another time so that rubbed me the wrong way & then he graduated 2 days before me a girl ..
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i called my friend posted him and called him her man etc etc i was at my friend graduation dinner when i seen all that so i walked away from the table & cried because i was so sad because bullshit kept happening to me ..
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eventually we were still talking . but not as much .. a situation happened in june & thats when everything went left & every since then i havent talked to him . its more but i just dont wanna tell all that .
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im not getting on here for anyone to feel vulnerable for me or to check on me or whatever because i dont need that im fine i just wanted to get my story out , i finally left him alone & im doing better , my life is getting better , again i just wanted my story to be heard .
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& also im not getting on here to bash him in any kind of way or anything . we both had our wrongs , we both did messed up things to eachother etc etc but like i said i just wanted to be heard because ive been holding it in for so long .
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