Everybody who was fifteen when Taylor Swift wrote "Fifteen" is now 25. They can vote. Thanks for the wild guess about the lives of young women, though.
I appreciate hearing everyone try to express the devastation of Chadwick Boseman's death, because the unbelievable shock of it paired with the new meaning of the defiance in his performances is basically beyond articulation.
Pete Buttigieg seems like the guy who opens a board game, reads the entire instruction booklet from front to back, and then calmly re-explains the rules 30 times to everyone drunkenly playing along.
These gay kids just hitting a few buttons and zapping the Taylor Swift album to their phones. In my day you walked into Best Buy, placed the sensitive lady rock album under two Offspring CDs, and gulped as you approached a cashier named Todd.
Straight men on Elizabeth Warren: “She messed up once and I can’t get over it.”
Straight men on The Joker: “Really excited to hear his side of the story.”
Sorry to straight people who keep finding out their heroes suck but you should've listened to gays and worshiped 52-year-old actresses who specialize in monologues about their crumbling marriage.
Happy 70th birthday to Meryl Streep, who has spent 40 years exceeding the hype and reminding you with polite smiles and subtle glances that she is untouchable.
I don't know why you're all freaking out over miniature yet huge cats with human celebrity faces and sexy breasts performing a demented dream ballet for kids.
I regret that kids today will never know what it's like to own only *one* album. You were ten and you listened to that one album for months until you got a second CD. But for the rest of your life you can quote Natalie Imbruglia's Left of the Middle like it is Richard III.
This generation knows nothing of CD booklets. They're just sitting around listening to music and have no idea there's 1,100 people Janet Jackson would like to thank.
Jessica Walter made her screen debut before most of the other Arrested Development cast members were born, yet here they are talking over her to explain set dynamics.
A picture from one of the best days of my life. You wait your whole life to get on this show and nothing is more satisfying than buzzing in and hearing this legend call your name for a response. An amazing emcee who loved seeing contestants perform at their best. I will miss him.
Saoirse Ronan was put on Earth to make me dab my eyes walking out of a movie theater and say to no one in particular, “She believed in her own strength the whole time.”
You don’t have to be queer to go to Pride. You can hold up a sign that says “Marisa Tomei is a better actor than Leonardo DiCaprio” and we’ll be into it.