Louis Virtel @louisvirtel Twitter profile

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@powers1av3

Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

4 years

I love how Mitt Romney reappears once every three months to outshine the entire Republican Party by doing the absolute least.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

8 months

I cannot believe Bob Barker lived as close to 100 as possible without going over.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

6 years

Everybody who was fifteen when Taylor Swift wrote "Fifteen" is now 25. They can vote. Thanks for the wild guess about the lives of young women, though.

Gov. Mike Huckabee

@GovMikeHuckabee

6 years

So @taylorswift13 has every right to be political but it won’t impact election unless we allow 13 yr old girls to vote. Still with #MarshaBlackburn

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

5 years

The best part of being a flight attendant has to be when you walk the aisle saying “trash” to everyone’s face.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

4 years

I appreciate hearing everyone try to express the devastation of Chadwick Boseman's death, because the unbelievable shock of it paired with the new meaning of the defiance in his performances is basically beyond articulation.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

1 year

Once again Kristen Stewart is the Timothee Chalamet you've been waiting for

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

1 year

Jennifer Coolidge always talks like she’s trying to tell us a secret at a loud club.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

3 years

I have missed Oprah’s seamless transitions between curious observer, fun high school guidance counselor, and world’s greatest detective.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

3 years

I hope we can agree that 1980 is twenty years ago.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

5 years

I am shaken by the news of Malia Obama having opinions and friends. If she enjoys food or listens to music, I will be devastated.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

3 years

Did you know that if someone annoys you on social media you can unfollow them and you will never think of them again

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

2 years

Rami Malek is the guy who gives you a spooky speech before you enter your escape room.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

4 years

I'll remember Mike Bloomberg as a little bank that Elizabeth Warren regulated live on television.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

4 years

I wouldn’t mind if Elizabeth Warren gestured at Pete Buttigieg and called him “my sneaky fucking nephew over here.”

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

4 years

It's almost like Elizabeth Warren's entire career has been dealing with a million Bloombergs and he wasn't prepared for one of her.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

7 years

"Sarah Huckabee Sanders" sounds like something your grandmother yells instead of swear words.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

3 years

If you’re in a 500-person conga line screaming in victory with honking traffic, STAY IN LINE

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

4 years

I love grocery bags with no handles because I hold them on my hip like a tough divorced mom in the ‘70s.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

3 years

I’m looking forward to living a single day we won’t be reading about for years.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

4 years

Well, it's been six months, I'm ready for Saoirse Ronan to play an assertive young woman discovering her own strength again.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

5 years

You sit down on a couch in JK Rowling’s house and she’s like, “Careful, Dumbledore got railed there.”

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

5 years

Pete Buttigieg seems like the guy who opens a board game, reads the entire instruction booklet from front to back, and then calmly re-explains the rules 30 times to everyone drunkenly playing along.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

2 years

Reminder that Brenda Lee recorded “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” when she was 13. Props for achieving tipsy divorcee energy in middle school.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

7 years

"I was slightly inconvenienced!" screamed Ann Coulter, woman who claimed 9/11 widows were sad opportunists.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

4 months

Interrupting a respectful conversation to yell the words “ELIZABETH DEBICKI” is so far the only queer representation I’ve seen at the Globes

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

6 years

It's weird to see someone's spine actually leave their body.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

4 years

These gay kids just hitting a few buttons and zapping the Taylor Swift album to their phones. In my day you walked into Best Buy, placed the sensitive lady rock album under two Offspring CDs, and gulped as you approached a cashier named Todd.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

4 years

How does one even introduce Scott Baio to a millennial audience? "You know him from... nothing, here's Scott Baio."

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

2 years

In my opinion they will switch outfits mid-ceremony

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

5 years

Jane Fonda bringing out a different celebrity to get arrested with every week really puts the 1989 tour to shame.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

5 years

Straight men on Elizabeth Warren: “She messed up once and I can’t get over it.” Straight men on The Joker: “Really excited to hear his side of the story.”

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

6 years

Sorry to straight people who keep finding out their heroes suck but you should've listened to gays and worshiped 52-year-old actresses who specialize in monologues about their crumbling marriage.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

7 years

Sarah Huckabee Sanders always looks like she's trying not to seem drunk while asking a pet store cashier for eight beagles.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

7 years

Don't let the Ted Cruz porn story distract you from the fact that he is somehow younger than Jennifer Lopez.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

5 years

Can’t picture Elizabeth Warren sleeping. I think she sits with arms akimbo for eight hours, says “Welp,” then gets back up.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

6 years

Remember, you can always call your senator and leave a bloodcurdling scream.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

6 years

Facebook is where I go to watch childhood friends misunderstand the news.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

4 years

Someone needs to whisper "Madonna biopic" in Florence Pugh's ear once a day.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

27 days

Jolene apparently knows Dolly Parton *and* Beyonce so I can only assume the “flaming locks of auburn hair” belong to known hussy Willie Nelson.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

5 years

BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY and GREEN BOOK are definitely the best movies of the year unless you ask the communities those movies were supposed to represent.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

4 years

Maybe the worst thing about this presidency is there was never any doubt it would be exactly like this.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

3 years

Man whose every opinion is inescapable worries others will be heard

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

3 years

Everyone 35 and older is confused by Billie Eilish but she’s... very normal? A nice, relatable person who happens to dress like algae.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

4 years

*heart flutters*

Ese Negrito

@iLLmak3Ufamous

4 years

What’s y’all’s funniest celeb Twitter interaction?

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

6 years

Say what you will about Paul Ryan but I think he's proven you can stand for nothing while also ruining everything.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

5 years

I want this picture printed on all money.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

4 years

I can’t explain it but Laura Dern and Toni Collette can never meet.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

3 months

It appears the Tracy Chapman of this generation is Tracy Chapman.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

5 years

I love that Big Little Lies is basically a half dozen of your favorite actresses saying “We’ll see about THAT” to each other a thousand times.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

5 years

Each float in the straight pride parade is 10 guys explaining a different Coen brothers movie to you.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

3 years

Because male gymnasts don’t have to dance during floor routines they should have to yell “Tah-dah” after every move.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

5 years

Instagram is down and now I have no idea how grateful my trainer is for a wife who helps him grow in faith.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

1 year

White Lotus has Mad Men energy: Maybe something horrible will happen or maybe two people will have a weird lunch.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

5 years

Happy 70th birthday to Meryl Streep, who has spent 40 years exceeding the hype and reminding you with polite smiles and subtle glances that she is untouchable.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

4 years

You know how Cher played all the parts in West Side Story that one time? Maya Rudolph should do that with Hamilton.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

6 years

Apple Events are the world's largest meetings that could've been an email.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

2 years

Is it cancel culture or did you do something stupid in front of millions

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

2 years

I'm not over Denzel Washington having his own haunting proverbs to drop at a moment's notice.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

5 years

If you throw a party at 9, Pete Buttigieg is there at 8:30 with ice.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

5 years

You should try this other app that ages you 50 years in a second called Twitter.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

5 years

Review: In her memoir, Marie Curie proves she's more than just a slut with some beakers

The Washington Post

@washingtonpost

5 years

Review: In her memoir, Debbie Harry proves she’s more than just a pretty blonde in tight pants

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

3 years

Hope he signed a prÆn-12p

Page Six

@PageSix

3 years

#BREAKING #EXCLUSIVE : Elon Musk and Grimes break up after three years together

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

4 years

Weird, not seeing any CDC exceptions for "It's nice out and I'm bored."

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

4 years

You're telling me there's a series called Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee but no Beloved Actors Getting Arrested With Jane Fonda.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

3 years

In some ways I still don’t believe Chet Hanks is real. Imagine if Meryl Streep was like “Meet my kids Mamie, Grace, and Bhad Bhabie.”

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

5 years

Here's a portrait of three legends I like to call "But Zero Grammys."

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

5 years

Just watched The Joker trailer. I hate origin stories but "Mediocre man wants to be funny" is the realest villain explanation I've heard yet.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

5 years

How Timothee Chalamet manages to be a quintessential 2019 heartthrob AND a 19th century women's horse racing superstar, I don't know.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

5 years

I don't know why you're all freaking out over miniature yet huge cats with human celebrity faces and sexy breasts performing a demented dream ballet for kids.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

2 years

I regret that kids today will never know what it's like to own only *one* album. You were ten and you listened to that one album for months until you got a second CD. But for the rest of your life you can quote Natalie Imbruglia's Left of the Middle like it is Richard III.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

3 years

If Elizabeth Warren widens her eyes and smiles at you during an interview, you said something stupid and are about to find out why.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

3 years

At least Fiona Apple won Best Alternative Album, which is like album of the year for people with clinical depression.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

6 years

Melania always looks like a visitor from the future who forgot what she was supposed to warn us about.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

5 years

Taylor Swift threw the first bachelorette party at Stonewall.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

4 years

Today I’m thinking about which actress would be best at saying “I’d like to speak to the manager” and I believe the winner is Laura Dern.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

2 years

Lord Licorice in Greta Gerwig's CANDYLAND

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

5 years

“Likable” is code for “She wouldn’t be mad if I talked over her.”

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

4 years

Remember, if you feel tired during quarantine, you might just be devastated.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

4 years

Dolly Parton needs a primetime special called Actually, I Have 5,000 Other Amazing Songs Besides '9 To 5' and 'Jolene'

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

2 years

After two years apart, gay people are reuniting with their aunts who have only one question for them: Have you heard of Schitt’s Creek

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

13 days

This generation knows nothing of CD booklets. They're just sitting around listening to music and have no idea there's 1,100 people Janet Jackson would like to thank.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

5 years

Big Little Lies is mostly about watching Oscar-winning actresses snap “Get in the car” at scared children.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

2 years

Remember when we thought an envelope mix-up was shocking

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

6 years

Judith Light giving you my favorite type of glamour: long lost aunt showing up to your grandfather's funeral to collect her inheritance

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

6 years

Jessica Walter made her screen debut before most of the other Arrested Development cast members were born, yet here they are talking over her to explain set dynamics.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

6 years

Maya Rudolph and Tiffany Haddish appeared and I immediately screamed "Thelma and Louise reboot" at a stranger.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

3 years

Page Six reports that Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen are getting... even closer as the years go by. 🥰

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

3 years

A picture from one of the best days of my life. You wait your whole life to get on this show and nothing is more satisfying than buzzing in and hearing this legend call your name for a response. An amazing emcee who loved seeing contestants perform at their best. I will miss him.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

5 years

I need someone on The Masked Singer to be Shelly Miscavige.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

5 years

The joy of Big Little Lies is that you know something terrible will happen but it’s never two men having a long conversation.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

4 years

Saoirse Ronan was put on Earth to make me dab my eyes walking out of a movie theater and say to no one in particular, “She believed in her own strength the whole time.”

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

4 years

If I’m not mistaken, J Lo and Shakira’s asses passed the Bechdel test all by themselves.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

4 years

Happy 71st birthday to Sigourney Weaver, who has spent a career literally looking down on cocky male characters.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

23 days

Happy 100th to Marlon Brando. He invented the idea that hot people could also be good at their job.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

5 years

I'm sorry but every baseball team should have one bored gay outfielder who sits in the grass and reads Jane Austen.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

4 years

I miss going to movie theaters and hearing the one gay friend in a pack of teens correctly answer preshow trivia about Cameron Diaz.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

6 years

You don’t have to be queer to go to Pride. You can hold up a sign that says “Marisa Tomei is a better actor than Leonardo DiCaprio” and we’ll be into it.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

4 years

Can't wait for this biopic so I can see the words "Jim Parsons is HAUNTING" in the trailer.

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Louis Virtel

@louisvirtel

2 years

I'm happy for Elmo but everyone's sleeping on the lovable and complicated king, Grover. He's a monster and also a superhero and also SO embarrassed.

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