Briefly an editor, still a writer. Bylines at Texas Monthly, New Yorker, Longreads, Rolling Stone, VICE, NY Mag, D Magazine, Slate, Dallas Morning News, etc.
This is relatively high up there in most-personal-things-I've-written, which makes me a bit anxious. So I'm going to leave it here and just step away from the internet for a few days
I took an edible on a plane once and when the passenger next to me quietly said “shoot” to herself I leaned in and asked “what?” Not having invited a conversation, she said “oh, I forgot my charger.” I looked her in the eye and said “holy shit”
still sucks that this person with 1 million subscribers did a two-part youtube doc that is 80% just basically reading aloud a story i spent three years reporting…asked her to link to the story. she did not. linked to her merch page though
a lot of tweets about what tom brady could have been doing in retirement instead of losing 31-6 but the thing you gotta realize about competitors like him and aaron rodgers is their families don’t like them so there are only so many options
@joshgondelman
@BrandyLJensen
i don't like playing video games but watching someone nice who genuinely enjoys the game they're playing for 30 min and occasionally earnestly asking "wait why did you do that?"...that's a pure experience
one time somebody’s aunt at a wedding responded to my joke with “you must be the funny one” and i said “actually i’m the good looking one” and she said “oh you ARE the funny one” and it’s the most fucked up thing anyone’s ever said to me
Tom Brady might not be “done after all" with his playing in the NFL, according to
@RichEisenShow
who talked to people in Indy.
"Folks are saying keep an eye on Miami."
if i were the braves and i blew a 3-1 series lead and two separate leads in game 7 i would simply rebrand my organization in a way that doesn’t appropriate native american culture
if giannis is on a train to the all-star game going 55 mph and he's 300 miles away and luka is on a train going 65 mph and he's 750 miles away who will arrive at the all-star game first?
People, it's not hard.
0-0 to start quarters 1, 2 and 3. $100,000 on the line each quarter.
Take those scores. Add them up to start the fourth.
Take the score that's ahead at that time, add 24 to it.
First to hit that number wins the All-Star Game.
Just watch and enjoy.
she credits the story 10 min into part 2 but huge chunks of part 1 and part 2 is just taking my work and (barely) changes the words. if you read my story then watch you can tell with the transitions she built the entire thing from this piece
As Jason Kidd begins to assemble his coaching staff, with his formal hiring as Mavericks head coach apparently imminent, 2011 title-team teammates JJ Barea and Jason Terry certainly appear to be strong candidates to rejoin the organization.
“I hope,” Barea says.
y'all wanna hear the worst joke i've ever said?
one time i got introduced to someone and asked what his last name was and he said "Harbinger" and i said "i should have seen that coming" and he rolled his eyes so hard i almost fell down
Hello Mavs fans. Last year I walked around North Park mall with Willie Cauley-Stein and talked about art. He’s very cool and you should be excited to have him.
there are quotes of someone in here and it’s left ambiguous where they came from. they are quotes told to me, not her. that person has died since i wrote the story…she even sets up the quotes almost exactly the way i did
@RoycEugene
yeah, it’s pretty jarring hearing her take literal paragraphs i wrote and saying them in a conversational tone like she was just thinking of them
In an interview with
@CNN
this morning,
@DallasMayor
Eric Johnson says he "doesn't know what people mean by 'defund' and [he] doesn't know what they mean by 'dismantle'" when they're chanting about police reform.
@TheWilderThings
when my friend picked me up from the airport and asked how my flight was I was like "terrible, the plane took like 10 minutes to take off.." then I realized it was a totally normal flight, I was just freaking out
when i was a kid i was visiting my grandparents and the tonight show came on and jay leno made a joke about getting a mexican to do some shitty job and my grandpa (the nicest person in the world) just whispered “that’s not funny”
I can’t see how anyone could blame the Warriors for taking advantage of the small window they have before Dennis Smith and Luka Doncic are running the league.
@RaxKingIsDead
a very funny detail of the plane ride is that it was on spirit airlines and when they rolled the cart up and asked if I'd like to purchase anything I said "water" and she said it was $4 so I just closed my eyes until they rolled away.
i don’t know if your night was awkward but i went on a date on valentines with a girl i basically just met and our server was a girl i dated for two months and ended on not great terms with
if he doesn't record another tackle i think aldon smith's comeback should be the biggest story of the nfl season. alcoholics or addicts of anything have to achieve so much humility in their daily fight. and then to return to a game that requires so much confidence.
Texas state lawmakers on Monday approved a bill that will ban plant-based food products and foods that do not contain meat from animals from using the terms "meat" or "beef" to describe the food on labels
pls be like Ted Lasso and don’t reply to this tweet
(i think it’s totally valid to find the show refreshing and a few of the episodes are delightful. pls i have a family)
There are NO online friends. They are just strangers who are on the same social media as you. Do not trust them. Do not share anything personal and stay as detached as you can. Do not try to develop a friendship.
"Without Dunder Mifflin, how would Jim have met Pam? How could the utterly ridiculous Michael Scott have entered your sympathies without seeing him every day, and knowing him?"
Texas - we hear you. You didn’t want to be part of our electrical grid. And now you’ve removed your mask mandate & are allowing large crowds to gather. We hear you! COVID is a hoax! So u don’t need our precious vaccine. We’ll send it to ppl who are saving lives by wearing masks.
espn personality: jayson tatum has never made a shot in his life
jj reddick: jayson tatum scored 22 points just last night
everyone: reddick brought the receipts
@jeremypgordon
i'm more inclined to believe it's just a manipulative framing of something that challenges the very profitable career of catering to bigots they've carved out for themselves
everyone watching the mavs beat the suns: chris paul isn't even good haha
pat bev: he's literally not good
everyone: well no i mean he is good. we were just having fun. you're actually not that good
I just don’t see any path back. At least tonight. I was not looking forward to this speech. And it was bad.
We seem determined to continue to unravel this amazing country.
Gonna go listen to some live blues where no one cares about race.
Thankfully there is a 2 drink minimum..
a year ago i proposed in our backyard and we went to the bar across the street and partied with all our friends and in a couple months we’re gonna do an even bigger party 😎
went from saying he lives rent free in andre drummond’s head to begging for an mvp and blaming his 100th second round playoff loss on de’anthony melton