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LeeAnnWombat Profile
LeeAnnWombat

@JonnyAuping

2,680
Followers
3,197
Following
1,685
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18,974
Statuses

Briefly an editor, still a writer. Bylines at Texas Monthly, New Yorker, Longreads, Rolling Stone, VICE, NY Mag, D Magazine, Slate, Dallas Morning News, etc.

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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
6 years
This is relatively high up there in most-personal-things-I've-written, which makes me a bit anxious. So I'm going to leave it here and just step away from the internet for a few days
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
3 years
wild that Ted Lasso is massively successful bc the premise of “What If A Man Was Nice” is basically like science fiction
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
4 years
[offered a Milano’s cookie] uhh yeah hold on let me put on a nicer shirt
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
4 years
Dr. Tomorrow will know what to do
@townbrad
Brad Townsend
4 years
Porzingis says nose is broken. Will have to see Dr. tomorrow.
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
5 years
I took an edible on a plane once and when the passenger next to me quietly said “shoot” to herself I leaned in and asked “what?” Not having invited a conversation, she said “oh, I forgot my charger.” I looked her in the eye and said “holy shit”
@WindhorstESPN
Brian Windhorst
5 years
Dion Waiters had a panic attack on Heat team flight after taking an edible sources tell @wojespn and me:
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
5 years
Knicks fans gave Dirk a standing ovation and he took their franchise player with him on his way out...
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
4 years
daryl dawkins describing don nelson. inspiring stuff.
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
1 year
still sucks that this person with 1 million subscribers did a two-part youtube doc that is 80% just basically reading aloud a story i spent three years reporting…asked her to link to the story. she did not. linked to her merch page though
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
1 year
a lot of tweets about what tom brady could have been doing in retirement instead of losing 31-6 but the thing you gotta realize about competitors like him and aaron rodgers is their families don’t like them so there are only so many options
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
2 years
@joshgondelman @BrandyLJensen i don't like playing video games but watching someone nice who genuinely enjoys the game they're playing for 30 min and occasionally earnestly asking "wait why did you do that?"...that's a pure experience
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
8 years
Huge blow for feminism.
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
5 years
Can’t blame the Lakers for going all in during the small window before Luka and Kristaps are running the league
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
4 years
one time somebody’s aunt at a wedding responded to my joke with “you must be the funny one” and i said “actually i’m the good looking one” and she said “oh you ARE the funny one” and it’s the most fucked up thing anyone’s ever said to me
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
3 years
i’ve been through the desert on a
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
5 years
Jason Witten touchdown. Sean Lee interception. Big Marion Barber run gotta be coming up
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
3 years
try watching this without crying
@RapAllStars
Rap All-Stars 🏆
3 years
Michael Rubin, Meek Mill, & Jay-Z sent Robert Kraft his dream Bentley for his 80th birthday 🙌🏾
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
2 years
but i was told porzingis couldn’t become the 11th quickest seven-footer to reach 7000 points
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
2 years
luka and KP never quite worked out but there’s something poetic about them combining for 50 tonight
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
1 year
i think he should cone back, it’d be funny. the whole thing would be funny; him coming back, him playing like shit, all of it
@NFL_DovKleiman
Dov Kleiman
1 year
Tom Brady might not be “done after all" with his playing in the NFL, according to @RichEisenShow who talked to people in Indy. "Folks are saying keep an eye on Miami."
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
2 years
loser of smu/tcu has to do an internship at their dad’s company. winner gets a job right out of graduation
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
5 years
“Once” = 9 days ago
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
1 year
brushing off a tear as i walk by the statue of jerik mckinnon not scoring a touchdown
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
4 years
if i were the braves and i blew a 3-1 series lead and two separate leads in game 7 i would simply rebrand my organization in a way that doesn’t appropriate native american culture
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
4 years
if giannis is on a train to the all-star game going 55 mph and he's 300 miles away and luka is on a train going 65 mph and he's 750 miles away who will arrive at the all-star game first?
@ByTimReynolds
Tim Reynolds
4 years
People, it's not hard. 0-0 to start quarters 1, 2 and 3. $100,000 on the line each quarter. Take those scores. Add them up to start the fourth. Take the score that's ahead at that time, add 24 to it. First to hit that number wins the All-Star Game. Just watch and enjoy.
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
1 year
v cool that vox keeps acquiring things they can't afford and adjusting after the fact by eliminating people's livelihoods
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
1 year
she credits the story 10 min into part 2 but huge chunks of part 1 and part 2 is just taking my work and (barely) changes the words. if you read my story then watch you can tell with the transitions she built the entire thing from this piece
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
3 years
“the john stockton quality of her passing is remarkable”… uhh yeah sue bird is definitely better than john stockton
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
3 years
cuban more interested in keeping the 2011 team together than he was when they won the title
@townbrad
Brad Townsend
3 years
As Jason Kidd begins to assemble his coaching staff, with his formal hiring as Mavericks head coach apparently imminent, 2011 title-team teammates JJ Barea and Jason Terry certainly appear to be strong candidates to rejoin the organization. “I hope,” Barea says.
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
4 years
y'all wanna hear the worst joke i've ever said? one time i got introduced to someone and asked what his last name was and he said "Harbinger" and i said "i should have seen that coming" and he rolled his eyes so hard i almost fell down
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
3 years
parking at hospitals should be free what the fuck are we doing
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
4 years
Hello Mavs fans. Last year I walked around North Park mall with Willie Cauley-Stein and talked about art. He’s very cool and you should be excited to have him.
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
1 year
there are quotes of someone in here and it’s left ambiguous where they came from. they are quotes told to me, not her. that person has died since i wrote the story…she even sets up the quotes almost exactly the way i did
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
4 years
[trying to figure out what you attach the other end of a monocle to] what? chessmen? yeah i eat these all the time
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
3 years
this joke was not worth the replies
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
3 years
you know who was great zach randolph
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
5 years
mavs almost traded Dennis for Evan Fournier and the Knicks were like 'before you do that, would you be interested in this guy we have?'
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
3 months
it’s come to my attention that bill simmons said sydney sweeney is his “favorite actress” and i truly cannot stop laughing
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
1 year
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
3 years
this piece by @ReggieBullock35 is absolutely tragic and dallas is lucky to get a player like him on the mavs catching luka assists
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
1 year
@RoycEugene yeah, it’s pretty jarring hearing her take literal paragraphs i wrote and saying them in a conversational tone like she was just thinking of them
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
3 years
@PoundTrue thank you for explaining the joke
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
4 years
i accidentally domesticated this armadillo and am now forced to coexist with it
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
2 years
@minakimes i want you to do an interview where you say “in the offseason i hang my hat at…”
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
7 years
Wanna feel old? This is what the Pizza Rat looks like now:
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
2 years
she did in fact text me
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
4 years
true local leadership is using a national platform to say you don't understand what your constituents are passionately asking for
@Central_Track
Central Track
4 years
In an interview with @CNN this morning, @DallasMayor Eric Johnson says he "doesn't know what people mean by 'defund' and [he] doesn't know what they mean by 'dismantle'" when they're chanting about police reform.
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
5 years
@TheWilderThings when my friend picked me up from the airport and asked how my flight was I was like "terrible, the plane took like 10 minutes to take off.." then I realized it was a totally normal flight, I was just freaking out
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
3 years
when i was a kid i was visiting my grandparents and the tonight show came on and jay leno made a joke about getting a mexican to do some shitty job and my grandpa (the nicest person in the world) just whispered “that’s not funny”
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
5 years
huge correlation between people who don't tip when their waiter makes one small mistake and people who think cancel culture has gone too far
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
2 years
softball player: *exists* holly rowe: has anything terrible ever happened to you?
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
2 years
this is a country where you have to figure out how to keep being mad and how to keep being happy to be able to live with yourself
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
6 years
I can’t see how anyone could blame the Warriors for taking advantage of the small window they have before Dennis Smith and Luka Doncic are running the league.
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
3 years
it’s a perfectly fine show and there’s nothing wrong with enjoy it but also wtf was the point of this reference
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
5 years
@RaxKingIsDead a very funny detail of the plane ride is that it was on spirit airlines and when they rolled the cart up and asked if I'd like to purchase anything I said "water" and she said it was $4 so I just closed my eyes until they rolled away.
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
6 years
Jayson Tatum is only 20. Give him another 8 years and he might be as good as a current superstar like Luka Doncic.
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
8 years
You think this is bad, wait till you see what Harrison Barnes does to Golden State
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
1 year
sharing this piece i wrote about jon and grief and basketball
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
5 years
These lists that rank KG ahead of Dirk need to watch the games when KG played against Dirk.
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
4 years
who would have thought 30 years later that guy would move to hawaii and look like this
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
1 year
let’s not pretend like there were any villains in this game that were not kim mulkey
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
4 years
i don’t know if your night was awkward but i went on a date on valentines with a girl i basically just met and our server was a girl i dated for two months and ended on not great terms with
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
11 months
america would finally stop investing in defense
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
2 years
stafford’s social studies teacher was a range rover
@JeromeSolomon
Jerome Solomon
2 years
ESPN just called Highland Park in Dallas a “small town,” as if Stafford comes from humble beginnings.🤦🏿‍♂️
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LeeAnnWombat
1 year
reggie bullock was one of the coolest dudes the mavs have had on their roster in the past few years
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
3 years
i profiled Satou Sabally, the real unicorn of dallas basketball and one of the more interesting people i've spoken to
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
5 years
@dkdebur11 that's a reasonable length for that story.
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
1 year
@minakimes me prepping my dad on how to turn on disney+ before he babysits my nephews like i’m sending a bomb diffuser out on their first real mission
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
1 year
if he hadn’t retired dude would be trying to explain crypto to a starbucks barista for the 100th time today
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
3 years
the most successful franchise in the nba is in los angeles and named after lakes
@RichLowry
Rich Lowry
3 years
And just like that, the Indians adopt the dumbest, most pointless name in major professional sports
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
4 years
if he doesn't record another tackle i think aldon smith's comeback should be the biggest story of the nfl season. alcoholics or addicts of anything have to achieve so much humility in their daily fight. and then to return to a game that requires so much confidence.
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
2 years
@DelanoSquires i feel ya, prior to meeting my fiance i didn't know what you put in the toaster to make it make toast
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
3 years
this was the biggest problem texas was facing thank you
@thehill
The Hill
3 years
Texas state lawmakers on Monday approved a bill that will ban plant-based food products and foods that do not contain meat from animals from using the terms "meat" or "beef" to describe the food on labels
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
5 years
The New Yorker gave me this opportunity to come clean about my general incompetence. I hope you all will still be able to look at me the same
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
3 years
pls be like Ted Lasso and don’t reply to this tweet (i think it’s totally valid to find the show refreshing and a few of the episodes are delightful. pls i have a family)
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
2 years
not to be a happy christmas boy or anything but look at the picture of this happy couple under my tree
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
4 years
let's all just read one informative covid-19 article a day and then start settling into reading longform stories about literally anything else
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
8 months
me trusting one of my online friends
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@Paprikaashh
The Curry Muncher
8 months
There are NO online friends. They are just strangers who are on the same social media as you. Do not trust them. Do not share anything personal and stay as detached as you can. Do not try to develop a friendship.
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
5 years
@DragonflyJonez the real tragedy is how much Kyrie and Boston fans deserved each other
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
5 years
Patriots rattled by the Trump impeachment
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
1 year
all freelance writers should get subscriptions to the publications - editors hook it up, it’s not hard
@MikeVorkunov
Mike Vorkunov
1 year
Fun fact written into the CBA: All NBA players — except players on 10-day contracts and 2-ways — get NBA League Pass for free.
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
1 year
everyone talking about caitlin and overlooking that kim mulkey shook off the trump indictment and took a team to the title game
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
3 years
KP is luka’s co-star the way i am the co-pilot of the southwest flight i just booked
@theScore
theScore
3 years
Kristaps Porzingis is reportedly unhappy with his role on the Dallas Mavericks. 👀
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
1 year
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@Zazamyodor
Zaza Man
1 year
What’s an insult you’ll never forget?
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
2 years
[keeps a little photo of jim and pam at my desk to make up for having less time with my family]
@brianstelter
Brian Stelter
2 years
"Without Dunder Mifflin, how would Jim have met Pam? How could the utterly ridiculous Michael Scott have entered your sympathies without seeing him every day, and knowing him?"
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
4 years
y'all already been describing things in the most boring way possible
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
2 years
eric alper writing "what's a song with a dog in it?" in wet cement with his finger
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
3 years
i spent all day volunteering at a vaccination site full of ppl trying to, you know, not die. but thanks for the tweet
@MMFlint
Michael Moore
3 years
Texas - we hear you. You didn’t want to be part of our electrical grid. And now you’ve removed your mask mandate & are allowing large crowds to gather. We hear you! COVID is a hoax! So u don’t need our precious vaccine. We’ll send it to ppl who are saving lives by wearing masks.
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
3 years
tfw your best friend is reading about jazz outside
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
1 year
lol garth could do three straight nights at cowboys stadium
@cd_hooks
Christopher Hooks
1 year
Greg Abbott posts a fake item from the “Dunning Kruger Times” written by “Flagg Eagleton - Patriot”
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
8 years
Kerry Kittles is starting game 3 for the Cavaliers
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
2 years
espn personality: jayson tatum has never made a shot in his life jj reddick: jayson tatum scored 22 points just last night everyone: reddick brought the receipts
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
3 years
i don’t usually do *personal news* on here but just a little something i’ve been working on. hope y’all like it and excited about the next steps
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
3 years
just canceled our xmas party bc of omicron and i’ll probably still make the punch and just drink it all 😞
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
3 years
arkansas wbb is extremely my jam. three shit talking senior gunners. no traditional big, no pure point guard. just shooters and vibes
@RazorbackWBB
Razorback WBB
3 years
Five Straight To End The Regular Season 🔥 Run It Back ⏪ #SideBySide 🐗🏀
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LeeAnnWombat
1 year
@jeremypgordon i'm more inclined to believe it's just a manipulative framing of something that challenges the very profitable career of catering to bigots they've carved out for themselves
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
2 years
everyone watching the mavs beat the suns: chris paul isn't even good haha pat bev: he's literally not good everyone: well no i mean he is good. we were just having fun. you're actually not that good
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
2 years
typing "gonna go listen to some live blues where no one cares about race" and reading it back and still pressing tweet
@EricRWeinstein
Eric Weinstein
2 years
I just don’t see any path back. At least tonight. I was not looking forward to this speech. And it was bad. We seem determined to continue to unravel this amazing country. Gonna go listen to some live blues where no one cares about race. Thankfully there is a 2 drink minimum..
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@JonnyAuping
LeeAnnWombat
1 year
a year ago i proposed in our backyard and we went to the bar across the street and partied with all our friends and in a couple months we’re gonna do an even bigger party 😎
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LeeAnnWombat
1 year
went from saying he lives rent free in andre drummond’s head to begging for an mvp and blaming his 100th second round playoff loss on de’anthony melton
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