Professor C @ProfessorCring Twitter profile

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

5 months

@FAFO_TV Bro said, "grah-EEH!"

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

10 months

@ask_aubry @GorillaMurphy The clitoris is made for creating a child?! Good grief, that means my tongue might be on the hook for a LOT of child support.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

7 months

@GinaShirah81815

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

9 months

@ask_aubry I don't think a "hip-to-waist ratio of 0.7" means what LoverBoi thinks it means. Also, no "stretch marks"?! Someone needs to stuff his abdomen with a self-expanding beef brisket for nine months and see what happens to his man-belly. Also, the whole "low iron" thing is…

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

11 months

@LindseyGrahamSC Mr. Graham, if you have exculpatory evidence, then you must provide it to the defense during the discovery phase for submission to the trial court (see, for background, amended Rule 26(b)(1)). If you have none, then you know what to do with your evidence-free speculation.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

1 month

@cctvidiots Assault (the approach), battery (the strikes), child endangerment, challenge to fight, and a few more. The video showed no one in imminent danger by the kid, so the actions by the "adult" had no justification by reason of imminent danger to others. While disrespect and unruly…

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

7 months

@rvalen81 @EdKrassen He is not an enforcement officer. That means he has no authority to take action in what he considered a civil code violation. He is just a self-appointed, violent thug. He committed assault by placing his victims at concern for their safety; then he committed vandalism by…

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

5 months

@nftbadger Maybe it's just me, but I believe this is the worthiest video I've seen today.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

5 months

@FAFO_TV "Okay, dude, what's wrong?"

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

1 month

@FAFO_TV That moment when the front of your nose is moving on its own.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

1 year

@thetrueshelby @TomCottonAR Clarence Thomas's huge financial benefactor is a major donor to Cotton and other influential Republicans. Rumor has it that Thomas wasn't the only recipient of unusual and valuable "gifts."

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

6 months

@1000waystod1e This is where he sees Jesus (and Jesus says, "Bye, bitch").

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

4 months

@soulboy731 Hat's off to the sniper.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

11 months

@GovGianforte Oh, yes, your ban will work... the same way Internet censorship works in China, Russia, Iran, Belarus, Myanmar, and all the other repressive sovereignties of the world. Just like in those other authoritarian regimes, you've made the target of your censorship even more desirable.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

8 months

@wiseconnector One thing? Here goes. I'm sitting on the porch of a rustic cabin far away from the unquiet cities. I have a cup of coffee beside me, and my cats are sleeping on a blanket I put on the ground for them. It's a chilly October evening, and the stillness is all around me. I am alone,…

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

7 months

@Tendar It's just a flesh wound!

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

3 months

@teeniemartini @nanavand Tell me you'll never breed without telling me you'll never breed.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

8 months

@redditSpaceView I was born before we went to space. I have lived long enough to see the landscape of Pluto. It has been a good time to be alive.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

2 months

@SeanOhhhh Fetch me another dart for the tranquilizer gun. This one's still a-squealin'.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

4 years

@leahedwards2835 @mmpadellan My thing is what kind of person isn't horrified by this violent attack by 3 grown men on a child? What kind of person mocks about vicious brutality with "AWWW"? What kind of person hides in anonymity as he posts his psychotic glee at a child being beaten?

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

11 months

@RepBenCline Your hero former President increased the deficit massively, and you didn't even whimper. Now, you're trotting out your Captain Fiscal Righteousness avatar to condemn deficit spending. Hypocrisy much? Then again, you didn't question your own election victory, but you were right…

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

4 years

If you're one of my students, ZOOM is having problems, so if you can't get into the lecture the usual way, try going through the ZOOM app and use the Meeting ID. If you still can't get in, don't sweat: the lectures will be on YouTube like always anyway. Grr.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

12 days

@datsjackedup

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

6 months

@artinsociety She is house-bound in her old age looking out the window at the child outdoors where she was, long ago. As she cannot reach the child from her lighted room (of enlightenment), the child cannot reach her, either (from the darkness of unknowing childhood). Soon enough, the old…

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

9 months

@thetrueshelby As my folks used to say, "Behind every self-made man is a self-made story."

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

2 months

@kirawontmiss Good grief, every time that guy shows up on my feed, my stash of holy water starts simmering.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

8 months

@il0venostalgia People.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

5 months

@1000waystod1e Teleporter to Hell activated.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

3 years

Winter panorama of the Quad @IllinoisStateU

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

13 days

@crazyclipsonly Ever'body was kung-fu fighting!

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

8 months

@DougJBalloon During the firebombing of Dresden, I'm pretty sure none of the Allied bombardiers asked, "Is that one bomb too many?"

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

3 months

@coloradolifer1 That's nothing. You should have seen the improv I did on my icy driveway last week. According to my neighbor, it was epic.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

11 months

@PatMaguire10 He's setting up a scenario to shift the blame to his lackey. Donald Trump: "The buck stops over there!"

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

2 months

@DonaldTNews I notice a famous entertainer performing with men and women of different colors and body types, giving voice and presence to a real cross section of America. They are as happy as they are talented. They are as joyful as they are fearless. They are so different from the myth of…

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

5 years

@BarstoolILLSt Seriously, bruh? Not even one hard-core, cook-yer-nose-hairs, make-the-stray-dog-hate-yer-breath, put-the-smell-'o-death-in-them-farts Kentucky burly blunt? We need to talk.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

2 months

@Adhi_Sekar Ivan: What is the KGB doing? Igor: Gathering intelligence. Ivan: Why? Igor: Because our leaders have none of their own.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

7 months

@NOELreports Coca-Cola?! I knew it! That stuff was just too good to be healthy.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

6 months

@HumansNoContext My laptop is at 88%, and my phone is at 92%, so I'll be dead before I get married. Life is good.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

6 years

@IllinoisStateU @ISUResearch "State Farm Hall of Business in February" from my art portfolio

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

1 year

@Scramblin4M Those motorized gifts are "technology," too. The idea that only the electronics of this modern era are technology is a myth. So is thinking that tearing around nature on a loud internal combustion engine is getting back to nature. Try walking. Now THERE's an old technology.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

6 months

@PicturesFoIder Me (professor): You calculated the monthly payment on a $25,000 car loan as over ten thousand dollars. Does that seem right? Student: I don't know. My dad pays for my car.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

6 months

@FightMate Big boi needs some training. Mostly to his face from a bigger guy.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

7 months

@Gerashchenko_en Ivan: Did you hear that the Ukrainians sell their orphans to Coca-Cola to make soft drinks? Igor: That would require a lot of orphans to make billions of cans of Coke. Where do they get that many orphans? Ivan: We kill their parents in missile attacks.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

8 months

@visegrad24 The winged horsemen are legend. They used special spears and melee weapons even after opponents started using firearms in combat, and they just plowed into the enemy lines at full break, butchering anything and everything in their path. Even well-disciplined opponents would break…

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

4 months

@paulsla1539372 I won't stop smiling for the rest of the day.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

5 months

@FAFO_TV To quote my Kentucky ancestors, "That just ain't natural."

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

14 days

@WeaponsVault That's the drill to prove you're a hot shot using a red dot to blast away at a target five feet in front of you. Next drill is proving that you can land your turd in the center of the toilet bowl you're sitting on.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

1 month

@gggirl924 For what he never knew, Now man's reign is through.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

7 months

@highbrow_nobrow @RonFilipkowski "The Bible says that government rests on God’s shoulders." ...and a skin-flute solo out of wedlock rests between Lauren's chops.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

4 years

@Jamie_Woodward_ I was so affected by these wonderful works of art. It was like I was seeing the humanity of these people for the first time: love, family, suffering, endurance, and all the other things that mark the way from them and their time to us and ours.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

1 month

@MLovetube2 That guy is gonna have a LOT of explaining to do at the Pearly Gates.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

2 years

@DemocraticDaisy @RpsAgainstTrump I used to be dumber than the rocks, but now I'm older than most of them, so that means I'm probably wiser.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

8 months

@JakeSherman The physician recited only what Sen. McConnell does not have. Moreover, the doctor wrote, "There are no changes [emphasis added] recommended in treatment protocols..."; this does not rule out that he is already undergoing treatment for something he does have. The Attending…

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

6 months

@SeanOhhhh If he were my opponent in close-quarters combat, I'd feel terrible about ending him. I'd do it, of course, but only because it would be an act of mercy.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

2 months

@eatinerni What's this pizza missing? A proper burial.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

2 months

@crazyclips_ Dammit, woman, I already HAD lunch.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

3 months

@jfpbear Adding salt increased the risk of high blood pressure. It's better to allow the driveway to reveal its natural flavors without the salt. As a substitute, I generally recommend a combination of black and cayenne pepper, with a touch of oregano. Your driveway will thank you.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

10 months

@jimrosecircus1 Snøp Djågh

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

1 month

@il0venostalgia Yes, I wash my dishes by hand before putting the dishes in the dishwasher. Also, I have trust issues.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

1 year

@Acyn Let's see... regulate corporations unless they're firearms manufacturers. Got it.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

6 months

@weirdlilguys Did that cat go into character in the second panel?

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

4 months

@eatinerni Why in God's name would anyone put catsup (or "ketchup," in the modern, up-to-date spelling and pronunciation) on rice? Butter on it is fine and maybe a touch of low-salt soy sauce

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

4 years

@digiphile @RudyGiuliani @SDNYnews 18 U.S. Code § 912 Whoever falsely assumes or pretends to be an officer or employee acting under the authority of the United States or any department, agency or officer thereof... shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than three years, or both.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

4 years

@Com_Truz @robertjdenault I don't know about here on Twitter, but over on , the actual pdf manipulations are being posted, including both the metadata and the document alteration evidence. It's surprisingly amateurish, considering that this is the work of Fancy Bear (APT 29).

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

9 months

@sirDukeDevin Tate is in the Burn Unit at the MAGA Medical Center. His condition is listed as "Medium Rare," and the doctors are about to apply A1 Steak Sauce as a last resort.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

7 months

@crazyclipsonly Exactly when else in a typical person's life is he or she going to be able to go through a basketball net? This could very well have been a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. As the late, great Yogi Berra put it so eloquently, "If you see a fork in the road, take it!"

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

4 years

@IsaacDovere @DebJHolley You forgot about him pardoning a war criminal who posed with the body of the innocent girl he had just slain in cold blood.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

11 months

@Maks_NAFO_FELLA The shark then went to a local hospital to have its stomach pumped.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

1 year

@LiftForever67 Dear God, what is the woman's fashion genre? Business Casual Trailer Park?

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

5 months

@FAFO_TV The girl is being slurped with the surf while phone cam boi is waving his camera around while the other guy is just dancing.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

4 months

@TheRealDudja So it isn't my fading memory: we really didn't have "snow days" back then.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

1 month

@guelphgirlchris When the rifle says "JUMP," you jump!

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

3 months

@FAFO_TV Wedding night change of plan.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

6 months

@Gerashchenko_en From what I can tell right now, Musaev might be lying. The complicated part is that his young buddy, Austin Russell, is swaggering his way into deals with the help of Musaev and other shady people. Russell claims he's the one who made the Forbes global deal, while Musaev is…

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

7 months

@Gerashchenko_en It goes to the old saying, "When the angry mob is chasing you, get in front and act like you're leading a parade."

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

3 months

@bestwildclips Nice grouping... if an uncontrolled 90° pattern can be called a group.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

1 year

@sentdefender "Concerning Direction," you say? Taking a full-scale attack on a nation and turning it around to create a buffer in the aggressor's borderlands is "Concerning" to you. Would you also call Ukraine retaking Crimea a "Concerning Direction"? I politely suggest that you stand aside.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

7 months

@crazyclips_ Red shirt boi wasn't punching; he was smacking like a kindergartener. Black shirt bro gave him a demonstration of how a punch is done.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

8 months

@LaCivitaC @realDonaldTrump

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

1 year

@TheSGTJoker @RepJamesComer This is an exhaustive exposition of the timeline of disclosures (with links) about Mr. Comer's domestic violence against a girlfriend. Read down far enough, and you'll even find out about him faking an identity in an effort to intimidate and deceive. Takeaway: Comer is vicious.…

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

5 months

@mason4922

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

2 years

From my #landscape #art and #photography portfolio: "Windy, Stormy Autumn River"

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

2 years

From my window on a stormy day in Panama City, Panama, looking out toward the Panama Canal and the Pacific Ocean beyond.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

1 month

@eatinerni The State of Disgrace.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

3 months

@AKBrews TuffBoi messed with the wrong lady!

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

4 months

@LoveTherapis1 Try my coffee.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

4 months

@perry_ron No, I'm not crying. Other people might be crying, but I'm not...

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

10 months

@MarshaBlackburn You are woefully unclear on the distinction between firearms possession and tax crimes of a private citizen and crimes under the Espionage Act committed by the highest ranking public official of the nation against the United States of America.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

2 months

@LawyersAnd She can go to Christ after she's come for Daddy... and I want her back when she's ready for another one.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

2 years

@WarintheFuture @andrea95115861 "larger"? Yes. "more powerful"? Soviet-era weapons and unmotivated conscripts against an increasingly NATO-supplied arsenal and homeland-defending Ukrainians? No.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

8 months

@wiseconnector My cat Phinnaeus

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

11 months

@SFBayAreaGirl John Kasich's claim is completely refuted by hard data: net budget surpluses and deficits are clearly, unambiguously, and irrefutably correlated with the political party in the White House. The graph I've included, which Mr. Kasich should know (and probably does), shows the…

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

5 months

@bigSAC10 That moment when you realize the borsch done yer ass wrong.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

6 months

@joncoopertweets Igor: There's a rumor that Comrade Putin is dead. Ivan: Again? Igor: Yes, and this time it was serious. Ivan: How so, Igor? Igor: He came back from the dead only because he heard a rumor that his bunkmates in Hell were going to be Donald Trump and Elon Musk. Ivan: Hell is a…

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

4 months

@WonderW97800751 That's "Nude Yoga Girl" (NYG), and she posts more than a few photographs doing nude yoga in the snow. I think she's trying to make money being naked so she can afford winter clothes and boots. I've thought about doing a GoFundMe for the poor lady before she gets frostbite in her…

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

3 months

@Joe_S_Pure I walked up to the girls and asked, "Do you know what I got here last year?" The happy girl with the winning personality said, "No, Mister!" I said, "FAT! That's what I got here last year! Gimme four boxes of the shortbreads."

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

7 months

@Rossmac212 FFS.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

3 months

@FAFO_TV When you're the biggest target, go ahead and wear the lightest colored clothing.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

2 years

@scottabeer1 @VetSquare @caslernoel All that combat gear to deal with the bird house hanging down. At least those brave soldiers stayed calm. Errant birds can sense fear.

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Professor C

@ProfessorCring

4 years

@BrentTerhune @thegoodgodabove Just to scare everyone with the proximity of delightful satire to ominous reality, I made this.

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