PADRE @Muniu_Muniu Twitter profile

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PADRE

5 years

Waiyaki Way wasn't named after anyone. It happened that after independence the Kikuyu Elite were on a looting spree and thus it wasn't uncommon for them to ask each other "Waiya Kîî We?" which translates to what have you stolen?

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Last Seen Profiles

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

2 years

Sasa sikia a whole county tunaitwa Nakuru Girls. 😂

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 years

BEER VS VAGINA!! 1. Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work. One point to BEER

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

2 years

If you bought Nation Media Group shares worth 1 Million in 2014, you would have lost 981,000. By now your shares would be worth 19,000. If you had kept your 1 million & drank two Tuskers at 180 every day or Whiskey at 2,500 every week without fail, you would have 36,000 left.

SokoAnalyst

@SokoAnalyst

2 years

Dear Kenyans 🇰🇪 , DO NOT be the people who will spend KES 50,000 in clubs BUT find it HARD to invest even KES 10,000 in stocks, bonds or side hustles. Chanuka!!!

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

5 years

Uko ni Wiyumiririe umepiga filters kunaa Colorado?

Timoshenko

@Kianangih

5 years

Nyahururu - Nyeri highway.

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

5 years

Willy Paul is those stones that we are told will sing for God if we refuse to sing for Him.

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 years

Nitatoa shukrani!

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

4 years

Nani amesema ni mkate? 😂😂😂

Abby🐾

@abigaeldiana

4 years

Kesho ni siku pia

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

2 years

Because 1+1 =11 😂😂😂

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

2 years

Kikuyus need to be stopped. Defund Kikuyu Tiktok 😂😂😂😂

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

6 months

Niliingia gym na 92kgs sasa nimepima niko 96kgs. Na hii ni after mwezi mzima ya kukula greens kama sungura. Siendi tena mimi!

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

4 years

Nishaipigana na mtu juu ya kupiga dame rafiki yangu. Mimi uyo nlilala Parklands Police na wao wakarudi Forty Forty wakakunywa zao na akaenda kupewa strokes. This gender 😭😭😭

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

5 years

To that guy at DCI HQ who told me 'Unakaza mkono unadhani apa ni Gym?' when taking my fingerprints, ni sawa tu! 😂 😂 😂

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

2 years

I am selling my Wines and Spirits business. Stock - 680k Goodwill - 2m Description - iko kwa kona na polisi huwa hawakuji sana. 😂😂😂 My buyer could be on your TL!

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

4 years

I finally had a chance to mourn him well 17 years later and it made me realize that growing tall doesn’t hide you from the grief of a dead father.

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 years

FINAL SCORE: BEER: 10 VAGINA: 8 That's it! The matter is settled, the clear winner is: BEER PS: If you are a woman and at this point feel angry, degraded or discriminated against, just remember that Beer would experience none of those feelings, let alone express them.

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

5 years

Kama hujui na wewe ndio umepiga picha sisi ni malaika tujue?

k@monjo

@kmainaj

5 years

Hapa Ni wapi?

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

2 years

Now give us a Rigathî vs Karua debate.

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 years

Wacha wanitoe hapa nikameze kobole!

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

1 year

Upwards and onwards. Master of Research and Public Policy in the bag. Ni God manze!

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

4 years

Mũthicĩrwo Ngong Hills ndagaga nyeki itina!

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 years

Imagine cheating na mtu anavaa crocs as if dunia ni bafu 😂😂😂

Franz Kafka, AKA (Monkey Beats)

@MB_254

3 years

It is so disrespectful when you cheat on your engineer bf with a crocs wearing jobless man.

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

2 years

*Me as a lawyer* your honor, îno nî ngoma ya mùndù.

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

1 year

Mnunue Pishori rice ya Pilau guys 😂

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

1 year

No akorwo ena paybill tùrùgame nake? 😂

Cow Girl

@Msnyaguthii

1 year

This one has kept a grasshopper as a pet for the last 3 days, even went with it to school, unfortunately it died at night and now he is talking about burying it 🤣🤣

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 years

The fact that uko na watoto already means you can't be referred to as girlies. You are a 'mathes'.

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

4 years

Wueh... Facebook keeps wilding.

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 years

An extra point for BEER!

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

1 year

Unastep up alafu baba mtoto bado anakuita "the fella". 😂

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 years

Also Drey 😂😂😂😂😂

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

1 year

This your person? 😂

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

4 years

A woman once cheated on me then blamed it on her zodiac sign, ati I’m an Aries sijui ruled by Mars. Anga sijui we are impulsive and desirous and have a short attention span. Kucheat haikuniuma kama iyo explanation ya ufala. 😭😭

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 years

If you bought Nation Media Group shares worth 1 Million in 2014, you would have lost 956,000. By now your shares would be worth 44,000. If you had kept your 1 million & drank two Tuskers at 180 every day or Whiskey at 2,500 every week without fail, you would have 160,000 left.

Droid

@droid254

3 years

There are people that bought NMG shares at 273 bob in 2013

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

1 year

We umbwa uyu si ni wewe. Toa mafi kwa mentions zangu. We both have children to raise! Salamander.

Jiren ×͜×

@E537K

1 year

@Muniu_Muniu Ukijipata Umekuwa mzee hizi Pick me Nigga behaviors unawachia watoto

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

2 years

Kikuyu Tiktok huwa on another level 😂😂😂

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 years

8. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested. If you smell of vagina he may buy you a beer. One point to VAGINA

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 months

You do not have the moral authority to question anyone's ethics while you are a known bribery enabler. Sit this one out!

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 years

5. If you go home reeking of beer your wife may get mad, make a scene, kick you out, etc. If you go home reeking of vagina your wife may get mad, kick you out, even leave you. There's definitely a point to be had here, depending on your point of view so I'll just call it a DRAW

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 years

6. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home. Ten vaginas in one night and you don't want to drive anywhere. One point to VAGINA

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 years

13. If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off. One point to BEER

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

5 years

I am selling this gem. Kindly retweet the buyer might be on your TL.

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 years

14. You can always be sure if you're the first one to open a bottle or a can. One point to BEER

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 years

7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may suffer. If you eat any vagina in public, you become a legend. One point to VAGINA

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 years

2. Warm beer tastes awful. One point to VAGINA

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 years

9. You normally don't find old beer. One point to BEER

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 years

19. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you drink it. One point to BEER

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

5 years

Na wengine wanaandika ati they are self driven yet ata hawana magari

Sir-Rap-alot

@OsamaOtero

5 years

Hiyo story ya Achieng sioni ubaya. Si ata kwa CV zetu sisi huandika 'i am a self sufficient person, hardworking, result oriented individual, team player! " 😂😂😂

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 years

11. Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring. Ripping off panties is fun. One point to VAGINA

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 years

3. A really cold beer is satisfying. One point to BEER

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 years

4. If after taking a swig of your favorite beer you find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit. One point to VAGINA

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 years

Aye @_Mohkay the incidence jana was uncalled for.

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 years

10. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers. Too much vagina and you'll think you've seen God. One point to VAGINA

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 years

12. In most countries there's a tax on beer. One point to VAGINA

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 years

18. Beer doesn't have a mother. One point to BEER

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 years

17. You always know how much beer is going to cost. One point to BEER

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

2 years

@muthumbinm There was this... 😂

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 years

Makosa yangu ni kuendea food ya match officials na kudai ntaongeza 250 ndo anipee extra helping. Jamaa aliburst into smithereens ilibidi ashikwe. Me I thought ata ni kifafa.

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 years

16. With beer you always have choice: clear, dark, pilsner, ale, lager, etc. One point to BEER

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 years

15. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but eventually it settles down. One point to BEER

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

4 years

@Annitajoe1 Sema tu unatafuta mfereji ya kushikilia ukipokea back strokes tondũ ũkoragwo wĩ mwaganu ta cũcũ wa njoka wee 😂😂😂😂😂

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

1 year

Ombachi ameguza chakula ya wageni. 😂

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 years

Ameamka alete dispute ama bado? Your favorite turmeric wings connoisseur lacks emotional intelligence and it shows.

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

1 year

He never listens to anyone when told to use English no tondù ti kwa nyùkwa thiî ùkamîe ùhùthe!

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

7 months

If you had kept your 1 million & drank two Tuskers at 180 every day or Whiskey at 2,500 every week without fail, you would still have 375,000 left.

Ja Loka

@_fels1

7 months

If you bought Safaricom shares worth ksh. 1 million in 2019, your shares today are worth Ksh.317,000. I hope this won't be another KQ, Mumias and Eveready😓

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 years

No. She is well known for her stints with Maroon Commandos and Les Wanyika.

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

4 years

Ũyũ endaga ũgapause midstroke ũkamũria mũkũri nũũ? 😂😂😂😂

Uncle Sam

@Gicherengo

4 years

Kîremba is where it is cabrons.

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

1 year

Women in their 30s. God bless you!

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

2 years

Kîhîî nî kîenyù kîa Ngai. 😂 Close shave!

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 years

Ukikuja event you will interact na clients then stay off alcohol. Nyef Nyef mabawa zangu... Mabawa ni za kuku msee. Tulia ujijenge

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

10 months

Unauliza dame what caused the first world war anakuambia ati nî mùirano. 😂

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

4 years

Kikuyu men 😂😂😂😂

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

8 months

@MwenesiValerie When they go low remind them! 😂

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 years

Odds Kampupii - 2.32 Jeff - 2.96 Muchiri HIV - 3.04 Osama - 13.58 Peter_Jrn - 23.54

unruly

@gidikariuki

3 years

Hiyo mimba inaeza kuwa ya anyone at this moment

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

1 year

Please take Kikuyus off Tiktok.

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

4 years

This meat is so raw people in India are still worshipping it!

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

1 year

@Msnyaguthii Usiku mzae anakojoa bed juu anaona akitoka watapatana 😂

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

9 months

I think Herod misunderstood when his daughter requested for John The Baptist's head.

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

4 years

giCARmbura

DUAL CHROMOSOMES 🇰🇪

@Dual_Chromosome

4 years

Nikiwa na 40K naweza nunua car gani?

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

11 months

My Kikuyu people are really extra 😂

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 years

"...take a bath and put on perfume and dress in your nicest clothes. Then go to the threshing floor, but don't let Boaz see you until he has finished eating and drinking. Be sure to notice where he lies down; then go and uncover his feet and lie down there." - Ruth 3:1-4

Kalasinga

@Kalasinga_

3 years

Rev. Natasha ameamua kudrain swamp. Hawabakishi. 😂

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

8 months

Oh shit... There's more. 😂

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

2 years

Njenga nengera gatwero hau...îno îraita maî ta mama cia Mùthîga. 😂

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

5 years

@wakah_mahjid Aki wewe cuzo mahari yako tutaletewa mbuzi haina miguu za nyuma! 😂😂😂

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

6 years

Finally they have come through. Retweet widely my client could be on your TL!

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

6 months

👌

THE WATCHER

@Jahmu__

6 months

So ukikosana na mtu wako mkiwa baecation on Day 1 unado?

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

11 months

Yesterday one went on and on about how much she knows about wine and I ended up asking her about the Austrian wine scandal of 1985. Miss Delulu left our table 😂

ur_contra's_favourite_contra🥭

@AndrewMusembi8

11 months

Nairobi folks be calling themselves wine connoisseurs while they're drinking the shittiest, lowest quality wine that the very dregs of American and European society couldn't be forced to drink at gunpoint LMAO. So long as y'all are happy tho.

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

1 year

@Annitajoe1 Ama sometimes hawa watu hupika hii food then wanatupa? 😂

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

4 years

@keg_connoisseur Sasa me ningejua aje foreplay yao ni makofi? 😂😂😂

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

4 years

Today I turn 27. It has been a journey but I am glad I have not lost the smile. Happy birthday to me!

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

2 years

@kamonjomaina @SymonKaguru Na mwalimu 'odijo'

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

1 year

I am looking for translators for a short term project. They must be fluent in spoken and written Kamba, Luo or Kalenjin language. Kindly reach out to me! #IkoKaziKenya

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

4 years

You ask for the River Between alafu unapata ni Kifo Kisimani😏😏😏

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

1 year

Victims sio hao wamama wawili wa jana pekee. Ule wa matwins mwenye alikua hosted apange line pia atupee her side of the D. 😂

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

1 year

@Its_Elchapo Kina @gathonikamau10 wenye matako ni subcounty 😂

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

9 years

#IsYourDadAware you got an F in Statistics but you've calculated all your safe days till 2030?

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

2 years

This lives in my mind rent free. 😂

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

2 years

Pro Tip : Take that paste use it to put up posters saying "Wife needed" on electricity poles and thank me later!

Mapesa Kuria, OGW

@Kushmapesa

2 years

Woke up at 5.30am to teach myself how to cook pancakes hahahaha the paste is ready an hr later.

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

1 year

Hobbies such as reading, walking or watching movies should be avoided in your C.V. How do these universal activities make you unique? You might as well write sleeping or breathing. Check your CV now and write sensible mature hobbies!

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PADRE

@Muniu_Muniu

3 years

Maina, ndanuko cia marenge watanukĩirwo nĩ cũguo no hĩndĩ ciagĩa mũrimũ?

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