Frankie Boyle Updates @frankieboyle Twitter profile

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Frankie Boyle Updates

18 days

Hanging up the old socials for the summer. There’s still a few tickets left for some of the Scottish shows next month if you’re quick. Podcast out every Monday and clips will go up here.

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Last Seen Profiles

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Frankie Boyle Updates

@frankieboyle

2 years

Johnson says he’s asking the Cabinet Secretary to look into whether there was a party. IT WAS IN YOUR HOUSE MATE

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@frankieboyle

2 years

I mean, it’s a drag, and we’re all busy, but there’s going to need to be some kind of revolution

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@frankieboyle

7 months

Israel could say that hospital got blown up by a dragon and the British press would run with it

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@frankieboyle

2 years

The Rwanda flight on the anniversary of Grenfell says everything about the direction we’ve traveled in the last five years

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@frankieboyle

3 months

I can’t help feeling that what’s happening in Gaza is the beginning of the end for all of us. If we can have a genocide live-streamed during the Super Bowl and say nothing, theres no challenge in the coming years that we won’t fail.

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@frankieboyle

2 years

Surely time for Prince Andrew to do another Newsnight interview and clear this whole thing up

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@frankieboyle

7 months

Being appalled by terrorism, but unfazed by genocide: the Imperial mindset

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@frankieboyle

2 years

I hope Liz Truss will now apologise to the school she said overlooked her potential

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Frankie Boyle Updates

@frankieboyle

4 years

Trump hasn't tweeted yet today, and I don't want to read too much into that, but he's dead

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@frankieboyle

1 year

A river of boiling shit flows through your town. You haven’t seen a tomato for 18 months. MOTD is 3 minutes long and narrated by a parakeet. Your salary is paid directly to British Gas. You solve a riddle to speak to a GP. You feel people come here because they want an easy life

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@frankieboyle

4 years

They said it was political correctness that would end Christmas, but it was actually electing people who try to source medical supplies through their mate's pest control firm

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@frankieboyle

6 months

Trying to defend something you don’t understand from a threat that doesn’t exist is British far-right politics in a nutshell

Josh Gafson

@JoshGafson1

6 months

Fighting has broken out as people shouting ‘England ‘till I die’ attempted to reach the Cenotaph 👇

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@frankieboyle

2 years

Apparently they’re trying to lure him out with some used knickers on a fishing line

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Frankie Boyle Updates

@frankieboyle

4 years

We could have 100% furlough if we weren't spending countless billions renewing Trident to defend our rainy plague island against nobody

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Frankie Boyle Updates

@frankieboyle

9 months

If you didn’t get the A-level results you wanted, remember that we’re only a few years away from the collapse of organised human life

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@frankieboyle

6 months

There’s also the interesting question of whether you can have a war if one side doesn’t have an airforce; navy; standing army; electricity; food; or water; and is a bunch of kids

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@frankieboyle

4 months

I’m no public relations expert, but my instinct would be to stop killing civilians while I was being tried in The Hague

Ramy Abdu| رامي عبده

@RamAbdu

4 months

Breaking: Number of dead and injuries as Israeli tanks targeted crowds on the Sea Street west of Gaza, waiting for flour trucks.

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@frankieboyle

2 years

If Batman was real he’d be the world’s least weird billionaire

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@frankieboyle

4 years

If the government starving children seems irrational, remember that they hate you

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@frankieboyle

4 months

The British State Hating refugees 🤝 Creating refugees

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Frankie Boyle Updates

@frankieboyle

2 years

Current advice seems to be have Christmas parties but don’t go to them

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@frankieboyle

2 years

I think the idea is to make the news so bad that it’s a relief when the power cuts kick in

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@frankieboyle

4 years

There could be a good reality TV show where all the folk who want to show how they can make a nutritious meal for 25p get together and cook their dishes in a shipping container that we drop onto the floor of the Atlantic Ocean at its very deepest point

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@frankieboyle

2 months

Just a friendly heads up that complaining about someone defacing a painting when you’ve been silent about a genocide makes you seem like a psychopath

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@frankieboyle

2 years

The term illegal immigrants being tossed around on mainstream news channels to describe people seeking asylum. Just because the government wish this was illegal doesn’t make it so.

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@frankieboyle

6 months

We’re not worried that you’re not ruthless enough mate: it’s more that we’re worried you’re a total psycho

Keir Starmer

@Keir_Starmer

6 months

Sometimes you have to be ruthless to be a good leader. I changed the Labour Party. If I'm privileged enough to be given the opportunity, I'll change the country too. Great to speak to @Alex_Bilmes for @EsquireUK .

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@frankieboyle

2 years

The first time the UK have been top of a European leaderboard since the Covid deaths table #Eurovision

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@frankieboyle

3 years

If any government can fuck up rolling out a vaccine, it's this one

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@frankieboyle

2 years

Sanctioning Abramovich only hurts ordinary Chelsea fans, which is why I’m all for it

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@frankieboyle

2 months

Is shooting starving people dead as they queue for food what we’re calling war now?

BBC News (World)

@BBCWorld

2 months

Israel-Gaza war: More than 100 killed as crowd waits for aid, Hamas-run health ministry says

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@frankieboyle

2 years

I’m going to go out on a limb and say “Let’s give it three weeks and see what happens” isn’t an amazing strategy

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@frankieboyle

7 months

It feels stupid to have to say this, but anyone dropping a 2000lb bomb into a city is targeting civilians

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@frankieboyle

2 years

Everyone who wants things shut down right now are the exact same people who talk about strikes inconveniencing people

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@frankieboyle

6 months

Keir Starmer is actually going to sack his own front bench rather than make a diplomatic plea so mild and uncontroversial that it’s already been made by a whole bunch of Tories; Emmanuel Macron; and Macklemore.

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@frankieboyle

3 years

Weird to think that someone who considered imprisoning asylum seekers on a volcanic outcrop a thousand miles from land is also a bully

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@frankieboyle

4 years

Just fades out because they can't shut the mad cunt up

Donald J. Trump

@realDonaldTrump

4 years

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@frankieboyle

7 months

In a rational world, Britain would be asking for the blockade on Gaza to be lifted and these ships would be taking food and medical supplies to a disaster zone

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@frankieboyle

2 years

With the way the media are flapping at a fairly basic industrial dispute, you do wonder if they’re equipped to handle next year’s riots

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@frankieboyle

3 months

Hard to disagree, if the suffragettes wanted political change they should have voted for it

Tom Harwood

@tomhfh

3 months

I don’t think it’s wise for the Mayor of London to name an overground line in honour of a group who sought political change through violence.

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@frankieboyle

3 years

We let columnists from the Times, Telegraph, and Spectator try running the country and 75,000 people died

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@frankieboyle

5 months

Obviously Hamas are awful, but if you put people in a concentration camp, blockade it, and bomb it every so often, what social and political movements do you think will emerge? That’s not a recipe for creating a society with a lot of Lib Dems and a thriving Girl Guiding scene

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@frankieboyle

4 years

I think that, sooner or later, the British will re-enter Europe, admittedly as refugees

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@frankieboyle

4 months

Keir Starmer saying he supports military action against Yemen because civilian lives are at risk. Something he’s suddenly worried about after supporting the denial of food and water to Palestinians, and refusing to call for a ceasefire as they are massacred.

BBC Breakfast

@BBCBreakfast

4 months

'We are supporting this action' Labour leader Keir Starmer spoke to #BBCBreakfast after US and UK forces carried out air strikes against Houthi rebel targets in Yemen

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@frankieboyle

4 months

Absolutely breathtaking depravity

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@frankieboyle

4 years

There are a lot of reasons for thinking Trump will pull through, such as the likelihood that Hell will reject his soul

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@frankieboyle

7 months

If I was trying to convince people I didn’t bomb something, I’d stop bombing other things while I made my case

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@frankieboyle

2 years

Maybe we should let a few sober people take a crack at organising things for a while

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@frankieboyle

2 years

The reason you don’t have a significant fascist party in Britain is that those voters are very happy with the government

Priti Patel MP

@pritipatel

2 years

🇬🇧🇷🇼 In Kigali, Rwanda, ahead of a significant moment for the New Plan for Immigration. Prime Minister @BorisJohnson will set out the full detail tomorrow.

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@frankieboyle

4 years

If the private sector after all this time and 12 billion quid hasn't produced a functioning test and trace system, it isn't going to. It would make sense to nationalise the response to Covid now, rather than after next summer's riots.

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@frankieboyle

6 months

People who’ve spent their careers being outraged by song lyrics; sex scenes; inaccuracies in period dramas; and politicians bowing at the wrong angle; reacting to mass murder as if it’s as natural as rainfall. Images of dead kids and body parts everywhere; no offence taken.

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@frankieboyle

6 months

For reasons that are impossible to fathom, the UK Labour Party went out of its way to provide political cover for what will be one of the most lurid massacres in human history. It should at least be unequivocally calling for a ceasefire now.

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@frankieboyle

4 months

Subbed this for you - Israel kills 12 people, mostly children, in Gaza area declared safe zone by Israel

The Associated Press

@AP

4 months

Strike kills 12 people, mostly children, in Gaza area declared safe zone by Israel

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@frankieboyle

6 months

You’d think that a country killing journalists would get worse press

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@frankieboyle

4 years

Nothing more 2020 than regular updates about what odds the bookies are giving on fascism

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@frankieboyle

4 years

Feel like I'm watching coverage of whether or not an asteroid will hit the Earth

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@frankieboyle

4 years

A lot of people will struggle this winter if they can't go to public buildings to get warm. Not raising benefits is just sadism really: all the money goes straight back into the economy anyway.

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@frankieboyle

4 years

Rishi Sunak has the air of a 6th former who still wears their uniform

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@frankieboyle

2 years

Some of the most hated people in Britain are folk who wanted us to insulate our houses, before winter, during an energy crisis

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@frankieboyle

4 years

One way to not get too down about 2020 is to remind yourself that next year will be worse

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@frankieboyle

2 years

Sad that Rishi Sunak has inherited economic chaos from himself

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@frankieboyle

5 months

I think what often gets lost in the Gaza coverage is that the bombing happens because the United States allows it to, and the minute they say it has to stop it will stop. They bankroll the whole endeavour, position military assets to dissuade interference, and supply the bombs.

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@frankieboyle

7 months

If you see the indiscriminate bombing of civilians as a necessary evil, I just want you to consider briefly that you might be completely nuts

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@frankieboyle

2 years

I hope you’ve had a wonderful Christmas and stored up enough happy memories to see you through three months of lockdown and a war with Russia

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@frankieboyle

5 months

We shot them because we thought they were Palestinian civilians under a flag of truce

BBC Breaking News

@BBCBreaking

5 months

IDF says Israeli hostages in Gaza were holding white cloth on stick when Israeli forces mistakenly shot them

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@frankieboyle

4 years

One thing nobody could have predicted is just how many sides there would be in the British Civil War

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@frankieboyle

3 months

You wiped £450 billion off the pensions market. You should perhaps spend the rest of your life in silence, possibly in prayer.

Liz Truss

@trussliz

3 months

You can't triangulate with terrorists - you can't compromise with communists - more from my @CPAC speech 👇

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@frankieboyle

4 months

The walk off is genuinely amazing. It’s going to be a hell of an election.

Sam Bright

@WritesBright

4 months

Prickly Sunak meets member of public. Patronises them, laughs at them, and then walks away halfway through encounter. A genuine sign of contempt from PM towards ordinary voters.

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@frankieboyle

4 years

At least the new lockdown will give you a chance to revisit all the hobbies you developed in the old one, and see if you can do them in the dark, while crying

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@frankieboyle

2 years

Just thinking there about how Liverpool are only in the Champions League because their keeper scored a Billy the Fish header at the end of last season. I fucking love football.

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@frankieboyle

2 years

The Christmas Party was held a week before Christmas, because Tory Christmas is actually a celebration of King Herod’s genocide

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@frankieboyle

1 month

Nobody is dropping a 2000 pound bomb into a civilian area because they are looking for anybody in particular

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@frankieboyle

6 months

I fink a lot of these homeless are “from abroad”! - The actual Home Secretary and not some demented bastard you overhear on a bus

Suella Braverman MP

@SuellaBraverman

6 months

The British people are compassionate. We will always support those who are genuinely homeless. But we cannot allow our streets to be taken over by rows of tents occupied by people, many of them from abroad, living on the streets as a lifestyle choice. 1/4

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@frankieboyle

4 years

A stadium filled with hatred is never empty

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@frankieboyle

2 years

Remember that although it feels like your problems are insurmountable today, in a few months you’ll have completely forgotten them, when you get a three grand gas bill

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@frankieboyle

8 months

Cabinet should be held in a different crumbling school every day until it’s sorted out, give our politics a nice, tense Jenga feel

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@frankieboyle

4 months

A lot of British right wing politics is people who went to the world’s most exclusive schools and universities, angry that other people get to have anything at all

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@frankieboyle

4 years

Let's have a referendum and gtf

Britain Elects

@BritainElects

4 years

Scottish independence voting intention: Yes: 58% No: 42% via @IpsosMORI , 02 - 09 Oct

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@frankieboyle

2 years

I miss the old Love Island when there was a smokers bit and a brickie would shag a maniac and then accuse them of being muggy

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@frankieboyle

2 years

We haven’t heard the last of Kwasi Kwarteng. In five years time he’ll be a really tricky tiebreaker in a pub quiz

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@frankieboyle

4 months

Palestinians shouldn’t be having to find an angle that engages your sympathy with starving and dying children

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@frankieboyle

2 years

Thing about the Orange Walk is, if you looked at those guys and wondered what their hobby was, walking wouldn’t be your first guess

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@frankieboyle

3 months

Perhaps this would be a better use of public money than bombing Yemen to keep Israeli shipping insurance premiums down

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@frankieboyle

3 years

Remember that this is a team that grew up in a warzone in the 1990s, but is still able to draw with Serbia

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@frankieboyle

5 months

“ We don’t get into politics” on the news

Lowkey

@Lowkey0nline

5 months

"Free Congo, we want a ceasefire...and Palestine" Legendary artist Ghetts is interrupted on ITV when trying to call for a ceasefire in the Congo and Palestine.

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@frankieboyle

7 months

At the risk of stating the obvious, genocide is never a proportionate response

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@frankieboyle

2 years

A World Cup of people sitting in their freezing homes watching players pass out from heatstroke

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@frankieboyle

3 months

If someone says they think bombing people in tents in a refugee camp is an attempt to deal with Hamas, they’re either lying or mad

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@frankieboyle

2 years

I mean it’s a minor point but who believes Johnson would only stay at a party for 9 minutes, the booze didn’t get opened and the cake didn’t get eaten? LOOK AT THE FUCKER

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@frankieboyle

3 months

This is disgusting, and anyone not speaking out against it is engaged in the purest kind of nihilism.

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@frankieboyle

2 years

I think Liz Truss should experiment with doing the exact opposite of whatever her instincts tell her

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@frankieboyle

2 years

Sure there are some bad Tories, but let’s not forget there are also some worse ones

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@frankieboyle

2 years

In a way you could view it as quite liberating. Normally we go into Christmas with all kinds of responsibilities; this year your only goal can be clinging onto the tattered remains of your sanity

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@frankieboyle

2 years

There will need to be some kind of revolution, but for now let’s enjoy Christmas

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@frankieboyle

3 months

Our freedoms are under attack, says maniac who outlawed protest

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@frankieboyle

2 months

Rishi Sunak very concerned about the state of Britain for someone who’s going to fuck off to America in about 9 months

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@frankieboyle

4 years

So in a few years time we're supposed to just watch this exact same horror story recast with Keir Starmer and act surprised?

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@frankieboyle

6 months

One of the problems in our society is that there are people who should be receiving top quality mental health care , who are instead editing newspapers and presenting radio phone-ins

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@frankieboyle

7 months

Sending a trickle of aid into Gaza before a ground invasion is giving someone a cigarette before the firing squad

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@frankieboyle